Won

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Struggle. Pain. Guilt.

These things you may feel when you turn and see everyone is smiling. People are having faith in God, not doubting Him, but believing.

Why can't I ?

Why is it that I question every breath that enters my lungs, every step I take, I wonder if God truly gave it to me?

I mean, after all, we can't have faith in something that isn't real. Right?

It would be completely silly. A higher being ? Someone who truly cares about who you are and where you go in this so called 'after life'? That can't be real.

I mean, no one truly cares about anyone but themselves. How can God ?

Not long ago, I was speaking in tounges. On a spiritual high and absolutely nothing could bring me down. I was ready to go out in this world with Jesus in my heart and scripture under my sleeve.

I was completely in love with Jesus, a man who had died for my sin.

Then one day, I wasn't convinced.

The same love that had drawn me to a better life and convinced me to be better, now didn't have the same affect.

I was confused. I was depressed.

But what I didn't know, was that God had better for me. Even up till now I still struggle. But through Him, I have already won the battle.

Life is going to be better. If you're going through the same thing, understand things will get better.

Just keep on reading, and keep on fighting.

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