Hanging On

Chapter One

How do you tell your friend that you're in love with her boyfriend? When she asks why you're never around anymore, how do you honestly answer her?

Melanie and I have been friends for a few years now. When she first meant Ronnie, she always said there was no way she ever date him, that he wasn't her type.

Yeah, right.

We all would hang out together, whenever he was home, we all went out, hung at his house, it was the best time. It wasn't hard to fall for him at all. His smile, his laugh, his crazy personality. It was addictive to want to be around him. Then there were the times that we spent alone, those were the best, when all his attention was focused on me.

I made the mistake of telling Melanie how I felt about him, how I wanted to tell him, to see if I even had a chance. She laughed at me saying, "Riley, why would he want you? Look at you. You're no model like he's use to." It hurt, but I knew she was right. I wasn't anything like he was use to. I wasn't one of those girls that would sleep with him on the first date, or the fifth for that matter. I wanted something based on friendship, not just sex. I wanted love and I had wanted it from him.

We went to Ronnie's one night, all of us laughing and having a good time, like we always did. But this time, something was different. The way Melanie hung on his every word, the way she wouldn't let him be too close to me. Or the way she was all over him. He seemed to be enjoying the attention from her, he didn't tell her to stop. Why wouldn't he enjoy it, she was beautiful. She had all the right curves in all the right places, everything he liked, she had. She was everything I wasn't and it pissed me off that she was.

"You're being awfully quite tonight, Ry." I looked at Ronnie and smiled as he looked at me, a look of concern on his face. "You alright, princess?" I rolled my eyes at his name for me, he's called me that since the day I meant him.

Before I could answer him, Melanie pulled him away from me and whispered something in his ear. I saw him look upstairs and smile at her before taking her hand and letting her lead him up them. There was a part of me that wished I was like that. That I could fuck him and have it not mean anything to me. And I was disappointed. Disappointed that he didn't see that he could do so much better than her.

I left right after they disappeared. I couldn't sit in his house, knowing what they were doing, and wait. All the guys tried to get me to stay, told me that it wouldn't be any fun without me, but I made a ton of excuses and left.

They started a relationship right after that and my friendship with Melanie was never the same. She blatantly went after him when I told her I wanted him and she never disagreed. I tried hanging around them a few times, but for me it was too hard watching them. Watching her get to touch him, kiss him, hold his hand. Watching him wrap his arms around her when I wanted to feel them around me more than anything.

So, I stopped going over there. I stopped hanging out with him and his friends altogether. He would call or text periodically, asking if I was alright, when he would see me again. I stopped answering him after a while, I simply ran out of excuses.
* * * * * *
"Come on, Ry, you never hang out with us anymore. Just for a little while, you know you miss me." I laughed as I listened to Michael list all the reasons why I needed to go. "They won't be there, Riley. They're staying home."

"I didn't ask."

"I know. I also know how you feel about him. You should have told him, he totally would have been with you." I sighed and told him I'd meet them at the bar.

I walked in and immediately saw all the guys sitting around a huge table, laughing and having a drink. I smiled as I watched them, I had really missed them all. As I walked closer, Michael moved and I saw Ronnie sitting there, alone. I was about to turn and walk away when our eyes meant and he smiled at me. I took a deep breath and walked closer, gaining the attention of all the guys. We said our hellos and I sat down, at the opposite side of Ronnie, wanting as much distance from him as possible, knowing at any minute Melanie would walk in and I didn't want to be anywhere near them when that happened.