Girls Next Door- Hamilton Modern AU

Fifteen: The Return

I had just sat there with tears in my eyes. I wanted to hate him. Every part, every bone in my body wanted me to storm out or hit him or something. Every part except my heart. My heart wanted to pull him in and kiss him and go to bed with him and wake up the next morning to pancakes and kisses and romance.

What the hell was wrong with me.

"It's just... A lot right now," I finally spattered out.
"I know. I didn't expect you to say it back or be comfortable with me yet," John sighed.
"I do love you." I said, John's eyes lit up. "I know I love you. I just need a night to think things over. Get myself straight. Make sure this is what I want."
"I know. I understand," he sighed. "Do you want me to walk you back to your sisters or, do you want to sleep here?"
"I was actually going to come back tomorrow," I replied.
"Funny," John smiled. "You think I'd let you go back into the streets after you disappeared for God knows how long-"
"John." Alex entered the room mid sentence and stared at us. "Five minutes."
"Right," John said as he sat up. "Peggy wants to leave and come back tomorrow."
"You want me to walk you back to Eliza's?" Alex offered.
"Actually-"
"She wants to leave the apartment building until tomorrow," John interrupted.
Alex started laughing. "You think we're stupid? Just take John's bed. He can take the couch."

Before I could even refuse- Alex stepped away back into his room and shut the door, leaving John and I. He shrugged and smiled and headed off towards his room, and I followed.

He pushed open the door to a some what cleaned room and started taking clothes off the bed and into a pile on the other side of the room. He went into his drawer and pulled out a pair of red sweats and a baggy adidas shirt. He handed them to me and smiled.

"Let me know if you need anything," he responded.

I smiled, and he stood for a second. He stared at me, like he was waiting for something else. But he eventually left and shut the door behind him. I wanted to tell him to stay, to spend the night with me, to come and cuddle- but instead, I changed into John's clothes, tied my hair up, and went to sleep.

By the time I woke up, it was past one in the afternoon. I hadn't slept for that long and that well sense I left. I slowly pushed myself up and rubbed my eyes, then left John's room.

I walked into the living room where Alex and John were playing a video game without volume. Pillows and blankets were all over the couch, and a smell of bacon and toast filled the room. I walked over towards them and stood behind them and watched for a minute, before someone grabbed me from behind. Suddenly I was rightly squeezed and lifted into the air, and I instantly knew who it was.

"If you ever leave like that again," Herc started. "I will personally drive around every city in New York and find you. Don't scare me like that."
I laughed. "I won't. Promise."

Alex and John had paused their video game and started laughing as Herc put me down. Herc is just a big Teddy Bear. I went over and sat next to John as Herc went into his room. John and Alex shared a look before Alex nodded, and followed Herc.

"How'd you sleep?" John finally asked, then he laughed.
"Shush. I haven't had a bed in a place I felt comfortable in," I smiled.
"You feel comfortable here?" He asked while scooting a bit closer.
"Of course I do," I finally said. I smiled at my thighs then looked up, and I kissed him. He hesitated for a quick second before kissing back. "I love you."
"I love you too."

I paused before resting my head on his shoulder. I sighed, and he wrapped his arm around me. We sat like that for a second as silence filled the house, the only hearable noises were coming from Alex and Herc.

"You want to go see your sisters?" John asked.
"Angelica works until eight. Who even knows if Liz is home," I replied.
John paused. "Do you even want to go?"

I took a deep breath, not even looking at him. Just looking at my thighs thinking. Did I even want to? I couldn't stay with John forever. Even though I badly wanted to, I wanted to run away with him and go to California or Washington or, anyway from here.

"I don't even want to be here," I chuckled. "I want to leave."
"I can take you somewhere- get you a motel or-"
"No, John. You don't get it," I said as I sat up. "I want to leave New York. I want to go far- like California or Washington or Nevada, I don't want to stay here anymore. It's caused me nothing but pain and tears and-"
"And love," John interrupted. "You met me here. I met you here. I love you, and if you leave, who knows what I'll do."

I paused. I began walking back and forth slowly and at a short distance. So many thoughts ran through my head. Where I would go, how I would get there, how would I live on. Questions just swirling up inside.

"Who says I have to leave you?" I finally said. Jon stared with a confused look. I walked over and held his hands in mine. "Run away with me."

John's eyes widened and his eyebrow raised. He said nothing, probably questioning if I was even serious. But I was. If I was leaving, John had to come with me. I couldn't leave him.

"I can't just drop everything and go," he finally replied. "What about the guys? And work? And my family? And-"
"I'm not asking for a direct answer," I interrupted. "I'm asking that'll you consider it."
John sighed. "How would we make it work?"
"We get jobs, we rent an apartment- we will figure it out," I continued with a grin on my face.
He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll think about it."

I smiled as I threw myself into his arms and stayed there for a moment. He hugged me back and kissed my forehead before slowly pulling away.

"Let's go see Liz."

(A/N

new JEGGY MODERN AU up, called 'The Bitch Switch' and the introduction is up now. go check it out for me
-savannah💓)