Irrecoverable Love (Marcus&Niomi)

Chapter 17

Niomi’s POV

I sat there for minutes, gathering my thoughts. So, I got accepted in the best University in whole of Brighton and I felt really chuffed. All those restless nights of studying really paid off. I was proud of my A-Levels, all of them were pretty decent A’s. All that was left was university, I was going to study law and I was quite scared to be honest. My mum always wanted me to be a lawyer, fighting for the innocence. She made a promise with me when I was little, when I actually become a lawyer she was going to come to my first court debate and support me on. Now she’s…gone, I feel like the pressure is on. And I have to do it to make my mum proud and myself. I guess that was left now I had to go university. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Jim. He was the only family I know and he’ll be so far away. How will I cope? After everything will I be ready to be alone? I mean Zoe, Tans and Louie are so close to me. Practically family, but there’s big difference between brothers and friends.

 Whilst I was in my thoughts, Louise jumped next to me, on the sofa smiling. I slightly jumped, but returned the smile.

 “What’s wrong Niomi, you seem stressed?” She asked, putting her arm on my shoulder.

 “Just thinking” I replied faintly, “I don’t know if I can be away from Jim!” I sheepishly admitted, I am 21, but I guess I’m independent in other ways, but mentally and emotionally I need his support and I’m guessing he needs mine, because no matter how hard we’ve tried to hide to, deep down were both hurt.  

 “I understand, but right now don’t jump to decisions, you have a lot to think and consider so I suggest you breathe and talk to Jim.” She caringly said.

 “But, Zoe needs me and I have to think about university and I can’t just leave for a year-” I rambled on, but Louise stopped me.

 “I’m going to be here for Zoe, me and Tans will look after her don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll understand. Plus you can always take a gap year and start next year, in my opinion Jim really needs this break, you can’t always hold on, but you can go with him. You both really need a break.” She reassured me and smiled.

 “Thanks, for clearing up the mess in my head.” I said, hugging her.

 “You know Niomi, you need to go on a long walk to sort and freshen up your mind, then come back and think again” She said, handing me my coat. I smiled again and walked towards the door. As I looked back, Louise had her thumbs up and smiled at me. Sometimes I see her as motherly figure, because she’s a mother to Darcy, I feel like she’s taken care of me so much as well. She’s always there and has this extra caring touch that stands her out of everyone.

 As I was walking I was thinking where to go, I wanted to go the beach, but it’s too far away, and when I do arrive it’ll probably be dark, then I was thinking about the park, but let’s not risk my life again, so I settled with the graveyard, it’s been ages since I’ve been to see my mum so I’ll just go. On the way I bought some White roses, her favourite and made my way toward the graveyard. Ad I entered, I felt this weird, lonely feeling around me! It was the second time I was visiting her.

 Her pale face and skeletal arms kept coming in my brain, blurring my vision, until heavy tears were cascading. I remember her in her black velvet dress and peaceful face. Who knew how long she was suffering for? All by herself! Keeping it all in.

 She was a strong woman and I’ve always admired her. After my dad left, she always used to teach me not to depend on any man. Always be that brave person you are, but sometimes I’ve always desired her love and care. After she was left by dad, all by herself, we all grew apart and she stopped caring. But now I’m glad I’m here with her. I sometimes feel guilty. Was I such a bad daughter that she didn’t share anything with me? But I can’t ask her. She’s gone. Forever.