Ivy Gates || PJM || Ivy Book One || ✔

6.

JIMIN

The very first meal the girl made was stew. It must be a poor area meal, as it wasn't the first time I had been served the meal by a new girl. I admitted after my first time trying it that it was delicious, and the one that 1216 made smelled very good. It looked good, as well; a thick broth with meat and various vegetables cooked to perfection with a generous chunk of bread.

But I couldn't eat it.

I don't know if her making stew for my dinner was a sign, but the second I saw the bowl I could only think of her, and it ruined my appetite. I heard my stomach grumble in complaint while I was sat at my desk in my office, but it was coupled with the feeling of nausea.

To get my mind off the strange feeling in my stomach, I called the Care Girl cleaning company that sent a girl over every day to cook and clean, and advised them that I won't be needing their services for the time  being. 

That company was the only one that actually purchased girls, as they catered to men who didn't have a woman, or who couldn't afford a woman. The girls did everything a usual owned woman would do, but you didn't need to provide a room for them to sleep in. They went back to the company in the evening.

I opened my desk drawer to gather some more paperwork that needed doing, and lying on the wooden floor underneath the paperwork was a tag from a womans collar.

With a sigh I picked it up, rolling it in my fingers as I stared at the surface. It was engraved with big numbers, and a name in smaller writing underneath.

"1331

Daisy"

Daisy. My first woman. I had renamed her when she came to me as a Red Zone girl before I was a General. Her name before was much too aggressive sounding, and a name like Daisy suited her much better. She was beautiful, and I didn't care about her warning. I was already high in the military, so I was licensed to purchase her; I even planned to keep her.

But my mindset was wrong. I thought that if I showed her kindness, and gave her what she wished as long as she followed the rules, that she would change. And she did change. Or so I thought.

I loved her, but she used that against me, and fooled me.

And then the incident happened. After what happened to my father, I should not have been surprised. I should not have trusted a woman. And I never will again.

I snapped my mind free of my self pity and made a note to get a new collar and tag for 1216. I couldn't let her walk around in Daisys old collar. She was definitely more mellow than Daisy, but she had defiant eyes, and I didn't want any of Daisys old mannerisms or thoughts rubbing off on her, just because of the collar. I know it wasn't logical to think that way, but I wasn't going to take any chances this time.

---

BEE

I finished the bowl of stew I had prepared for the General, and I felt comfortably full and warm after. It was one of the best stews I had ever made, most likely due to the high quality ingredients, and I was a little hurt that my new Master refused to eat it.

I couldn't help that I grew up in the poor area, but the fact that he wasted food just because of that made me angry.

I would have gotten a slap from the old Master if I wasted food. My Mama would have smacked me on the head, too. Food was life giving, and precious. But the General obviously grew up privileged, and my food wasn't good enough.

Luckily, I only made enough for two or so bowls, so I packaged the remaining stew for me to have over the next couple of days, and placed it in the fridge. I then cleaned up the kitchen and wiped the table in the dining area, before taking myself up to my bedroom. I undressed and carefully hung the dress on the hanger and back into the wardrobe, before putting on a night dress that was in a drawer in the bottom of the wardrobe before climbing into the bed.

It was warm in the bedroom, and the blankets were thick. There was no draft coming through the window, and the room was dimly lit by a light across the street. The bed was soft and comfortable, and I couldn't help but think of my Mama. She was probably huddled up by herself in that cold room under thin blankets on that hard bed.

For the first time in my life, I was hoping that the Master would have taken her to his bed for that night, so at least she wouldn't be cold. And alone.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing rfeely down my face, and I was trying to keep my sobs quiet, so as not to disturb my new Master.

I missed my Mama so bad, and now she had noone. She couldn't even have any more children, as she was past that age now, so unless the Master purchased another woman, she was going to be alone until the day of her death.

I clung to the heavy blanket over my body, trembling with the effort of keeping my sobs silent. My Mama told me to be strong and not to let the men see that I was hurting. But I was alone now, so allowed myself one night to let out my pain and anguish, before I had to buck up. I wasn't going to be strong for myself. I wasn't going to be obedient and a good woman for the General, or any other man.

I was doing it all for my Mama. I was going to make her proud. And one day, maybe I'll get a kind Master who would let me visit her again.

---

AN: I've had quite a few people wish me better and ask me what's wrong. Thank you all for you concern and well wishes, but I really am not doing great.

I have some herniated discs in the bottom of my spine, and that means I can barely move because of the pain, and I have numb legs and walk slower than a snail. I've had another epidural injection recently, but this time it didn't work, so after my next MRI scan, I will probably need surgery DX I hope that doesn't happen, because I'll be in hospital for a few days and then I'll not be allowed to get out of my bed for a few weeks. I won't be able to write DX

Fingers crossed they'll find another solution DX