INSULTING SPANDAM - One Piece RageFic

The Seventh Insult

I had to cover my ears when I walked through the dungeon the next day. The shrill sounds of metallic objects scraping against each other was unbearable. When I had almost reached Spandam's cell, the scraping immediately stopped. I put my hands down and stepped into the light to see him.

Spandam seemed to be out of breath, but he was trying his best to not let it show. He was simply standing in the center of his cell, facing the iron bars.

"You've got some nerve to come here again," he said. "You really believe you'll get away with all this, don't you?" A sharp grin appeared on his face. "Soon, the members of the World Government will find me here and set me free. And once they do, I will put a bounty on your little head so high, you'll never be safe anywhere again. And then, when I get my hands on you, I'll--"

"I think you're incredibly naive," I said with a shrug before he could finish. "Do you really think anyone out there is looking for you? No. They think you're dead. And even if they knew you were still alive, nobody would go through the effort of looking for you. And you know why?"

I smiled.

"Because they hate you, Spandam. They consider you to be nothing a nuisance. You've never done anything right in your life."

"You're spouting nonsense," the prisoner said with a scoff. "I am a hero, everyone knows that!"

"Hm, fine then," I said. "Tell me, do you remember how Kalifa said your entire existence was harassment?"

He frowned a little.

"Or," I continued, "do you recall Rob Lucci ever saying something to you that didn't sound like he was utterly disgusted by you?"

He frowned more.

"...How do you--"

"You see, nobody cares about you. If anything, the World Government is happy they're finally rid of you."

His teeth were bared and I could see his veins popping out his forehead as he realized everything I said was true. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke in a harsh and distrusting voice.

"...Who are you?"

I shook my head.

"You already know my name," I said. "And that's who I am. But I might also be..."

I used my most evil glare for this one.

"...your greatest nightmare."

That made him a little uneasy, but he managed to return my evil glare with one of his own.

"Are you certain it's not the only way around, Girda?"

"I'm not the one behind bars," I responded.

Suddenly, he laughed.

"Really? From my perspective, you are."

I decided to just laugh too.

"Right. Then why are you trying to get through them? Don't think I didn't hear your attempts at breaking the bars. Ha... I advise you not to bother with that anymore, unless you want to waste your energy."

Spandam scoffed and turned around.

"Well, if you're done insulting me for today," he growled, "then I suggest you leave. I'M going to have a snack."

He walked towards the fridge and tripped over the apple core he had thrown on the ground yesterday. He screamed dramatically as he bumped his head against the fridge and fell on the ground.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little. Spandam cleared his throat as he stood up again, rubbing his head.

"Maybe you should keep your cell clean," I said.

"Maybe you should mind your own business," he said.

I grinned and left the dungeon again. I had almost forgotten what an idiot this man was. Stupid, cowardly, naive, sadistic... I really couldn't think of anything that was good about him.