My Anorexic Heart

Chapter 15 - And Then There Were Two

True to his word, Sebastian did not mention my episode again. We went to the mall. I wanted a simple phone that makes calls and texts, he insisted on the newest iPhone. After much arguing, he purchased the phone and added me to his plan. But, like all things in my life, phones are complicated. I had to purchase, with my own hard earned cash, a basic phone that did nothing but talk and text to replace the phone on my parents plan. One minor difference, I had them change the number. This caused an uproar. Mom swears I'm hiding something. Dad swears she's too uptight. I swear neither will ever be right. 

That night I lay in my bed staring up at the popcorn ceiling wondering what I would do differently if I could go back to age five. The Cliff Notes version: everything.

One of the phones on my beach wood nightstand buzzes. I turn. The big screen of the iPhone lights up. Sebastian bought me a purple Lifeproof case — clearly he underestimates my destructive abilities. I unplug it from the charger that is connected to the wall behind the nightstand and hold it up to my face. The light is blinding in the dark room so I flick on the lamp.

BFIT: Just got back to my parents. Wanted to say goodnight.

BFIT stands for: Boyfriend In Training. Sebastian insists I keep his identity a secret in case the phone is found. How I'll explain a spare phone with one contact named "BFIT" to my parents, I have yet to work out. 

Me: Night... C u tomorrow?

BFIT: :/ I hope so.

I resist typing a sad face. Way too needy.

Me: I'll save you a seat at my desk just in case ;)

I opt for the winky face. It serves two purposes: winks are flirtatious and they are less desperate than the sad face.

BFIT: I'll make it by just to see you.

Eek. I cringe. Way too mushy. I text 'K' and plug the phone back in. Before I can flick off the light, another buzz goes off, but it does not come from the iPhone.

I pick up the basic phone that was next to free. On the screen is some unidentified number — I didn't transfer my contacts.

954-958-4758: Can I ask you something?

Me: New phone. Who is this?

954-958-4758: Edward.

My heart momentarily stops and my stomach turns to ice.

954-958-4758: I hate text. I'll call.

Noooooooo. I barely have time to wrap my mind around the fact that Edward has my new number before the phone buzzes.

I hold it out like a grenade ready to explode if I don't answer. But if I do, I'll be holding a grenade to my head!

I swallow and on the fourth ring I press the green answer button.

"Nina?"

I nod and then remember we are on the phone. "I'm here."

"Listen, I wouldn't have called but I figure I would ask you before I asked your parents. I'm having the house tented over spring break. If it's okay with you, I'll stay in the extra room."

I roll my eyes. Great. A week with Edward living with me. "What kind of question is that?" I can't help the irritation in my voice, it is the only way I know how to speak to him.

"You know. I shouldn't have called —"

"You can stay, okay? You don't have to call me to ask," I snap. I shouldn't be mean to him. I brought this on myself, but if he wouldn't take me so seriously maybe we could still be friends.

He half-sighs half-chuckles. "Yeah, looking forward to seeing you too."

I roll my eyes again, but this time, they are coated in tears. "Don't mock me, Edward." My voice cracks, giving me away.

He sighs. "I'll never understand you."

I sniffle, might as well cry if he already knows I'm crying. "You never have. Goodbye."

I press end as if the red button has personally insulted me and then shove the charger back into its phone-butt, flick off the light, and bury my face in my pillows.

No matter how hard I try, I can't keep the voices away tonight. They claw at my eyes, burn my throat, scrape my ears. Trembling I take three anxiety pills without water and curl into a ball until unconsciousness wraps its coils around me and pulls me under.

I dream of Edward and her.

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Short chapter. I might add to it, in which case there will be a part 2 or I'll just make a whole new chapter. Critiques are welcome. Let me know if this works for you/doesn't. And, if you like, please vote and share :) Thank you for reading along!