My Father's Beta

Like A Goat?

Beth

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT IT'S JUST THAT I TRIED SOME MATURE CONTENT!!!!!!!!!! IN THIS ONE COS PEOPLE WANTED SOME STEAMY STUFF FROM JIM AND BETH - I DONT USUALLY DO IT AND I FELT REALLY WEIRD AND INSECURE ABOUT POSTING IT BUT HERE IT IS - I REALLY HOPE I DIDN'T DISAPOINT XD

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I froze, staring at Jim’s face at a total loss of what to say or do or how to breathe. Dad seemed to sense the tension since he oh so not casually started stepping out of the room backwards and silently shut the door behind him.

I felt my lips idly frame words before any discernible sound came out. “I don’t know what to say”.

Jim smiled sadly, casting his eyes down to the sheets. “You don’t have to say anything baby, it’s ok –“

I shook my head and reached out for his arms to hold me; which they did, it just felt like he was going to leave and I didn’t want that.

“It’s not that I don’t love you, that I don’t want to marry you I just – Jim I only just found out that I’m pregnant like, a minute ago and I passed out and, I didn’t really have any time to process it and then I’m having to tell you and, calm you down about it – I don’t even know how I feel about it”.

Jim looked caught between surprise and sadness. “You don’t want the baby”? He asked me gently, absently stroking the soft material of my shirt.

Automatically my hands went to my stomach in fear, like even saying that meant it would disappear. “I’d never say that, ever but I, I don’t know how I feel”.

Jim squeezed me a little tighter in comfort, resting his forehead against mine and looking deep into my eyes. “So tell me, if there’s anyone on this Earth you can tell me Beth, you can tell me how you feel”. I nodded and still in his arms Jim laid us down on the bed facing each other. I wasn’t sure at first why he moved us but I realised that I felt more relaxed now with our scents mixed together on the bedspread, I felt home.

“I just, I’m scared I guess”.

“Scared of what”? He murmured softly, brushing his fingers through my hair.

I took an unsteady deep breath and made my eyes look up for a second to keep the tear I felt forming from falling as everything hit home. “Everything, being pregnant, the thought of giving birth, and being a Mom – what if I’m no good at it Jim, what if our baby hates me”?

Jim’s eyes softened and he cupped my cheek with his hand. “Hey, that’s not going to happen Beth, you are going to be a fantastic Mother. I saw it from the beginning, it’s just there in you – especially now with how you dealt with Mason and Lily; some people are good with numbers, some are really good at music or art or politics or something I don’t know, but you Beth, you’re good with people, and you’re good with people because you understand. You’ve been through so much and you didn’t turn horrible and bitter and defensive, you used it to help people, it’s who you are. Nobody could hate you if they tried, especially not our baby”.

I looked at my mate in awe. “When did you get so deep huh”?

Jim smiled. “Not deep, I just know you and I love you more every time I find something new”.

I shook my head a little at how heartbreakingly perfect he is. I just can’t believe he ended up with me, how in all heaven and Earth and chance and fate I got to be with Jim, I got to be with him and love him and have him love me back just as much.