MIW - Chris Motionless

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Insomnia

CHRIS

I kept looking down at my phone checking the time, this interview seemed to be going on forever and the interviewer wasn't even that great but we did have a tour to promote.

"I'm sure y/n's okay on the bus by themselves," Ricky whispers, leaning over so that the microphone doesn't pick up our conversation.

Vinny, Ryan and Devin were doing a good job at keeping the interviewer happy because he wasn't paying Ricky and me any attention.

"y/n hasn't slept more than two hours this past week Ricky, so you can understand why I'm worried about them being alone," I respond quietly twiddling my thumbs for a few seconds before continuing, "we don't want another knife incident...insomnia mixed with depression and guilt is a volatile cocktail waiting to go off."

Ricky sighs, "You can't expect y/n to be back to normal this soon after being discharged from hospital Chris. But I understand your concern, y/n is our best friend and your partner."

I shudder, recalling the night I received a phone call from a hospital because I was y/n's emergency contact as they no longer spoke to their family. The guys and I had decided to stay later at the studio and y/n was tired so left early, reassuring me that they'd be fine and I could stay. y/n was driving down the freeway when a lorry overturned in front of their car and several others, causing a major pile up and serious fatalities. There were twelve people involved and y/n was the only survivor.

y/n had brain damage and lots of broken bones and fractures, from being the second car to hit the lorry and then having five other cars crash into theirs going pretty fast because the freeway was quiet for once. The doctors and surgeons weren't sure if they'd make it through surgery, telling me and the guys to come down to say our goodbyes.

y/n pulled through surgery but had to be put in an induced coma to help their brain heal. When they woke up four days later they had lost some of your memory, including the accident and were confused why they were wrapped in casts and bandages and couldn't go home. It was gut wrenching having your significant other not recognise your face or voice but after a further week of showing y/n photos and videos they remembered, including the crash which was all over the news.

y/n wasn't the same after that, they were overcome by survivors guilt and started the slow decline into depression and anxiety before involving into insomnia. I assumed that after six weeks when their leg cast and arm cast were taken off they'd be okay, but y/n refused to sleep saying all you could do was relive the horrors when they closed their eyes.

Motionless In White was due to start a tour and I was worried about leaving y/n in the house alone in their current mental state because they had tried to kill themselves a couple of times. The guys agreed it was best y/n come with us so they weren't alone, and we could all keep an eye on them.

"Thank you for taking the time to talk to me today..."

The interviewer trails off wrapping up the interview, so I take the opportunity to sneak out of camera shot and head back towards the bus to check on y/n. They said they would try and sleep, maybe even take some sleeping pills but y/n was an awful liar.

The bus was quiet when I got back on, the driver outside having a smoke. I see the sleeping pill bottle on the counter unopened and run my fingers through my hair preparing myself to go into the bunk area.

I pull back the bunk curtain of the bunk y/n and I shared to see y/n lying on their side staring blankly at me, the bags under their eyes almost resembling two full black eyes from lack of sleep.

"Did you get any sleep y/n?"

I watch y/n shrug their shoulders, "I got some."

I shake my head, "y/n you're a horrible liar. I've known you long enough to know that."

y/n whispers, "I'm scared. What if I close my eyes and never wake up again? What if I close my eyes and the bus crashes? What if—"

"The world is filled with what if questions y/n. It's normal to be scared but not sleeping is bad for your health. I promise that if you close your eyes I'll still be here when you wake up. I'll always be here with you y/n," I interrupt, and y/n closes their mouth.

I motion with my hand and y/n moves over giving me just enough space to crawl into the bunk. I lie down and make myself comfortable, and after a couple of unsure minutes y/n lies down and puts their head on my chest.

"Do you promise to be here when I wake up Chris?"

I start to run my fingers through y/n's hair and hum, "I promise."

~30 Minutes Later~

"Why is it so quiet back here?" Vinny questions, a little too loud for my liking.

I lean out of the bunk as best as I can without waking y/n who had fallen asleep ten minutes after I started stroking their hair, and glare at Vinny who shrinks back against his boyfriend Ricky who was right behind him.

"Is she asleep?" Ricky mouths and I nod in response.

Ricky ushers Vinny out of the bunk room and shuts the door, hopefully telling the others to leave us alone so y/n could get as much sleep as possible without being disturbed.

Looking down at y/n as they cuddled against me, occasionally whimpering and shaking but mostly sleeping peacefully I smile proudly. Hopefully, this was the start of y/n's healing process, and I would be with them every step of the way.

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