Lust and Candies

30

Chaeyoung's POV

"Come down once you've settled so we can eat dinner," my mom mumbled as I enter my room. After giving me a peck on my forehead, she went out of my room, leaving me all alone.

My mother was already fine. She got out of the hospital the same day and the moment she saw me, she just hugged me and we both came to an understanding. 

Silence, that's all I have right now, and a fake smile escaped my lips after I realized how unfamiliar my room had become.

After staying on the tour bus for three months, I've already got used to the small space I share with Jungkook.

Or maybe it isn't the space that I've gotten used to?

My heart dropped at the memory of him.

It hasn't been past twenty-four hours but I feel I'm close to having withdrawals right now.

My hands wrapped around my bare shoulder. Now I'm regretting wearing an off-shoulder top. I was already in my room but the cold breeze seemed to follow me.

If Jungkook was here, he would surely hug me tight, his warm hug enough to make me feel better.

But then he will surely scold me for wearing it. I know Jungkook had been trying to refrain himself from stopping me from wearing revealing clothes after the whole pep talk that we had but the glint in his eyes tells me he still doesn't like it.

Slowly, I moved closer and plopped my body down on my bed, my hand feeling the crinkles on the sheets.

Is it normal that I feel nostalgic about everything?

Three months ago, this place is my haven, my home. But now, it feels like it's just a temporary place that I need to stay with.

I wonder what Jungkook is doing...

Before I left, he was close to once again breaking down. I didn't know we affect each other this much.

So we made an agreement.

One month...

He's giving me one month to fix myself, not entirely of course because no matter how much I tell myself I'm okay. I know I will need time to fully heal. nevertheless, we agreed to see each other again after one month.

And within this month, we decided to stop communicating with each other.

Taehyung said it's stupid but both Jungkook and I think that we need time for ourselves.

We seemed to have gotten too dependent on each other.

My hands formed into knuckles as my grip on my bedsheets tightened.

This waiting game that we've agreed on seemed to be a little harder than I thought. I wonder how long I will be able to prevent myself from crawling back to him.

My eyes landed on my bedside table, a pink envelope resting on top of it. In an instant, my heart started beating rapidly, images of the old events started flashing before me.

My throat started to hurt and I felt the corner of my eyes stinging.

"Mark..." I whispered, my hand landing on my chest. Even uttering his name hurts my entire being.

What could I have done to prevent that incident?

Every day, I ask myself that. But I know accepting his love shouldn't be an option. But no matter how hard I think, I kept coming back to sucking it all up and accepting him, even though I may have lost myself in the process.