INSULTING SPANDAM - One Piece RageFic

The First Insult

Death was just too easy an escape for him. This lilac-haired coward of a man deserved torment. Excruciating, mentally damaging torment. And I... Well, I decided I was going to be the one to serve it to him. After his fall on the bridge, I snatched him away from the battle. His body was damaged, he was unconcious. Dragging him away was an easy task, as was locking him up in the dungeon. I was going to keep him alive. His barred cell was provided with everything a human needs to survive. After a few hours, he opened his eyes. I expected he wouldn't be able to move or talk for a while, since he'd got beaten up so badly. Unfortunately... I was wrong.

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

His fists were already curled up around and tugging at the bars. His voice was extremely loud and demanding. I stayed hidden in the shadows.

"WHO PUT ME HERE?! WAS IT YOU, STRAW-HAT!? CUTTY FLAM?! NICO ROBIN?!?!"

I slowly stepped into the light. I looked at the almost terrifying eyes of the prisoner and swallowed the last bit of fear I had away.

"Good evening, Spandam."

He stared at my face in a futile attempt to recall who I was.

"Who the hell are you?" he then said in confusion. "Am I supposed to know you? DID YOU PUT ME HERE?! GET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!!"

"Please don't talk so loud," I said, covering my ears. "This place is echoey. No, you are not supposed to know me. We've never met before. My name is Girda. However, I do know you. You're the man who invoked the Buster Call. You're someone who works for the World Government. Someone who's responsible for murdering a little too many innocents, if you ask me."

"WHAT?! I'VE NEVER--"

"Yes, you have. And I have saved your life. I dragged you away from the battlefield and put you here."

"I see. Well, I'm fine now so let me out."

"No."

"HOW DARE YOU!! I'M WARNING YOU, I'LL KILL YOU! LET ME OUT NOW!!!"

"No. And I'll tell you why. Death is too easy for a man like you, Spandam. You deserve worse. THAT'S why I put you here. You will stay here, with nowhere to go, and you..."

I smiled my sickest smile. I saw Spandam flinch a bit.

"You will listen to my awesome insults and great burns everyday."

It was quiet for a moment. Sadly, only for a moment.

"WHAAAAT!! ARE YOU INSANE?!?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, AWESOME INSULTS?!?!"

I smiled again. It was time for my first insult.

"You ask a lot of questions, so you really don't know much, do you? Perhaps I should call you SPAN-DUMB!!!"

I cackled. Spandam started screaming again.

"HOW DARE YOU!! THAT WASN'T EVEN A GOOD INSULT! I AM THE HERO OF THIS WORLD, YOU HEAR ME?! KEEPING ME HERE IS A CRIME AGAINST THE WORLD!! LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"Oh, the insults will get better over time," I said. "I'd say I did a pretty good job for a first-timer. I'll see you again tomorrow, Span-dumb. You'll be shook by my awesome roast."

I walked out of the dungeon and left the screaming man behind.