The Other Side - A Newt Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty One: Beautifully Broken

"Alright, so curfew started hours ago." Gally explains. "They've upped the security around the city due to your arrival just outside the walls, so we need to be quick and remain hidden. If we get caught-"
"We're shucked." I finish for Gally, one hand on my hip as I look down the sewage hole.
Sighing softly, Gally nods.
"Got it." I mumble, pulling the clean, cream colored hoodie over my head that Gally had given me. "Quick and hidden."
"Are you sure that we won't be found while we are hiding away in your supposedly abandoned shelter, hermano?" Jorge asks.
"We've had it secured for three months now. I think we'll be alright."
"It took us six months of planning to save Minho the first time, and we still failed. Time doesn't mean anything." Brenda says, arms folded.
Gally averts his eyes to her. "You can trust me on this one. Alright?"
Thomas, adjusting his pack, takes a deep breath. "Alright, Gally." He mutters hesitantly. "We're following you."
Gally nods, tossing the hood of his grey hoodie over his head before swiftly sliding down the ladder.
Thomas, gesturing towards the entrance, looks to Brenda and Jorge. "You two, go next."
Nodding as a small smirk tugs on her lips, Brenda quickly climbs down after Gally, Jorge following behind.
"Fry, (y/n)." Thomas looks to us.
Newt gently rests his hand on the small of my back. "I'll be right behind you." He whispers reassuringly, just like when we had to go across the zip line when escaping from Jorge's hideout.
Frypan quickly climbs into the sewer, and I follow behind.
Jumping down to the ground, filthy water splashing onto my legs, I cringe, stepping out of the way as Newt hops down onto the sewage floor behind me.
"Ewgh." I hear Newt mutter in the dark. "It's still gross."
Thomas, before he climbs down the ladder, pulls the metal door over the entrance and then slides down.
"Alright, everyone," Gally says, turning on his flashlight, "follow me." We that, he treads through the water down the tunnel, turning the corner.
Exchanging a hesitant glance with Newt as he turns on his own flashlight, I take a deep breath before following after the group.
The filthy water slushes with each step we take, and the stirring from our feet seems to make the stench worse, causing me to scrunch up my nose in disgust.
As we follow Gally around the left turn, he stops in his tracks and grasps onto a switch in the wall, turning on a long string of lights along the left side of the tunnel, illuminating the sewers and unveiling the small stream of sewage water that we're standing in. "There we go." He says, standing tall as he turns off his flashlight and struts down the corridor. "This way." He calls back to us, not looking over his shoulder.
Newt turns off his flashlight and puts it in his satchel.
"How long is this stretch?" I ask as we follow behind Gally.
"About a ten minute walk." He says. "We enter into a railway at the other end, just to warn you." He says. "Luckily, this time, the railway won't be active."
I distort my face in confusion. "'This time'?" I repeat. "What the shuck do you mean by 'this time'?"
"When we got out on the other end of the tunnel and began to make our way along the tracks, a train illuminated the path from in front us, and we were forced to run for our lives." Thomas mutters from the back of the group. "Thanks to Gally's perfect timing."
"You are alive and well right now, so I don't see why you're complaining, Greenie." Gally calls back from the front. "Besides, I don't hear Newt complaining, and he's the one with the bad leg."
I don't have to look back at Thomas to know that he is rolling his eyes.
• • •
The minutes felt longer due to the tension radiating off of Thomas, but, luckily, we arrive to the ladder at the other end of the sewer.
"Thomas, take the front. I've got to shut off the lights." Gally orders.
Clearly frustrated, Thomas treads through the filthy water to the front of the group and climbs up the ladder, pushing off the metal cover above his head and revealing the dimly lit tunnel of the train before climbing out. Brenda and Jorge follow behind.
Gally, walking to the left wall, pulls down the lever with a grunt, the string off lights shutting off and leaving us in the pitch black dark, excluding the faint, blue light from above.
I climb up the ladder after Fry, and Newt follows behind me.
Once Gally is out, he slides the metal circle back over the sewage hole, standing tall and dusting off his hands before strutting off down the tunnel without a word.
The group slowly makes their way down the subway tunnel, cautiously walking along the rails.
• • •
After about fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes, the tunnel opens up to the room where people can board.
"It's funny how much faster we got here the first time because we were running for our bloody lives." Newt manages to chuckle.
