Boneca [Doll]

Chapter 51: Move on

The biting January gale swept across Junko da Graça's sweaty face as she tapped away on her Coros Apex. The heat from her pounding chest rose to her head, intensifying the thumping in her ears.

"Holy mother. I thought you said you can't run?" Luuk rested his hands on his knees, catching up with her ten seconds later.

Her optimal pace was four minutes per mile. She was a minute slower. She rolled her eyes at him. For someone who rarely ran, he could match her speed, and it annoyed her.

Luuk wiped his face with his shirt. His abs were glistening with sweat, wetting the waistband of his running tights. She hated it too, that he was leaner than her when she was starting to have these 'woman' fats all over her body.

"Look through the rose glasses, honey. You're a minute faster than the average female. Why the rush? Your pace will come back. You know your health isn't the best now."

She glared at him. She knew it wasn't his fault, but she hated what he just said. He didn't make her feel weak, but he always compared her to average women. She wasn't a woman before, and even if that was the case now, she wasn't average. A small part of her wanted to continue testosterone therapy because of it. It was harder to be a woman than she had imagined.

"I can't wait to move away from here. I can't wait to go for the appointment next week. I need to fix what's wrong with me." She slammed the pedestrian button at the traffic light. Her gym came into view when the group of people on the other side crossed the street.

Luuk kept on talking about how this was just a process, how changing place would help her start anew. He kept on babbling, and she wouldn't care to listen to the same thing again and again.

"—doesn't mean you're broken. And you'll always—"

"Luuk Smit." She stopped in the middle of the road and grabbed his arm. "Pare de falar." [Stop talking.]

"What?" He raised his eyebrows so high, they almost got lost in his hairline.

"Just fucking stop talking. I am not your student, so stop lecturing me!"

His eyes darted to their surroundings. A few pedestrians glanced at them, but they continued walking. The sun had fully risen, and the street was getting busier.

Her anger turned to concern and guilt when the penny dropped. Her emotions were on a roller coaster ride this month, but she shouldn't get mad at him for no reason. Sometimes she forgot that he had his issues too. She was physically unfit now, and he could see it very well. But he was still mentally unfit, but she often overlooked it nowadays.

He yanked his arm. He pulled the hood of his sweater and darted away.

She caught up to him in ten steps, but his strides were wider. "Luuk. Wait. I'm so—"

He stopped so suddenly, she crashed into his back.

He turned around, his hood slid down his head. It was shocking to see sadness in his eyes when she thought he was angry.

"Luuk..."

"I am in no way a connoisseur of romance, Junko da Graça. What makes you think it's easy for me to handle a relationship when I can't even handle crowds like a normal person?" He glanced at the big guy slurping a drink, passing them. "I wouldn't even shake hands with anyone before, but I punched someone because of you."