The diary of Ryan Ross // RYDEN //

• four •

Chapter by pastelpluto2o (you can tell bcus it's crap af)

Would you believe me if I said that today wasn't shitty? Because it wasn't shitty.
I hung out with the new kid. The boy with the masculine build, bold shiny hazel eyes and beautifully parted hair. The same boy that helped me when spencer was being a cunt.

It was just us for a while, but then Dallon came. When I began shouting at him for worrying me, he explained that he was on holiday. Dickhead could have told me that earlier. I've noticed recently that he's been drifting away from our friendship, making new friends and not really speaking to me as much.

Brendon. That was the new kids name, it fit him pretty perfectly. To everybody else it was just a name, but to me it was like a comfort zone. I could be in the worst stage of my life and the single word could make me feel somewhat safe.

We discussed music and stuff, nothing to interesting, but the conversation made me feel happy and comfortable. The fact he knew Dallon was great too because it was a sort of link in our relationship.

I wish I could call it a relationship.

Fuck I'm so gay. He's so fit and so....I don't even know but.....he's fabulous. Beautiful, amazing, gorgeous, funny, great, wonderful............I could go on.

But he seems straight. He even has a girlfriend. A beautiful young lady with silk blonde hair and eyes like deep blue pools of life, so easy to get stunned by. So easy to drown in all the same.

"So how do you know spencer?" I asked, flooded by memories from yesterday.
"Uh....he knows my sister."
I pinpointed the way he clenched his teeth when on the subject of his sister.
"Your sister?" I questioned.
He nodded and took a shaky breath, attempting to release buckets worth of anger.

I have to go now. I'll write in here tomorrow if I remember.