The walls in the room are aligned with screens that display various informational ads such as 'Know of an Infected? Call WICKED Offices and Make a Report' and 'Remember the Signs: Headaches, Ill-Temperament, Darkening Veins, Cannibalism'.
I can't help but laugh as I read the screens. "Headaches and cannibalism. Those have quite a gap between them."
"Good that." Fry nods in a soft voice, examining the screens in somewhat disbelief as we step up off of the railway and onto the boarding platform.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Newt fidget slightly.
Furrowing my brows, I give him a concerned glance, and he shifts his eyes to mine, forcing a weak smile.
He must be thinking about my bite, or could there be something else I should be worried about?
Brenda looks to Jorge. "You hear that? Those are the signs of Cranking-out, so you can check me for those instead of looking at my bite each day." She says in a snark, though kind, tone.
Gally, lifting a brow, looks back at Brenda as he leads us along the platform. "You were bit, too?"
She nods. "No need to freak out. I haven't shown signs in a long time."
Thomas nods, pursing his lips together. "She's telling the truth." He tells Gally.
Shifting his eyes to Thomas, the tall boy nods before turning ahead and stepping back down onto the railway as the tunnel narrows down again, leaving the boarding area and leading us through the dark corridor.
As we follow behind, Gally guides us to a door along the concrete wall of the dimly lit subway tunnel labeled 'Staff Only'. "Alright, now is the time to speak as little as possible. Got it?" He whispers.
We all nod.
"Silence is safety." I say softly, sending a pang of pain through my heart as I think of Aris. I can only imagine how he, Sonya, and Harriet felt when they woke up this morning to see that I'm gone.
Gally nods. "Good that." He whispers, and, with that, he slowly opens the door, peeking inside before stepping through.
We file in behind, entering a stairway that is illuminated by a single, flickering light, and we quickly rush up the flight, doing our best to take quiet steps on the steel stairs.
Stopping us at the next door, Gally peers out through the doorway as he slowly opens it. "Stay along the wall." He whispers before stepping through.
Following behind, I walk out into the vast, concrete building, resembling the bottom level of a parking garage, but, by the screens lining the upper walls around us and the various entrances and exits aligning the side walls, I can tell that people are the only thing that come through here.
Standing close to the left, Gally rushes alongside the wall, running along the long stretch of the building before stopping just before we reach the end of room, where the building opens up to the city.
"Alright, everyone." Gally whispers. "Lay low. Run swiftly. Stay hidden." He orders before running out into the open, looking back and forth as he rushes across the road.
Without hesitation, I sprint after with as light of steps as I can take, but I slow down to a stop as my jaw drops at my surroundings.
The towering buildings glimmer around us, countless windows illuminated from lights inside the rooms. The streets are glowing in a bluish tint from the pale streetlamps, and massive screens take up the center portion of different buildings, creating such intense light pollution that it is impossible to see a single star in the night sky.
"(y/n)!" Newt whispers in an urgent tone as he rushes past, grasping my arm and yanking me behind. "Gally said stay hidden, not stand out in the middle of the bloody streets!"
"Sorry! This is just so much different than, both, the Maze and the Scorch!"
"Shh!" Newt whispers, though laughing lightly as he pulls me behind the next building with the others.
"Sorry!" I whisper, clasping my bandaged hand over my mouth as I snicker.
Gally looks around the corner of the building before waving us over and turning the corner.
Running behind the others, I follow them out onto the next street, Gally slowing to a jog down the center of the road.
Brenda, looking up at a sign on the building directly beside us as we make our way down the street, scoffs. "They act like they're doing work for the greater good," she mutters, shaking her head, "but they are only doing what they can to save themselves."
I look up at the screen to see what she was talking about, reading the white text on the bright blue background: "'WICKED wants you'?" I roll my eyes. "This entire city screams propaganda and brainwashing."
"You've got that right." Gally mumbles as he makes a sudden left turn, the rest of us doing our best to keep up.
As we make our way down the block, Gally suddenly stops in his tracks, putting his arms out to make us do the same. "Wait, wait..." He whispers, scowling as he listens to the sounds of the city.
As we all fall completely silent, holding our breath, the faint sound of sirens can be heard in the distance.
His face falls. "Get to the left!" Gally orders.
