I felt so alone in the cold, deadly world. It was March, the end of a musty frost and the beginning of a summery spring. But today, it chose to rain. I sat there, watching observantly as two raindrops on the glass pane of the window drooped towards the bottom as if they were having a race. I swallowed hard, my eyes felt heavy, I could do nothing but sit, feeling the breeze penetrate my neck hairs, sending goose bumps around my arms. I shivered.
I couldn't help but release a small sigh, my arms were pricked senseless and my back was feeling the whispers of the wind. Though, there was no wind. I was sat inside my home, on the grey carpet flooring, it was soft, yet it hurt to be so close to something so. My stomach was growling at me, as if I hadn't ate for months. But I'd had breakfast just hours earlier. My head began to pang against my skull, I was awaiting the unknown.
At first I thought I might pray, even cupped my hands together. But what could the higher power do even at this point.
I was stuck between two realms. Good and Evil. The good had been with me for many years of my life, it warmed me, was there for me and welcomed me wherever I went. Though, the evil was apart of me, I could feel it. Within my very flesh, the blood circling in my veins, it was there. It would always be with me.
I shook my head violently to send the pain away, though it stayed. It clung on for dear life as I fought with my conscience over what I should pick. I already knew the answer, good. But I still reminisced over the fact I couldn't grasp what I wanted in life.
I looked down at my black cotton socks, intertwined, my feet locked up against one another. Again, my eyes felt heavy and all I wished to do was fall asleep in my bed, smell the sweet natural fragrance of a clean linen quilt and the perfumes that clung to my pyjamas. I brushed my blonde locks over my shoulder. It wasn't the usual bouncy curls, fun me today. My hair was straight, up in a ponytail and I began to realise I wasn't focusing on how I looked anymore.
I have college to think about, plans, a future and all I can seem to have in my conscious mind is which I should go for. I'm not going to give evil a chance, but good is acting as if I don't exist anymore. Perhaps it's because Klaus has got himself hooked under my skin. Ruffled my perfect feathers. Good ignores me, ignorant towards my love for it.
I approached my mother on the situation, I was feeling isolated, sad. But she only made matters worse, and now even our relationship is broken. We used to be best-friends, a Bonnie and Clyde, two peas in a pod. And now I can't even look at her without feeling shame; guilt and anger. She forced me to reckon with the evil. I have it imprinted in my soul, my true colours, who I really am. Yet I cannot accept it, for if I did, I wouldn't be me. I would confuse things, ruin everything I have built over the years in my life. Years in which I've slammed the evil into the darkness of my mind and heart and now it seems to be wriggling free.
I sat and thought to myself, imagine to be a hummingbird. For once, something Klaus had said had finally made sense. I wanted to be something much less than human, vampire or werewolf. I wanted to be a small bird, that fought every day as if it's their last. A small bird that found accomplishment in surviving another miserable day, or good day.
A tingling sensation started brewing inside my right hand finger tips. Great, pins and needles, just what I need at a time like this. I shook my arm out only to realise it was spreading, my mind was blurred and the headache became stronger. I wanted to clutch my brows but my hands found themselves dangling below my waist, I was paralysed in my own body. I couldn't breathe, I inhaled and exhaled but within every breath it seemed as if the oxygen decrease became worse. I was having a panic attack. I sat there for a moment and no longer thinking of Teen Wolf and how Lydia kissed Stiles which stopped one of these episodes.
Yet to my luck, or to my undoing, Klaus burst in through my bedroom doors. His eyes black. I stared at him, barely recognising who it was until I heard the word love leave his brilliant lips. Before I knew it, a set of warm hands breached my face, my straight hair was no longer hovering my shoulder since he'd softly brushed it behind my back. His bristles brushed over my cheeks as his friendly lips perched onto mine. I was shook out of my thoughts, Klaus was kissing me. I stared at him after he removed himself from my grip and realised it really did work. Lydia Martin, the life saver.
I sat there wondering if Klaus had known this whole time I was sat alone moping over the world, or if he sensed I was in trouble and decided to check up on me, only to find my breathing had turned an unusual pattern, heart struggling to beat as fine as it usually would. He smiled, it was warm, yet I still felt cold.
I felt soothed around him, but it didn't change how I was feeling. I noticed that he'd been wiping my tears with his thumb, though I didn't even know I was crying. He pulled me into his muscular chest, the purple tee clung to his body as his scent was shoved into my face. I didn't mind, I rather enjoyed his company. Again, a small sigh left my lips.
My eyes darted around the room only to find the window-sill once more. The rain was still pattering at the glass like bullets to a shield. The clouds were grey, the trees dead from the winter before. The world was sad.
"Caroline, you are all but good. Yes, you may have been born to an in-humane beast, but look at what good has sprouted you into. In fact, it doesn't hurt to recognise your reflection. You could be both, you know. You don't have to be a horrible person, you can just embrace that you're more than just one element."
Within his soft true spoken words, I planted a kiss on his soft red lips. Yes, I kissed Niklaus Mikaelson and good just had to accept that something in my true nature was attracted to such a difference.
