Together (Book 1)

Chapter 9

Virgil's POV

"Virgil, can you please just... give us some space?" Patton asked.  He and Logan had been comforting Thomas, Patton offering encouragement while Logan voiced facts that would make him feel batter.

But I was not helping, at least not in the eyes of everyone else.  Even if I left, though, I would still be there, in Thomas's head.  Nonetheless, I sank into the floor, popping up in my bedroom again.

Useless
Worthless
Helpless
Hopeless

The thoughts swirled in my head, but I shoved them down.

I am not doing this here.  I'll only make everything worse, just like always.

I wasn't anxious, not anymore.  I was just sad.  My chest hurt as I let out a silent sob, not wanting anyone to hear me.

Hours passed, and no one came to visit, thankfully.  I didn't want to see anyone—I didn't want anyone to see me, either.

Slowly, I stood up, the tears on my cheeks long since dried.  I grabbed some stuff out of my closet.  Sitting down at my desk, I watched as the paintbrush skimmed along the canvas.

———

I had just finished painting when a knock echoed through the room, knocking me out of my trance and making me jump.  I whirled toward the door.

"Who—Who is it?"

"It's Roman.  Patton asked me to come talk to you for a minute."

"I don't want to talk."  I stood up and began putting away the supplies.

I heard the doorknob wiggle.

"It's locked for a reason," I announced, picking up the canvas.  "Why do you even care?" My voice shook a lot.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Patton asked me to tell you that he's sorry.  He didn't even tell me what happened between the two of you..."  If he'd noticed, he hadn't shown it.

"He didn't say anything that Logan—and therefore Thomas—weren't already thinking," I whispered.  I awaited a response.

Finally, I heard a long sigh and a thud that shook the door.

I was instantly nervous, wanting to throw open the door and apologize to him, but I stopped myself.

After another minute of anxious silence, he spoke.  "You don't truly believe that, do you?"

"Please, just go.  I don't want to...  I don't want to talk to you..."  The words came out sharper than I intended, but there was nothing I could do about them now.

Another long sigh escaped his lips.  "I know that it's been weird since... since I did what I did, but I don't want it to be.  I care about you—a lot—and I just want us to be friends again."

"We were friends?"  The question—a question that made my heart flutter—sounded like a stab in his direction, slicing through the thick tension.

"I'd like to think we were..."

Any snarky response I could come up with stuck in my throat.  I could imagine his face, sad and thoughtful, while he rested his forehead against the door.  The vision in my head made my heart ache, but the sound of retreating footsteps snapped me from the thought.  I felt the canvas slip from my hand as I unlocked and opened the door.

I peaked my head out to see Roman talking to Patton, shaking his head.  Patton's eyes caught mine, and Roman turned, seeing his distraction.

"H—Hey, Patt?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"  His expression was a mix of fear and hope and joy.

"Can we talk?"  I gestured with my head toward my room.  I saw the hurt in Roman's face but tried to ignore it.  I raised my eyebrows in question, waiting for Patton's answer.

"Sure; let's talk."  He wore a small, friendly smile and stepped toward me, slipping into my room after me.  He sat on my bed while I quickly slipped the closet before Patt could get a good look at it.

Finally, I sat next to him.

"I'm sorry about what—"

"Stop," I said, cutting him off.  "You don't...  Don't be sorry.  You said what you said, and there's nothing you can do to change that now."  I took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself.  "I need your help with something."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"Ro—Roman... kissed me... a few days ago..."  My voice shook over his name, but I did my best to ignore it.

He sat on that idea for a minute, his expression changing repeatedly.  "And do you... return his feelings?"

Did I?  "I don't know...  When—When it happened, I—I—I shut it down, but... I don't know anymore, Patt.  You know all about emotions, so what do I do?"

Patton's POV

I could hear the tremor in Virgil, something that happened to him a lot more than he realized.

But I wasn't sure how to respond to him.  I didn't know too much about Roman; I'm not Roman.  "Kiddo," I said at last, "I'm not Thomas's romantic trait."

His expression dropped, though it seemed impossible for him to be any sadder.

"However," I continued, "I do know what I would want to hear if I were Roman."

His eyes widened in hope, and I smiled.

"I know how hard this sounds, but... I think that you should be honest with him."

"I—I can't, Patt."

I'd expected as much.  With a sigh, I came up with another idea, something that he might agree to.  "How about this: you two spend some time together—I noticed you guys were hanging out a lot—and then you can ease into that kind of relationship.  Does that sound a little better?"

Virgil took a shuddered breath.  "I don't know how... to ask him to hang out..." he admitted.

I couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness.  "You could watch a movie or play some games.  Just offer something.  Can you do me a favor, though?"

"Um, yeah...?"

"If he says no, please don't get too hurt about it, okay?  I know you'll jump to conclusions, but it's not always black and white."

Virge nodded.  "Thanks, Patt."  He hesitated for a minute before lifting his arms and wrapping me in a hug.

I grinned and hugged him back.