Without a moment of hesitation, I sprint to the building to our left, slamming my back against the glass wall, the others doing the same, panting heavily as we struggle to keep quiet while the adrenaline rises in suspense.
The sound of sirens can still be heard in the distance, but the volume increases as it approaches us at a rapid pace. Within seconds, a black vehicle with bright red siren lights zooms into view, passing us as it heads down the road we were approaching.
"Holy shucking klunk..." I whisper breathlessly, watching it with wide eyes.
Once it drives out of sight, and the alarms begin to fade in the distance, Gally looks towards the group pressed up against the wall. "Told you. Security is up because of you shanks." He mutters, a slightly cocky tone cloaked within his voice. "Now, come on." He says before sprinting across the street the car had just driven past on.
• • •
Panting heavily from all of the running and adrenaline and several close-calls with nearly being caught by the security patrolling the streets, Gally runs to a building that, although it is tall, is much shorter in size when compared to the towers of the city. As I slow to a stop, I put my hands behind my head, doing my best to fill my lungs with as much oxygen as possible, and I crease my eyebrows together as I examine the abandoned brick building, all of the doors and windows boarded up. "How the shuck do we get in?" I ask, exasperated.
"This way." Gally says, jogging to the alleyway to the side.
Groaning in exhaustion, I rush after the boy, following him into the dark alley with the others.
He stops in his tracks, turning towards the side wall, staring at the various steel balconies on the side of the building. He runs to the wall, jumping into the air and pushing off of the brick with his foot, grasping onto the bottom of a ladder and using his weight to slide it down to the ground. Its rusty metal creaks loudly, hitting the ground with a loud crash, and Gally hops to the concrete, gesturing to the ladder. "Start climbing."
"Good job, hermano." Jorge mutters, lifting a brow. "You've woke the entire city."
"That gives you more of a reason to hurry." Gally says in a snark tone. "Now, go." He orders in a low voice, nodding towards the ladder as he folds his arms.
Without hesitation, I run to the ladder and climb up as fast as I can, climbing onto the first balcony.
"Keep going until you're on the roof!" Gally calls up in a whisper.
I nod down at him before scrambling up the next ladder, passing the boarded windows on the way up.
I hear Gally ushering the others behind urgently before stepping up the bottom ladder last.
By the third level, I reach the last ladder, climbing up and hopping onto the roof. I turn and look over the ledge to see Brenda climbing onto the roof after me, the others following behind as Gally pulls the bottom ladder back up onto the first balcony so that no one can follow us.
As he begins to climb to the second balcony, a flash of light glimmers in the distance, causing all of us to look in the direction of a Berg flying over the city, scanning the ground with it's bright beams. It's heading in our direction.
My eyes widen. "Shuck..." I rush to the ladder and offer Newt my hand after Jorge steps up onto the roof, pulling Newt up frantically. "The Berg's coming this way! Hurry!" I whisper anxiously, reaching down to Fry and pulling him up as he climbs onto the concrete of the roof.
Gally, finally scrambling onto the roof after Thomas, rushes past us and towards a door on the center of the concrete ground. "Here's how we get in." He crouches down and pushes down on it, but his face falls.
"What? What's wrong?" Newt asks nervously as we circle around the door.
"It's jammed." Gally grunts as he hits the door.
"It's what?!?" Thomas snaps. "You mean to tell us that you brought us all the way out here only to not be able to get inside!"
"Oh, just shut it, shank." Gally retorts flatly, pounding his fists on the metal door, but it doesn't budge.
"No! I'm not going to shut it, Gally! You brought us out here, and now a shucking Berg is going to catch us!" Thomas exclaims.
As the two bicker, I watch the approaching Berg with wide eyes. "Uh...guys?"
"Now is really not the time to be bloody aruing, you two." Newt attempts to intervene, rubbing his temple.
"I didn't think we would have this problem!" Gally says defensively.
"When do you ever think, Gally?!" Thomas snaps, aggravated.
"Guys?" I call, looking back at them over my shoulder.
"Says you, Greenbean!"
"He's got a point..." Brenda adds.
"Thank you!" Gally exclaims.
"But you also said you knew what you were doing, hermano."
"I do!"
"Do you really, Gally?! Do you really?!" Thomas snaps.
