Hope and Faith

TWENTY-SEVEN: FAITH

Faith had been in better spirits lately. Things had gone well at father's place, she hadn't had a fight with her mother in over five days, and she was even sort of looking forward to this dance that Hope was so keen on attending.

She had been experimenting with her new camera, pointing it at different objects and observing them through the lens. The roll of film that her father had put in held twenty-four photos, and she wanted to use them wisely. She didn't know when she'd be able to buy film again.

At first she wandered around her house, squinting through the viewfinder and focusing the lens on whatever she could find. But the light in the house was too dim. She needed to move outdoors. There, she walked around the backyard, bending down towards flowers and standing on tippy-toes to see past the fence. Everything looked mosaic through the camera lens.

She was still trying to work out the aperture and the shutter speed. Her father had gone over it with her only twice, and she feared that she would press the wrong button, or turn the focus the wrong way and mess up the entire shot. For now, she decided to only view, not shoot.

On Tuesday after camp, she came home, made some food, then called Sebastian. The two hadn't spoken since Friday morning and she was beginning to feel the longing for him that she often did when they were apart.

"How are you?" he asked her.
"I'm fine, how are you?"
"Pretty good."
"What's new? What have you been up to?" She leaned against the wall, twisting the cord around her fingers.
"Not much. Just working. Hanging out with the boys. The usual."
"How's the family?"
"Everyone's good here. How was your weekend? And your dad's?"
"It was good," Faith said for what felt like the hundredth time. "Are you still coming up tomorrow night?"
It was quiet for a moment, then he muttered, "Shit."
"Let me guess," Faith said, her heart sinking in her chest. "You can't."
"I'm so sorry. I totally forgot and I told my boss I'd stay late tomorrow night."
"Alright," Faith said, deadpan.
"Don't be mad."
"I'm not."
"I'll come up this weekend."
"Can't," Faith said. "I'm busy."
"Doing what?"
"Going to a thing."
"Okay... When can I see you then?"
"You tell me."
"Listen, I'll call you back later, okay? Don't be mad. I love you."
"Whatever. Goodbye Sebastian."
"Goodbye Faith Marie."
She hung up the phone.

Faith could feel the constraints already beginning on their relationship. She knew it would be difficult maintaining a long-distance relationship, but she didn't think they'd be feeling the effects this soon. It had only been a month! And already they were forgetting to phone each other, cancelling scheduled plans.

She was so used to having Sebastian there twenty-four-seven. He was the one she came home to and told about her day. She told him her problems, how she was feeling. And he was always there to listen and hold her when she needed him.

But that was no longer the case anymore. They were apart. They were drifting farther and farther each day. Yet somehow, Faith was okay. She was still standing. She was surviving. No, she was doing more than surviving. She was thriving.

As crazy as it sounded, Faith was doing okay without him. And that worried her.

She put away her dishes, then packed her bag and headed out to take more photographs. It became therapeutic for her. Something she could do by herself, unaffected by anyone's thoughts or opinions.

She walked through the town, pointing her camera at everything she could see. Her favourite spot was down by the lake, where she remained looking through the viewfinder for what felt like hours, simply taking in the scene that was ahead of her.