Angels deserve to die-Larry Stylinson

Chapter 8 (edited)

(were time skipping about 6 months)

"okay harry" my therapist said as we pulled up to the airport, it was finally time for me to go home after nine months in treatment. i was still struggling with my thoughts but the medication i was on was helping and i had learned some coping mechanisms to help.

"thank you elise" i said as i grabbed my small backpack of belongings

"remember to call if you're struggling and don't forget about your new therapist session on wednesday. have a safe flight harry!"

the flight went by slowly as ever. i was nervous, yeah louis had come to visit me but what if he changed his mind on how he felt about me? what if i got home and i fell back into old habits? there was so much to think about and debate on. it felt like days had gone by before we landed but when we did my anxiety got worse. coming face to face with my band mates and louis again out of a controlled environment was terrifying.

"harry"

"louis"

he engulfed me in a bone crushing hug and i closed my eyes and took in this moment.

"i missed you" i mumbled and he nodded "i did too"

"the boys are waiting for us at home" louis said as we pulled apart and i nodded. i figured as much, i knew they wanted to visit when i was away but they had a strict family and significant others rule.

the car ride was full of updates from louis without much conversing from me just the occasional nod.

"so your therapist at the facility talked to me about how well you're doing and set up the appointment for you on wednesday but i wanna hear it from you love, how are you?"

i looked at my fingers and then over to him "i'm okay, it's hard to stay clean but i'm trying really hard to work on myself. sometimes i still struggle a little with my thoughts but i've learned a lot of coping skills"

"i'm so proud of you" he said while giving me a smile that proved his words.

we pulled into the garage and louis helped me with my bags, and we walked through the door. i stopped in my tracks and inhaled, i missed the smell. i could see louis crack a small smile before continuing to walk into the living room and i followed behind him.

"harry!" zayn turned and exclaimed as he saw me and ran over to engulf me in a hug, starting a line of hugs from liam and niall

"i missed you guys so much" i said i was done hugging them with tears in my eyes

"we missed you too harry" niall said smiling "we're glad you're doing better"

i sighed internally, jumping back into this life would kill me and i can't do that. zayn and liam sat down on the couch while niall and louis stood by the kitchen table and i stood in the middle, no longer knowing my place in this house. i walked into the kitchen and sat down on the counter, playing with my sleeves. i'd become so accustomed to wearing short sleeves in the hospital that coming home and wearing a jumper to hide my scars from the paparazzi was so foreign.

louis placed his hands over mine, i was so engulfed in my own world i didn't notice he had come in. "hey" he said looking up at me "are you okay, really?"

i nodded "jumpers are different"

he chuckled "it's weird to hear you say that, they were all you would wear for awhile there"

i nodded again "we weren't allowed to wear them at the hospital, they said we had to become 'one with our scars' or whatever" i chuckled at how dumb that sounded but it worked, i felt so much less ashamed of them.

he nodded, he knew this, we talked about it when i first got admitted. i had such a hard time with it and he helped me feel better about it. "it worked though didn't it? you feel less ashamed of them now right love?"

i nodded "feels weird having to hide myself again." i shook my head "i mean i know my scars aren't who i am but i don't wanna hide"

"what are you saying, do you wanna tell the fans?"

i shrugged "they probably know somethings off right?"

he nodded "um they've got theories. only a few of them are actually accurate. the most popular one is that one of your extra nipples gave you cancer" he rolled his eyes and i laughed  "few people thought about mental health but a lot of people said you're too happy and successful" to which he again rolled his eyes

"when are we supposed to hop back into things? aren't they gonna wanna know where i was?"

he sighed "they want us to start interviews asap, they have one scheduled for tomorrow but you don't have to do it"

"i want to. this is our life right? gotta get back on that horse sooner or later"

"what are you gonna tell them"

"the truth i guess. it's gotta happen sooner or later"

"it doesn't if you don't want it to. it isn't their business"

i rubbed my face "we're celebrities" i shrugged "there's no such thing as personal business"

he nodded "i guess, you still don't have to tell them, i mean you just got out of the hospital angel."

"i know, i just think if i wait i'm not gonna have any courage to do it. maybe if i tell them it'll help me"

louis smiled at me and i gave him a quick smile back before i hopped off of the counter "i'm gonna go put my stuff away and then have a bath if you want to join me" i smiled as i walked away from louis