Without You (Matthew Espinosa)

Chapter 20

Cassidy's POV

After awhile of hugging Matthew I pulled away and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Where have you been?" I asked him quietly because I couldn't really talk loud because of all the crying I have been doing.

"Thinking" was all he said not looking at me in the eyes.

"I've been needing you this whole time Matt, but you were never here, and all you can say is thinking?" I asked hurt because he can give me a better explanation that just thinking.

"Look Cassidy I'm sorry, just I needed a lone time to think about everything that's going on, and I also didn't wanna face you, because I know seeing you a mess would just make me blame my self even more" he said to me and I shook my head.

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself, for any of this, it's not your fault it's Kary's she was the one to blame, so please stop blaming yourself because right now I need you more than anything, these past couple days have been shit for me, and all I really wanted was you to be here to help me get threw this" I told him, cupping his face so he could look at me.

"I know I shouldn't blame my self but for some reason I can't stop blaming my self like I wish I could have done something, before all this happened and just looking at you upset makes me blame my self more like I said" he said to me really upset

"Matt please stop I love you too much, and seeing you like this hurts me even more so just stop blaming yourself" I said to him, and he just shook his head, so I stood on the tipis of my toes, because Matt is extremely taller than me, and kissed him. After awhile of kissing him I pulled back to see the smile I love back on his face.

"I'll try to stop blaming myself for your same, and be there for you, I promise" he said and I smiled and nodded my head and hugged him, which he hugged me back.

"Can we come back in now? Hayes is having separation issues from you Cassidy" Nash said poking his head inside the room, and I chuckled lightly.

"Ya y'all can" I said and Matt looked at me confused, and Nash nodded his head and walked back out. "long story Hayes doesn't leave my side because ever since I found about Jackson in here, he doesn't like how upset I am, and everything" I told him and he nodded his head before the guys came back in.

"So everyone's good now?" Serenity asked and we both nodded out heads before I felt someone hug me, and I looked down to see Hayes, so I just ruffled his hair and hugged him back.

"So this is what I've missed?" Matt asked the others, and they nodded their heads.

"Pretty much" Cam said, and Matt just made this face and nodded his head, we than started talking before we heard someone knock on the door, and the door open, and it was the doctor.

"Hey Doc" Johnson said

"Hi guys, i just came in to tell you that we have some news to tell you all" the doctor said, and the nurse came in after him.

"Good or Bad?" Gilinksy asked, and the Doctor and Nurse looked at each other before looking back at us.

"Um about that" the doctor said and for some reason i knew that was bad and honestly it scared me so i hugged Hayes tighter, and we kinda scooted over to Matt, and he hugged both of us.

"What is it than?" Mahogany asked the doctor 

"Well um we got the result from all those tests we did on him, and uh they don't look so good, because it shows that he should have woken up a long time ago, but he hasn't, and we really don't know what else it is because the tests keep showing up as many diffrent things, and those things aren't good, so we think he might not make it" The doctor said, and i just stood there soaking everything in, before the tears started falling down my face.

"So how long will he be able to live?" I heard Cameron ask.

"Well were trying everything we can to make him survive, but at the moment we can hope for another week" the nurse said, and i saw nodd his head, while everyone else just looked at the gorund or looking at me with sad looks, i felt Hayes move away from me, so my first reflex was to turn to matt and hugged him before sobbing into his shirt. 

"I'm really sorry" The doctor said "Were going to leave you guys alone so all of this can soak in" he said and Cam told the doctor thanks before they left, leaving us alone, and promise me i couldn't stop crying after everything they said, like why do bad things have to happen to me, i just wish my life was diffrent, because everytime when something good happens, something bad happens right after that, and it sucks, just i can't explain.

"I'm really sorry Cassey" i heard Jacob said, but i kept crying not wanting to speak to anyone but just cry, and think of everything that has gone wrong in my life, and how much i hate Kary for doing this to Jackson it makes me so mad, that i just wanna kill her, but my thoughts where interrupted when the Defibrillator made that weird nose like when someone's heart stops beating, and than all these nurses came running in here, and the doctor, i didn't know what was happening because everything was going so fast for me, until we were sent into the waiting room, when everything started to make sense to me, but it wasn't fast enough for me to know what was actually happening until the Doctor came out, with a sad look on his face, and seeing him like that caused me to fall to the ground crying so much, and me asking myself why, and a lot of other questions.

"I'm really sorry, we tried everything we could do to make his heart beat again, but nothing worked, i'm terriably sorry i really am" the doctor said, and i felt someone pick me up, and walked into the room, and put me down, so i ran over to Jackson's lifeless body and hugged him, because i knew this would be last time i ever get to hug him anymore after this.

"Why" was all i asked when they started unplugging everything that was hooked up to him, while i just hugged him, and cried...

Welp i think this story is almost complete!! And no i wont make a sequel but i'll make like a Prologue or whatever you call those things lol well ya thanks everyone!