Assistant: dirk where did you go???
Holistic_Detective: On the roof, obviously!
Badass: Dirk we have a corpse to examine!
Assistant: the roof?! what are you doing on the roof?
Holistic_Detective: I thought I saw the assassin girl...but I didn't.
Assistant: you went all the way onto the roof to find an assassin who has tried to kill you multiple times.
Holistic_Detective: We worked that out, Todd. She's past that now.
Badass: For god's sake, Todd! Where did you wander off to?
Assistant: i went to find dirk
Holistic_Detective: I can't handle this any longer. Todd, your texting skills...
Assistant: what are you on about
Holistic_Detective: WHERE ARE THE CAPITAL LETTERS?
Badass: FOR GOD'S SAKE DO WE REALLY NEED TO BE DISCUSSING TODD'S STUPID TEXTING METHODS OR CAN WE GET BACK TO DOING OUR JOB? YOU KNOW, THE MATTER AT HAND WHICH INVOLVES A DEAD BODY THAT WE ARE MEANT TO SOLVE NOT CLIMB ON ROOFS MR DIRK GENTLY.
Holistic_Detective: Sorry Farah. I'll come down from the roof now. But Todd?
Assistant: ...yes
Holistic_Detective: We are going to have a serious chat about the usage and importance of using capital letters later.
YOU ARE READING
Dirk Gently Oneshots
FanfictionA jumbled collection of oneshots from the BBC America show Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Chapters will range from angsty AUs to texts conversations between the normal crew and some random characters popping up throughout. Join me on the a...
