Pick Your Poison (Lashton)

1.0

Just thought I'd give yet another warning seeing as we are starting to get into the heavy stuff

THIS IS NOT A HAPPY FEEL GOOD BOOK

There will be lots of rape and drug abuse and self loathing and depression and all that shit.

I'm not writing this book to make people fall in love with the characters or the story, it's not exactly a book I want people to like. I don't expect it to be a popular book, I know most will be  uncomfortable with it.

I'm trying to write something different, go outside of my comfort zone, maybe get a little artsy as I get more into the story?

If y'all wanna go out of your comfort zone too and read something a lil more twisted then keep reading.

I was thinking maybe anyone that has had a bad experience with drugs/self loathing/self harm/rape or anything at all really could message me about it if they wanted and I could try and put it in the story? Just as a way for people that are uncomfortable sharing their experience to be heard?

I have had a lot of experiences with these sorts of topics growing up, as I'm sure many of us have, and they inspire me to write more than some perfect love story.

SOOoooo I know that went on forever and you guys get it already, but basically just know that I know this book is fucked.

....................

Luke woke up to his neighbours fighting. He didn't remember remember when he fell asleep, or Michael leaving. All he knew was that it was still daylight and he was sitting alone in his apartment, with dried blood between his thighs. 

Michael.

Luke didn't blame him, heroin tends to cloud your head. He wanted to lay on the couch for the rest of his life, but he needed pain killers, so he braced himself for the pain before standing on two legs. Luke hobbled to his bathroom, opening up the wall cupboard to reveal his impressive pill collection. He ran his fingers along his shelf of opiates, deciding on codeine.  

After dry swallowing the pills, he stepped into the shower. The red water washing down the drain mesmerised him, he wished it would take him with it. After scrubbing his skin raw, Luke threw on a shirt way too big for his small frame, and buried himself in his large bed.

He stayed there for a couple of hours, sobbing into his pillow. He tried to cry out the anger, the confusion, and the utter sadness.

It didn't work. It never did.

He tortured himself with a dream of a different life.

One where he would just be getting home from high school now, bringing a couple of friends home with him. They would raid his kitchen before locking themselves away in Luke's room, getting too invested in a violent video game. He would laugh until his stomach hurt. Maybe he'd have a boyfriend. A real one. One that would play with his hair and take him on cute dates. It would be getting close to his Formal, the night that he would lose his virginity, he'd practice his moans and positions for weeks. He'd think he was just so cool when him and his friends would smoke shitty weed, maybe even take MDMA at parties if he was feeling particularly wild.

That would be nice, Luke thought, laughing at how opposite his life really was. Calum was the only real friend Luke had, and he fucked that up real quick. He lost his virginity before he could spell the word, and the closest thing he got to boyfriends were the guys that saw him as a piece of meat. He didn't even want to think about how many drugs he'd taken in his life, he couldn't even remember what was currently in his system. Most of his pill bottles didn't even have labels.