"Hey, shuck-face! If it weren't for me, you'd all be dead by now-"
"GUYS!" I scream, stomping my foot, causing them all to instantly fall silent, darting their eyes to me. "Stop screaming at each other and get that door open before I push you off the shucking roof! I swear on all that is good to you, I am losing my patience with you shucking slintheaded klunk-for-brained shanks!" I shout angrily. "So get the shucking door open!"
That obviously puts them in their place because, shockingly, Thomas helps Gally push against the door, and the others stare at me in awe-filled respect, Newt gaping.
I turn back around, the Berg scanning the block just in front of us now. "It's almost here! Hurry!" I call, turning on my heels and running to the group.
"Wait, I got an idea! Everyone step back!" Gally orders, and we all do as he says.
He stands up, and, without a second more, he suddenly jumps onto the door in the ground, causing it to jolt slightly. "Yes!" He exclaims, jumping on the floor door again with as much force as he can.
Looking over my shoulder, I watch the Berg now hovering over the road, the light beams touching the edge of the building that we're on.
"Tommy, help him out!" Newt shouts as he stares at the Berg, too.
I watch Gally jump on the metal door again, grunting angrily.
Averting his eyes from the aircraft to Gally, Thomas quickly waves him away slightly. "Step to the side a bit!" He orders as he steps onto the door with the tall boy. "Alright, ready?"
Gally nods.
"One, two, three!" Thomas shouts.
Perfectly in sync, the two jump as high as they can and land onto the door with all of the power they have, and, suddenly, the door beneath them swings open, and the two fall through with a panicked shout.
"Thomas!" Brenda exclaims, leaning over the edge as they disappear into the building.
"There's no time to check on them, just jump!" Jorge shouts, jumping into the opening, disappearing into the darkness. Brenda, taking a deep breath and darting her eyes at the Berg that is now nearly directly above us, the beams only a few yards away, jumps into the opening with a yell.
Fry jumps in afterward, and, Newt, grabbing my hand, shouts, "JUMP!" before hopping into the darkness below, pulling me behind.
I yelp as my body leaves the ground and falls for a split second before colliding into someone, and the two of us hit the floor below with a loud thud, sending a burst of pain through my body from the impact. "Awe, shuck..." I grunt, sitting up as my eyes attempt to adjust to the darkness.
Someone groans in pain from beneath me. "Okay, maybe pulling you with me was not the brightest bloody idea..." Newt chuckles weakly.
"Oh, shuck, I'm sorry!" I exclaim, scrambling off of him and getting to my feet, offering him my hand.
Chuckling weakly, I feel his hand grasp mine tightly, and I pull him upright.
"Get off of me, Greenbean!" I hear Gally shout, followed by the sound of frantic scurrying about.
"Yeah, buy him dinner first!" Brenda shouts from somewhere in the dark, laughing, and Fry's snickering joins in as Jorge chuckles.
Thomas stutters in offense. "It- It's not like I wanted to fall onto him!"
I can here Newt giggling childishly with the others, and I can't help but join in.
After a few moments, I hear Gally jump up and slam the door in the ceiling shut. There's the sound of stumbling about before he exclaims, "There it is!"
Suddenly, the room illuminates a dim golden color from string lights lining the walls, unveiling a grand staircase that leads to the bottom two levels. We landed a mere ten feet away from where the stairs start.
"Shuck." I mutter, folding my arms. "If one of us tumbled any further, someone would have went toppling down the stairs."
"But no one did, so there's no reason to complain." Gally says, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pockets and striding down the stairs.
We follow behind him down the flight, and I examine our surroundings curiously. Supplies, weapons, wracks of clothes, bookshelves full of novels and maps, doors lining the walls to other rooms, and so on.
"How come WICKED has never bothered to check out this abandoned shelter all this time?" I ask curiously.
"Because WICKED is the one that boarded up this building in the first place." Gally explains as he steps down onto the bottom floor, turning to face us and walking backwards. "This old building is spacious and has tons of rooms because special Immunes lived here."
Frowning in puzzlement, Newt asks, "What do you mean by 'special Immunes'?"
"Back before the city walls were built, there was a place known as Crank Palace."
"Crank Palace?" Thomas asks.
Jorge speaks up. "That was the place they would lock Cranks up to keep them away from the city, hermano."
