Irrecoverable Love (Marcus&Niomi)

Chapter 8

I fall in love the way you fall asleep, slowly, then all at once.
- John Green.

___

Niomi's POV

Today is the day I let go of my mum once and for all.

She's gone.

She's going to be buried 6 feet underground and it's all happening today. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

Cancer. Apparently she died because of cancer. Also she had cancer for months and was on stage 4. How did I not know she had cancer? How do I even deserve the title of a daughter? What daughter would not know their mum had cancer and was dying? A pathetic one. Me.

I don't have a mum.

As long as it took me to let it sink in, my wet cheeks had fresh new tears streaming down, replacing the old ones.

Did she wear a wig? She must've. How did I not realise my own mother was wearing a wig? I mean now thinking of it, her hair looked more like straw than strings if hair.

I saw the frown adorned on Jim's face and automatically realised he's hurting but appearing to have a masked emotion.

"Jim she's gone." I sobbed.

He came and hugged me. "Niomi is going to be okay. We'll be okay. At least we have each other, ey?" he attempted to lightened the mood.

I just let a strained forced smile paint it's way onto my lips but didn't utter a word. Mainly because I knew if I spoke a choked sob would accompany my words.

"What do we do?" I cried into his chest. he just squeezed me harder.

After minutes of silence flew by I finally had the courage to speak.

I sniffled. "Jim?" I asked

"Mhhm?" he hummed a response.

"Did you know about mum having..." I cleared my throat. "C-Cancer" I choked the last word out as if I'd catch a disease.

"I did. But please Niomi don't be mad I didn't tell yo-"

"You knew and you didn't have an ounce of decency to inform me that our mother had a deadly illness? Is it because she hated me? Is it because I'm a pathetic daughter?" I whispered the last one.

"No! Niomi. Your not. In fact she didn't want me to tell you because she knew you'd be heartbroken. She didn't want you to be worrying or fussing over her. She knew you wouldn't be able to handle it and of course she loved you. If anything she loved you the most. She told me not to tell you because your her 'Little princess' and she doesn't want to see you upset. Please Niomi don't be so negative and definitely don't be disheartened." He said. I hugged him tighter.

"Thank you Jim bob. I love you." I whispered in his chest.

"I'd hate to break this beautiful brother and sister moment, but the funeral is in half an hour we need to leave." I heard Tanya's soft voice call out.

I was already clad in a black dress that my mum adored ever so much.

Today was for her.

Today I will send her off in the church with tears for goodbyes.

*******

"I can't do it. No. No. No." I repeatedly whispered to myself barely audible.

"No. No. No." I hyperventilated more as I saw the coffin lower more.

"No! Stop she can't breathe in there! take her out! No. No. No. Stop it please. Stop! Stop." I tried escaping from Troyes arms with no luck. He hugged me tightly whispering comforting thing in my ear and kissing my forehead plenty of times.