Alex Lawther Imagines

"I thought I lost you."

I'm here, stuck. Stuck in a room I don't want to be in with people I don't want to be around. I'm in my own little world, trying not to be pulled out of my daze and trying to avoid any interruptions. The scene that laid in front of me was too much to wrap my head around. The body that lay in front of me was familiar yet unfamiliar. It was him, Alex in the flesh, but everything about him seemed so off. Tubes in his body keeping him alive and a monitor assuring he's still well. The tedious beeps drive me insane, I'm contented that he's alive...alive, but not living. I'm happy that the sound repeats itself again and again and again, but I'd much rather hear his voice. His laugh, the gentle accent that brought on all types of emotions, his whines, his yelps, anything, anything at all. I want him to open his eyes and to run home with me. We'll jump on the bed until were drained, we'll have water drinking competitions, we'll cuddle until we fall asleep in an embrace of warmth and love, we'll be back to normal as if nothing happened.

The event replayed in my head again and again. Stop! I want it to stop, I need it to stop. The gasps of horror and shock from the crowd and the crack against the pavement. The sounds haunted me more than anything, it was all I could hear, a broken record that refused to be fixed. Perhaps I'm overexaggerating, maybe I'm being melodramatic and all of this isn't a big deal. But I'm scared, I don't know what to think or how to feel. I feel hopeless as well, I'm sitting here without a clue as to what to do. A 17 year old that didn't know anything about cracked skulls and brain damage, that's all I was. A scared girl who just wants her boyfriend to get better.

•••

Exams had just finished, everyone was in a state of ataraxia, the burden of understanding and memorizing concepts behind everyone's minds. As a form of celebration, everyone went to the local skating dome, nothing extravagant but it was a simple act that freed our minds.

The location was filled with other teenagers and families. Music played through the speakers, probably "80s greatest hits".

"Alex! Don't even think of letting go...if you do- OH MY GOD!" His grasp on my hands loosened slightly, bringing me to an immediate state of panic. His entire body shook as he laughed.

"I'm kidding, sorry." I remained tucked away in the corner pouting with the fear of falling over. He skated towards me. As soon as he was in front of me his hands went on my shoulders, he spun me around and guided me around the rink. Soon enough I had gotten comfortable, but I still wanted to have some sort of contact with him. A kept a grip on his hand and in unison we moved around the smooth waxed floor.

All of us had agreed to call it a night and head home. Jack, Finn, Peter, Mary, Alex and I went outside. The weather was moderate, it wasn't warm but it wasn't cold. From the gap between the skating dome and the convenience store, yelling and obscenities could be heard. Alex and Finn immediately moved towards the cacophony.

In the alleyway were 2 men, probably in their 20s having a dispute about something. There already had been a small crowd gathering around the 2, but no one was doing anything. Alex ran in between the pair prying them apart, though he managed to stop the fight between the two of them, he had just made the situation so much worse. One of the boys pushed Alex back and if only he had seen it coming would he have been okay. He stumbled back forcefully, the back of his head colliding with the pavement. An unsettling crack, produced sharp intakes of breaths and shocked expressions. The built 20 something year old looked down in surprise as he saw a dark liquid slowly spread across the crumbled tarmac.