Gally nods. "Exactly, and you cannot have just anyone keep them locked up and guard it's perimeters. You need people who won't get sick, so WICKED had Immunes assigned to work at the 'Palace'. Half worked in the day, half worked through the night, and, to make up for all of the violence that they had to face from the creatures each day, the Immunes got to come here to wash up, eat, and sleep, but, of course, the Crank count got too overwhelming, and now WICKED's got their wall." He scoffs. "As soon as they closed down Crank Palace, they emptied this building out and boarded it up, intending to use it as a reminder that the ratio of the sick to the healthy continues to climb. We then broke into the city, found this place, and built up a hideout here." He smirks proudly. "Now, let me show you around."
• • •
Peeling off my hoodie and setting it on the back of one of the wooden chairs surrounding a small, circular table centered in the main room of the bottom level, I adjust my tank top as I take a seat, switching on the lamp on the center of the table, it flickering an orange color.
In perfect timing, the lights along the walls are shut off as Gally had told us he'd have to do, unveiling the few lamps and lights scattered about the building that dimly light up small areas of the old shelter.
Sighing softly as he slides off his maroon coat and tosses it onto the back of a chair, adjusting the sleeves of his white long-sleeve shirt, Newt quietly takes a seat in the chair across from me. "Hey." He smiles warmly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a roll of clean bandaging. "Let's change the wrapping, yeah?"
Frowning slightly, I nod, quietly extending my left arm out on the table, palm up.
Adjusting the lamp so that the light is directly on my hand, he gently take my wounded hand into both of his. "Ready?"
Clenching my jaw, I anxiously nod.
Newt smiles reassuringly before calmly unwrapping the blood-stained bandaging, causing me to wince in pain slightly. He freezes, lifting his eyes to me questioningly.
"I'm fine..." I mumble reassuringly.
Hesitantly nodding, he returns to removing the bandaging.
When he gets to the last few rounds of the wrapping, I turn my head away, unable to bring myself to look at the wound, and, once the end of the bandaging is removed, Newt gently grasps my hand with both of his, examine my palm in silence.
I force myself to turn my head and look at Newt's eyes to watch his reaction.
He stares at the bite with an unreadable expression, and my heart begins to race anxiously.
"Luckily, the bleeding stopped, which is good, and, by the looks of it, there's no sign of infection." He says softly, brows drawn together as he holds my hand to the lamp.
Averting my eyes to my left hand, I sigh shakily in relief, seeing the red, scabbing bite mark in my flesh, and the veins in my hand remain unseen under my skin.
Newt, a small smile of hope tugging on his lips, shifts his doe eyes to mine. "You're alright at the moment, which is a good start." He says, grasping the clean bandaging with his left hand as his right still holds mine, and he unravels the white wrapping. "Let's get this patched up." He whispers kindly as he begins to gently wrap my hand.
Biting my lip as I watch his hands work on the bandaging, I hesitantly mumble, "Newt?"
"Hm?" He lifts a brow as he works.
"There's, uh... There's something I've been hiding from you." I say in a weak voice. "Well, not necessarily hiding, just...avoiding to tell you."
He shifts his eyes back to me to show that he's listening.
"There's a reason I struggle with the concept of..." my voice trails off as I purse my lips together.
He furrows his brows, pausing in the middle of wrapping my hand. "The concept of what, (y/n)?" He asks softly.
"Of people's lives getting cut short. Needing to be cut short. Like with Winston." I clarify. "I, uh... We handled things differently when someone got stung in our Maze... You see, I didn't like the concept of banishing people from the Heart because it is a horrific punishment, so we only used it if someone broke the most important rules of the Heart. Of course, people didn't break the rules that would result in that, so we were lucky enough to banish very few all of the years we were stuck in the Maze." I explain as Newt finishes the wrapping, and I pull my hand away, rubbing my wounded palm and examining the clean bandaging. "Besides, it's not like the girls could control what they did after a Griever stung them..." I lick my lips anxiously.
Newt, frowning in concern, leans against the table on his elbows, listening intently.
