CAUTIOUS [knj x bts]

1.2

"C'mon, baby," Seokjin says softly, "Let's get you bathed and changed, alright?"
He feels more than sees Namjoon nod somewhat timidly, still hidden against his shoulder like Seokjin can protect him from the world.  Seokjin feels another shot of guilt at the fact that he failed at that, that at some points over the past weeks he's probably been one of the stressful and scary and cold things that Namjoon wanted to be protected from, but he pushes the feeling away.  Carefully, he gathers Namjoon up into his arms so that he'll be comfortable and slowly stands up with a small grunt of effort.  Namjoon isn't heavy - if anything, it feels as if he's dropped some weight recently, and that thought hurts too - but Seokjin's muscles ache from the constant dance practises, the hours and hours spent repeating the same movements over and over again because he just can't get them right.  He hadn't seen, but Namjoon must've been going through the same thing.  All on his own, not coping and instead hiding his struggles.  Fuck, how long has he been on the brink of breaking like this? How bad is it, if it took the stress and violence of a fight to force him into little space? How much is he hiding?

Seokjin keeps his face from bearing any of the thoughts racing through his mind, keeping his expression relaxed and open even if Namjoon isn't looking at him.  He manages to get the bedroom door open with a significant amount of difficulty but does not externalise the struggle, being careful not to jostle Namjoon or let his arms tense in frustration, then makes his way carefully down the - thankfully empty - hallway to the bathroom.  He sets Namjoon down carefully on the closed lid of the toilet once they're both inside and he's kicked the door gently shut behind them.  He spends a few seconds making sure that Namjoon is okay balancing himself for a little while, then turns his attention to the large bathtub.  It's rarely used, considered a luxury, particularly with their almost constantly tight schedules leaving no room for hours spent on things so trivial as self-care, but Seokjin believes that Namjoon is deserving of it right now.  They don't have any obligations tomorrow besides self-organised practices, and those can be shifted around and changed to meet Namjoon's needs.  Seokjin doubts that he'll be ready to return entirely to big space by tomorrow, especially with how much he's been neglecting himself.  And how much he's been neglected by the others.

Pushing the guilt away, or at least trying to channel it into something useful, Seokjin kneels down and turns the faucet to begin filling the tub.  He checks the water temperature carefully every couple seconds, perhaps too carefully, but he wants everything to be perfect.  Namjoon deserves everything to be perfect right now.  Seokjin glances back and sees him sat exactly as he was left, with tired, bloodshot eyes and a pallor in his cheeks that hurts Seokjin's chest. 
"I'm running you a nice bath, baby," he says, making sure his voice is clear and perky in the hopes that it will bring Namjoon into reality a little, and help him into headspace in a softer, more pleasant way.  Namjoon doesn't acknowledge the words, staring listlessly at the floor and sort of looking like he's about to start crying again.  Seokjin bites harshly at his bottom lip and stands up to fetch one of the sweet-smelling bubble baths usually reserved for Namjoon in little space.  Most of them have barely been used.
"How about this one, Joonie?" Seokjin asks, picking out an unopened bottle of a brand meant for babies, coloured a pale peachy orange to match the scent.  "Do you wanna smell like peaches?"
Honestly, Seokjin hadn't been expecting a response, but he lights up when Namjoon gives a tiny, timid nod.  Seokjin nods too and races back over to the bath, almost desperate to do anything that will make Namjoon happy.
"Okay," he says, voice a little breathy with relief, "Then that's what baby'll get, hm?"
He adds a generous amount into the rising bath water and dips his forearm in to mix it around, watching the foamy bubbles rise and a pale peach hue tint the water as the sweet smell of peaches begins to fill the bathroom.  Seokjin replaces the bottle on the shelf and walks back over to Namjoon, keeping his pace slow.  He knows Namjoon isn't made of glass, but he's definitely made of something fragile right now, and he isn't entirely sure what may send him spiralling into another meltdown.

"Alright, sweetheart.  We've gotta get you undressed now.  So arms up, okay?"
Gradually, Namjoon seems to be settling into headspace more, as he obeys rather than making any attempt to take his shirt off himself.  Seokjin gives him a smile that probably appears a little sadder than intended, and pulls Namjoon's t-shirt up and off of him, discarding it over his shoulder.  He goes to gush about how pretty Namjoon is like he usually does, but the look on his face and the presence of his ribs poking through his skin has the words dying in Seokjin's throat.  He's still pretty, he's beautiful and always will be, but now isn't the right time to try and tell him that.  Right now it'll only make the both of them cry.
Seokjin pushes past it and moves downwards, gently gripping the waistband of Namjoon's joggers and softly encouraging him to lift his hips a little.  He obeys, somewhat clumsily, and Seokjin gently pulls his joggers and boxers down in one movement, cooing quietly to soothe him when he glances up to see the look on his face. 
"It's okay, baby," Seokjin mutters, carefully gathering Namjoon up into his arms as he stands again, "Let's get you into the water, yeah? It's nice and warm.  Daddy's gonna clean you up, then we can get you dressed in something cosy and cuddle.  With all the others, too.  Does that sound good?"
Slowly, Seokjin lowers Namjoon into the water, ignoring it as the edges of his rolled-up sleeves end up getting wet, too.  Namjoon curls up into himself once he's in the water but doesn't try to hide, instead glancing up at Seokjin anxiously and seemingly hesitating for a moment.

"With...with dada, too?"
It's the first time Namjoon's spoken 'properly', not forcing himself to sound big, but Seokjin's delight in overshadowed as his brows furrow slightly at the question.  He smooths his expression quickly and nods, smiling.  Namjoon's voice is so soft, so timid.
"Of course, baby.  With dada, too." 
Seokjin doesn't know what's been going on between Namjoon and Yoongi for the past few weeks, but apparently it hasn't been good.  They'd been spending so much time together in the studio, Seokjin didn't understand how Yoongi could have not noticed if Namjoon was upset and stressed and avoiding little space, but he knows that now isn't the time to try and push blame around.  He can only hope that Yoongi is actually at the dorm; he hasn't seen him, but if he's not, there isn't a single excuse in the world that won't have Seokjin making him drag his ass back home.  Once Namjoon's asleep, all six of them have an important conversation to have.  But for now, Namjoon himself is all that matters.
"D'you want me to wash your hair, Joonie?" Seokjin asks, voice soft as he cups some water in his hand and tips it over Namjoon's shoulder, watching the droplets trail down and wet the skin in their wake.  He glances up just in time to see Namjoon give a timid nod, and lifts a wet hand to smooth the younger's messy hair back out of his face.
"Alright, lean back, baby," he says, giving Namjoon a smile, "Just let daddy do everything, okay?"