Why Me ✓ (FINAL EDITS)

Chapter 9

EMERSON FINDLAY

That night, I laid down on my bed, and shuffled around a bit but could not sleep a wink. After about an hour of lying in the bed, I got up, turned the lamp on, and sat at my desk.

I took out my pen and diary from the drawer and started writing down whatever came into my head. That was what I usually did on one of the sleepless nights.

I was never going to get drunk again. I cannot remember a single thing about what happened twenty-four hours ago. Did I really blurt everything out? Does he really now know what lies under my thick skin? I wish that he is just trying to fool me. I wish he doesn't know anything. I will not ever be able to face him. All my life, whenever I decided to confide in anyone, they left me. That has helped me build a wall around myself to prevent people from seeping in, even if it means that I am imprisoned inside it. At least I'm safe with myself and my heart doesn't have to take any more pain. I'm not going to confront him even if I am dying because of curiosity. I will just let the matter hang in the air. Just like I did in university, I will shut him out again. I am not going to break my safety walls for anyone and he is no exception.

I closed the diary and pen and put them in the drawer. I rubbed my face with both my hands and sighed. Why did destiny always like to play with me? I decided to go downstairs and watch something on Netflix for a while.

As I was in the middle of the flight of stairs, the front door creaked open slowly. I tensed up as I climbed down a few more steps and peeped out.

I could feel my chest rise and fall with my short breaths as my palms sweat. Then, I could see two silhouettes. A man and a woman. Then, the lights were switched on. In came Mr. and Mrs. Jonz. They didn't look happy. They both came and sat on the living room couch.

A sigh escaped Jessica's lips. Albert turned to her and patted her shoulder with a sombre expression on his face.

"This shouldn't be happening, Albert," Jessica said as she broke down.

"I know we got our jobs in DC but I don't want to leave New York. Why did father have to put that condition in the will?"

I frowned. What the hell was happening? I just didn't feel like socializing with anyone so, I turned around and got back into my room. I quietly shut the door behind me and lay down. Still, no sleep came to take me to la la land.

*****

It had been a week since I last had a 'chat' with my boss. Even if I did half of his work, I didn't talk much with him. In the past week, the meeting with the Milan clients had gone pretty smoothly.

I didn't do much of the talking though. I was back to being the socially awkward Emma. The Emma that came out for that meeting a week ago was gone. Adrian tried to talk to me a lot of times but I would just reply with a nod or in monosyllables.

Right now, I was sitting in the café in the building because it was lunchtime. I was thinking about the new types of nightmares I had this week. They were not the typical scary ones. They were bittersweet.

Like in one, I saw all the happy times I spent with Adrian three years ago. Then, he confessed his eternal love to me and just as I was about to reciprocate his feelings, he faded. He vanished into thin air.

Suddenly, I was brought out of my train of thought as the chair in front of me was pulled. I looked up to see a gorgeous redhead occupying the seat. There was a huge grin spread across her face. I was amused that her muscles didn't hurt by now.

"Hey!" She greeted me.

My great social skills kicked in as I tried to greet back,"H-Hey."

I wanted to get out of her sight and hit my head on the table. Really? Not even a greeting without stuttering? What a great first impression, I praised myself.