"I didn't want them to suffer, you know? I didn't want them to be in pain." I say quickly, fidgeting as my throat begins to burn as I fight back tears. "So the routine was that, if someone went crazy, we'd lock them up until our Medics could confirm that they were stung. I didn't want to risk hurting someone who had hope, you know? Then, once it was confirmed, Harriet was in charge of getting ahold of the girl, and Susan, the second in command, would bring binding. My job was to have the...the spear..." I choke out, looking Newt in the eyes as he stares back at me. "There was a tree with a wide trunk towards the back corner of the Woods, so we'd take the crazed girl there, and Susan and Harriet would tie the girl to the trunk... Then, I'd make Harriet and Susan leave because the last thing I wanted for them was to watch their friends die..." I close my eyes as a single tear rolls down my cheek, forcing myself to sit taller, to remain strong in stature. "Of course, it took a few incidents for me to learn that, once someone is stung, there is no hope for them, so, the first few times, I would sit in front of them in the grass and talk to them for hours, waiting for them to overcome it. To get better... But they never did." I inhale deeply, breath trembling. "So, eventually, it just came down to letting them say their last words, and then..." my breathing begins to increase in pace as I think back to every time a girl was stung, "then I would plunge the spear into their chest...put them out of their misery..." A few more tears fall.
Newt leans closer, reaching for my hand, but I don't take his. "(y/n)..." He whispers softly.
"It never got easier." I sniffle, wiping my eyes. "Killing people, that is..." Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I clear my throat. "I couldn't bear to look at the blood-stained wooden spear, so Harriet would dispose of it, and then carve me a new one for the next time around..." I lift my eyes to Newt's again. "The hardest one was the last girl to be stung..." Her name alone feels like a spear being plunged into my own heart. "Annie..."
"Good morning, sunshine!" The same, upbeat voice exclaims from behind me as I wait outside the closed doors, arms folded as I tap my foot in the tall grass.
Turning to look over my shoulder, I watch Annie, her red, curly hair pulled back into a ponytail, bouncing about as she jogs to me with upmost energy.
"It's morning. Which makes it not good." I mutter tiredly, yawning as I turn back around to face the doors.
"Oh, come on, another day alive is a good one!" She exclaims, her freckle-covered face lit up as she hops beside me, looking to the doors and taking a deep breath.
"You know," I begin, adjusting the straps of my Mapper's pack, "I don't understand how you can be so excited to run out there everyday. Especially after having done so for nearly three years now."
"Everyday is one day closer to our escape." She says confidently. "And I'm sure I'm going to be the one to find the exit."
I look to her, chuckling softly. "Would you mind finding it sooner rather than later?"
"Eh," she shrugs, "I enjoy seeing your bedhead every morning as you drag yourself out to work. I might hold up on finding the way out until year four." She jokes. "Preferably shooting for an even number."
"And if you don't find it year four?" I ask, lifting a brow.
She looks to me with a wide grin. "Guess you'll have to patiently wait for year six."
I roll my eyes as I laugh, averting my eyes to the doors ahead.
She does the same, taking a deep breath. "Besides, even if it did take six years, I know you'd take care of us girls just fine the whole time." She says genuinely.
I feel a small smile tug on the corner of my lips. "Thanks, Annie..."
I see her nod in my peripherals.
As the ground suddenly begins to shake, the loud whirring sounds roaring as the towering stone doors begin to slide open, I quickly turn around to scan the Heart, watching Harriet and Sonya high-fiving before running through the West doors together as soon as there is enough room to squeeze through. I then shift my eyes to the South door, watching Claire put a full water in Sam's pack before they run out into the corridor with Maya following behind. I barely get a glance of Grace, Mira, and Simone before they disappear through the East doors. The roaring comes to a stop as all four doorways are completely opened.
"Hey, Miss Leader, you're already slacking." I hear Annie tease from behind me, leaning against the opened North doors with her arms folded.
Rolling my eyes with a laugh, I jog past her into the Maze.
Annie, quickly rushing after me, exclaims, "Race you back here!" With that, she suddenly sprints past me down the corridor.
"Annie!" I call, "The routes are not to be races! You need to-"
"Take my time and memorize, I know!" She calls back. "I'll see you at dinner, loser!" She shouts before turning left.
Smiling as I roll my eyes with a light laugh, I jog to the end of the corridor, turning right to go my own route.
"She's the reason we even got out of the Maze, honestly..."
Furrowing his brows together, Newt asks, "How so?"
"She told me to get the girls out of the Maze...with her last words..." I choke out. "If she hadn't of done that, I definitely would have said the risk of escaping through the Griever's home was not worth it when Harriet, Sonya, and Rachel had found the escape..." I explain, letting out a long, heavy sigh as I fidget with my hands.
