Newt Imagines

Confessions P1 - "I Can't Bloody Help It!"

Newt's POV

From my spot in the garden, I have the perfect view. Not of the glade, who'd want to look at that hellhole anyway?Not of the deadheads, nor the maze. My view is of her.
She works in the garden with me, usually a few plots ahead, where I can see her carefully tend the garden, laughing when the other gladers around her slip up or make jokes. She's beautiful.

With the arrival of another greenie, today marks y/n's 5th month in the glade. 5 months of treasuring the moments I get to spend with her, of admiring every small thing she does. She makes me feel things that I didn't even know were possible: flutters in my heart and a sickness to my stomach that for some reason I adore. Even without my memories, I know I have never felt this way before. She looks over at me from her plot, smiling, and the internal shakiness erupts. I am lucky enough to call her my friend, and will have to accept that as the best it's going to be.

I finish up for the day's work, then head over to her plot to help her clean up.

"Hey Newt!" She smiles.

"Hey, y/n." I reply, having to concentrate in order to keep my words from jumbling.

After helping her put her tools away, I walk with her to the homestead for dinner. We joke and laugh the whole way, me listening to her angelic voice gush over some flowers she found in the deadheads, (y/f/c) ones to match her favourite colour. She walks at a slower pace to allow for my limp, not even mentioning it as a hassle. We reach the homestead much too quickly; I wish I could walk with her forever. Frypan already has dinner laid out, so I have to regretfully stop our conversation. We get our food together, before finding our usual seat next to Tommy and Minho.

"Hey Thomas, hey Minho!" She greets them enthusiastically. "Have you met the new greenie yet? Got any idea what they're like?"

Tommy is the first to reply, "we've met him. Nothing super special," he recounts thoughtfully, "at least, not like the surprise we had when you came up!"

I watch y/n's reaction, catching the flicker of sadness that crosses her face when Tommy says "he". She covers it up almost immediately, but her whole attitude shifts.

"Oh..." she pauses, before putting on her cheerful tone once more. "Well I'm sure he'll find a way to help out." She sighs, looking between the boys to finally rest her eyes on me. "I'm going to the bathroom. Don't let anyone steal my food." She smiles, before walking off.

I watch her leave, the energetic bounce having disappeared from her step. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be the only girl amongst all us guys. I wish I could do something to help her, but I don't know how.

"Glade to Newt," a voice says, waking me from my daze. "Neeewwt..." Minho drags my name out, waving his hand in front of my face.

"What?" I groan.

"You ever going to tell her, or are you just going to keep pathetically pining over her?" Minho asks bluntly.

"W... what are you talking about?" I stammer, trying to think of an excuse.

"Y/n, of course!" Minho says. "It's shucking obvious you like her, don't bother denying it. It's a miracle she hasn't noticed it yet."

I cover my face with my hands. "Don't tell her. I don't want to ruin the friendship."

Tommy just laughs at me.

"What are you laughing at, Tommy? I can't bloody help it." I sigh.

"Just tell her. It seems like she likes you anyway." Tommy argues.

"She what?" I gape at him.

It's Minho's turn to laugh, "now, Thomas. Don't get his hopes up."