Boneca [Doll]

Chapter 46: Grateful

Junko leaped off the couch as Dominic waltzed in solo; Luuk wasn't trailing behind him. Part of her felt relieved. Imagining Luuk reading the cringy letter she handed him was beyond embarrassing. Seriously, why did she even write that?

Dominic handed a cigar to Kurosaki-san. It had nothing to do with the cigar, but suddenly, she remembered Luuk's present. Should she wrap it up?

"Kurosaki-san, chotto heya ni imasu." [I will be in my room for a while.]

"Mochiron. Yūhan'ga dekitara den'washimasu." [Sure. I'll call you when the supper is ready.]

She nodded and slipped into her room. Hugging the pillow, she buried her face in it, inhaling the bergamot. Luuk's scent lingered on the bedsheet, flowing through her soul. It was oddly calming. She wanted to bask in it forever, smelling him first thing in the morning.

Okay, you're getting creepy.

Taking a deep breath, she sat down. It took a few seconds, but she pulled open the chest drawer on her right. The testosterone her father prescribed lounged at the back. She retrieved the round cylinder and stared at the clear liquid.

It had been three months since she last took her shot. When she was ten, her father spun tales of this being magic water that could resurrect Jona. He claimed God would forgive her if she repented and took responsibility for Jona's death. He promised no more beatings, believing suffering was the price for sins. As a kid, she saw it as a win-win; she caused Jona's death, and she held the power to bring him back. Now, she wasn't so sure. The liquid looked more like acid than magic water. Would it burn her veins? Would she crumble and die?

"Docinho?" [Honey?]

The container fell on her lap, rolled under the bed. She looked up, startled to see Luuk beside her.

"Sim?" [Yes?] She decided to put the bottle issue on hold. "Desculpa, não te ouvi chegar." [Sorry, I didn't hear you coming.]

He kneeled in front of her and reached under the bed.

"No. Don't take it. I-"

"Here." He opened his fist and looked her straight in the eye.

Somehow, she felt guilty about having testosterone. But sooner or later, she'd need to inject it. Even though the thought was less welcoming now.

Luuk sat next to her. "What happened in the hospital, sweetheart? Have you made your decision?"

"Nothing happened." She looked down. "No, I don't know what to think or what to do."

"Junko." He folded a leg on the bed and touched her neck. "Junko."

"O quê?" [What?]

He shifted closer and kissed her, long and deep. There was a certain taste on his lips, and it tasted so good, she didn't want him to stop. She licked her lower lip. Soaked leather. Bitter and sweet.

"Did you just smoke?"

He licked his lips. "It tastes good? I just had a few drags of cigar with D." He took out the thick cigar from his chest pocket. As he rolled it between his fingers, he said, "I told you my dad smokes like Churchill. It's almost impossible for me not to do the same."

The mental image of him with that pretty face smoking cigars made her laugh.

"What?" He scrutinized her as he put it back in his pocket.

"Effeminate," she said to herself and remembered his Christmas present. "Luuk, tenho uma coisa para ti." [I have something for you.]

His face crinkled a bit; a hint of curiosity in his eyes.