Newt and I sit in silence for a painful stretch of time.
Looking the boy dead in the eyes, I blink back the rest of my tears. "I have a lot of blood on my hands, Newt..." I whisper as sternly as possible. "I'm not a good person... I'm the farthest thing from it..."
Pursing his lips together and shifting his eyes just past me, deep in thought, Newt takes a deep breath in, suddenly standing up and stepping towards me, offering me his hand. "Come on."
Puzzled, I look up at Newt. "What?"
"Come with me." He says gently.
Hesitant, I grasp his hand, and, squeezing my right hand gently, Newt pulls me to my feet, limping towards the stairs and guiding me up the flight.
He leads me to the top level, turning and walking with me along the railing, heading towards the front end of the building. "Gally, (y/n) and I are going to the front balcony!" He calls.
I hear an exasperated sigh follow. "Alright!" He calls back from below. "Don't be out their too long. We don't need to get caught by security."
"Good that!" Newt calls, walking me to the doors that lead out to the front balcony. He lets go of my hand to turn the handles, yanking the doors open with a grunt to reveal the planks that are nailed to the doorway, the sharp ends of nails sticking out the center of the wooden boards where they had been nailed to the doors themselves in attempt to barricade the entrance. Crouching under the boards that block the doorway itself, Newt steps out onto the balcony. He stands upright and turns back to me once he's on the other side. "Come on."
Biting my lip, I carefully crouch under the wooden planks before walking to Newt, standing beside him as he leans on his arms against the railing, looking out into the city.
Staring out into the towering buildings, I silently watch the screens change and display various ads for WICKED, then averting my eyes to the Bergs scanning the ground far in the distance. If this weren't the fortress of our enemies, this city would be quite beautiful.
"You know, I'm not a good person, either." Newt says softly, breaking the silence.
I look at him as he turns his head to me, giving him a puzzled look.
He smiles slightly with a weak laugh. "You're not the only person that's done some stuff that bloody breaks you." He looks back out into the city, the blue lights making his big, brown eyes glisten. "I was the second boy that came up in the Box. Just a scared Greenie with one boy to pull him out into the Glade." He looks down at his hands, fidgeting a little before rubbing his right arm. "Although all my memories were gone, I could still feel..." he pauses, clenching his fist as his face distorts in a look similar to disgust, "like something was missing... You know?" He glances at me, grasping the railing as he stands taller, licking his lips before looking down at the road below. "Even as the other boys started coming up, Gally, Minho, Fry... I couldn't shake off that feeling... It was like staring at a puzzle with a single piece missing, and it was killing me that I couldn't do anything about it." He lifts his eyes to the screens on the towers above. "I felt trapped... Like the real me was locked away somewhere in my head, and, to make matters worse, when we had enough boys to divide up jobs rather than juggle them around, I got stuck in a routine... It was the same thing over and over and over again..." He mutters, sighing heavily as he stares ahead as if peering into his soul. "I was Runner, (y/n). I ran the Maze everyday with a few other boys, and everyday I returned with no answers on how to get out of the bloody prison. I got depressed; it got harder to get out of my hammock in the mornings... I mean, it got to the point that I was wearing brown cloths on my wrists to hide the damage I was doing to myself." He scoffs softly at the thought, breaking his deep stare to look down at his hands again. He turns towards me slightly, slowly rolling back the left sleeve of his white shirt, showing me his wrist.
I purse my lips together, heart breaking for the boy as I trail my eyes along his wrist. The pale, blue lights of the city illuminating Newt's light skin, I can make out very faint, subtle marks of slight discoloration in his skin, clearly faded scars. I take his left hand into both of mine, pulling his arm closer to me and brushing my right thumb over the skin of his wrist gently. Biting my lip, I feel my throat begin to burn, fighting back the tears that are desperate to swell up in my eyes.
Newt manages to smile weakly, eventually pulling his arm away to roll his sleeve back down. "Then, one morning, I got up earlier than the other Runners, and I waited for the Doors to open." He explains softly before shifting his left hand to his right arm, rubbing it again. "As soon as they did, I ran into the stone corridors, and I went and I found the tallest wall I could..." He looks up, as if he can see the vine-covered Maze walls standing before him. "And I climbed up there, and..." he pauses, struggling to get the words out, "I jumped off it..."
