bittersweet » lily evans

1.0

The next morning was a little awkward, for Julia anyway. Julia and Lily kept making eye contact during their morning routines, each of them wanting to speak but neither knowing how to start the conversation.

Luckily, Alice breached the topic for them, "So, how was your little Hogsmeade date?" She asked, her eyes flickering between Julia and Lily.

Julia wanted to say that it was amazing, but she would let Lily reply first just in case the feeling was one sided.

"It was really nice," Lily smiled fondly, much to Julia's relief.

"Yeah, I enjoyed it," Julia agreed, shrugging on a jacket.

"I've never heard something positive leave your mouth before, ever," Dorcus said, looking perplexed.

Julia rolled her eyes, "It won't be a common occurrence around you Meadowes, don't worry," she replied condescendingly.

"Of course not, you're too punk rock to show emotions," Marlene scoffed mockingly.

"Punk rock?" Julia repeat aloud, "I like it, thanks Mckinnon." She nodded appreciatively, shooting a grin at the blonde haired girl.

Marlene muttered something under her breath, but Julia took no notice. She finished the last bit of her make up and then left the room, heading down to breakfast.

She had just left through the fat lady's portrait when she heard quick footsteps getting closer behind her. Julia brushed it off, assuming it was an excitable first year - they had a habit of running through the corridors - but then a flash of red pulled to a stop next to her.

Julia observed the panting girl beside her, trying not to let how adorable she thought Lily looked show on her face.

"Are you okay Evans?" She asked, "You sound a little out of breath."

"Are we back on last name basis now?" Lily replied, ignoring her question. Julia thought she saw a flash of hurt on the girl's face, but she must have been imagining it.

"What do you want Lily?" She tried again, taking great joy in being able to use the girl's first name freely.

"What you said yesterday-"

Julia cut Lily off with a groan, "Can we just forget about that?"

Lily ignored her, "Did you mean it?" She finished.

"You'll have to be more specific, I said a lot yesterday," Julia said, avoiding Lily's eyes and the question.

"About trying to buy my affection," Lily explained shortly. 

When Julia didn't reply straight away, she carried on talking, "Because you flirt a lot, but that didn't really feel like flirting to me, and you didn't sound like you were joking either, so I'm just a bit curious," she rambled.

Julia met Lily's eyes for the first time since the girl had caught up to her. Her green eyes sparkled brightly in the sun lit corridor, they were wide as they stared into Julia's own eyes, waiting for an answer. Julia couldn't lie, not when Lily was looking at her like that.

"Yes, I meant it," she said simply, turning away from the brilliant green and walking faster down the dull brown corridor.

Lily scurried to catch up to her again and Julia held in a sigh. If Lily didn't back off now, she was scared that everything would come spilling out.

"But why..." Lily trailed off, clearly deep in her thoughts.

Julia was tense, putting all of her effort into not letting her panicked thoughts show on her face. They were getting a few strange looks as they walked down the corridor, maybe because both of them looked uncharacteristically serious, or because people weren't aware of their friendship.

If people stared when they were just friends, how would people react to the news of them being in a relationship? That is, if Lily ever even wanted to be in a relationship with Julia, which was unlikely.

Why couldn't Julia have just kept her distance, like she had since she first joined Hogwarts. Why did she suddenly have to catch feelings for a straight girl?

Julia was torn between just blurting all of her feelings out in a dramatic confession of l̶o̶v̶e̶ , like, or never speaking again so the girl would never find out about her crush.

"You know you don't have to buy my affection, right?" Lily said after a moment of silence, "I already like you."

The statement, which should have filled Julia with joy, only succeeded in making her feel worse: she knew what phrase was bound follow.

"You're my friend," Lily said with a smile. Her tone was reassuring, but her words sent a jolt of pain through Julia.

Julia winced slightly, "I'm glad Lil," were the only words she managed to get out.

"You know, I used to despise you up until a few months ago," Lily admitted, "You were just a tiny bit down on the scale from Potter," she joked.

Julia forced a laugh, "At least I can live happily knowing that you never hated me as much as Potter," she replied. The thought did bring Julia a little comfort, mainly because it satisfied her urge to be better than the boy in ever way possible.

When they reached the Great Hall, Julia was expecting Lily to sit away from her, so she could save places for her friends, but she sat down opposite Julia and began to tuck into her meal.

Julia watched the girl with soft eyes for a moment, until she realised that she was staring and turned away to her own food. She didn't understand how one person could make her feel so many things.

She caught site of a small bracelet on Lily's wrist and smiled. She couldn't help but hope that one day, Lily would realise the meaning of Julia's actions and finally understand that Julia didn't just want to be friends. 

sorry for not updating for a while, i couldn't think of where to go from the last chapter but i tried. 

this was painful to write ughhh! i just want julily to be happy and gay together