A strange sensation pangs against my heart. Yes, obviously, pain, but there is something else there. Something about Newt's story triggered an itch in my brain, and I feel something in my heart that I cannot explain. That I cannot name.
That explains everything. That's why Newt said being 'okay' is the biggest lie of all. That's why he said he was never a fan of heights. That's why he said that no one is as numb to death as he is.
I stare at Newt, watching the muscles in his neck tense up.
Looking at his hands as he fumbles with them, he forces a soft chuckle. "Of course, I got tangled up in all of the ivy... Broke my leg in three different places..." He says, patting his limp leg. "And I hit the ground hard... I thought that was it..." He mumbles, nearly inaudible. He takes a deep breath, looking at me as a weak smile tugs on one end of his lips. "Then, Minho found me, and he picked me up, and he took me back to the Glade... And we never told anyone the truth about that day." He whispers before standing upright and clearing his throat.
Minho. That explains why he was so anxious with Newt at the ledge in Jorge's old hideout and why he was so quick to offering to talk with me when we were broken over Winston's death. He had been there for someone before. He had to be there for Newt.
"Of course, I'm sure I'll fess up to Tommy, too, anytime now, but I figured I should tell you first." He stares into my eyes for a few moments, but he eventually breaks eye contact, turning around to lean his back against the railing, folding his arms.
"Why... Why did you tell me this?" I ask, heart deeply aching and brain struggling to shake off the strange, foreign itch within itself.
"Because you told me the dark truth about yourself, and I figured I should do the same." He smiles warmly at me. "Look, my point is that the past does not define you. What matters is who we are now, and what we do right now. Sure, you've got blood on your hands, but I've got blood on mine, too. Just because your broken does not mean you fail to be a beautiful individual. A shattered mosaic is still a work of art."
My face goes hot with blush, and I stare into Newt's doe eyes, heart thumping against my chest. He just admitted to something absolutely tragic, and yet he still manages to console me. "Newt, I-"
"Shh, just... Just shh." Newt chuckles softly, turning to face me and gently bringing his right hand up to brush my hair behind my ear. He rests his hand on my cheek, staring me in the eyes.
We stand still, frozen in time as our eyes remain locked onto one another's.
However, he breaks the eye contact, averting his eyes to my lips.
I gulp, looking down at Newt's lips, heart skipping a beat.
In this moment of time, we are two beautifully broken individuals, our dark, shattered truths finally exposed to light brighter than the sun itself, perfectly vulnerable to ourselves, and, unveiling who we truly are to the world, our broken pieces mend together. To one another.
As if by natural instinct, we both close our eyes and lean in, lips inching closer and closer together. They're only a mere inch apart, and-
"Hey!" Gally's voice shouts from inside the shelter, causing Newt and I to jolt with a start, pulling away instantly before anything could happen. "You two have been out there for too long. Come on inside before the Bergs come back!"
Biting my lip as I look back at Newt, he rolls his eyes, groaning. "Great bloody timing..." He mutters, scratching the back of his head.
I manage to laugh quietly to myself, causing Newt to smile with a heavily sigh.
"Well, you heard him. We've got to go inside..." Newt whispers, resting his hand on the small of my back and following me underneath the boards and into the building.
Turning around, he closes the doors back up before suddenly wincing in pain, grasping his right arm tightly.
My eyes widen slightly, and I rush to Newt's side, gripping onto his upper arm. "What's wrong?"  I ask. "Newt, what's going on with your right arm?"
Rubbing his arm, he shakes his head. "It's nothing..."
"Newt, it's obviously something. What is wrong-"
"Nothing is wrong, (y/n)!" He snaps suddenly, darting cold eyes to me. "Alright?"
Taken aback, I stare at Newt with worried eyes.
His face falls in response. "I'm sorry..." He whispers weakly, eyes shifting slightly, seeming a little frantic. "I just- It's nothing to worry about, okay?"
Frowning, I hesitantly nod. "Okay..."
He furrows his brows together, licking his lips. "I think I'm going to head to bed... I'll see you in the morning."
Pursing my lips together, I nod, watching Newt walk past me and down the stairs to the second level, rushing into the room that Gally had told him to sleep in and closing the door swiftly behind him.
Something is definitely wrong.