Hanging On

Chapter Eight

Ronnie left for tour shortly after that. We hadn't talked at all, not a word. Michael would call, to see how I'm doing, how the baby was doing. I didn't tell him tell him to much, I knew he was reporting back to Ronnie. If he wanted to know so bad, he could call himself.

I was still working, going to my doctors appointments every month. It was extremely hard not having him here. This was not how I ever pictured my life. I didn't know what was going to happen. Would he want a divorce? Would he decide he wanted our baby? Would we ever work this out? I didn't have any answers.

I knew I loved him, I loved him more than anything. Jonathan said I should go see him, try to work it out. I was scared to death to though. After the way we left everything, I didn't think there would be a chance in hell he'd want me anywhere around him.

They happened to be playing in Vegas tomorrow night and I was dying with not knowing. I wanted him here, I wanted to go home, I wanted to be his wife. I decided that after work tomorrow night, I was going to see him.
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I walked into my apartment after work and hurried to my room to change so I could start the journey to Vegas. I needed to know what we were, what he wanted. I couldn't do this limbo thing anymore. One way or another, I would have my answer tonight.

I got in the car and started driving, listening to his voice the whole car ride there. Jonathan said he would be happy to go with me, but I thought it would be better to go myself. I didn't tell anyone I was coming, I purchased a ticket and hoped I would be able to get back to him. I wasn't even sure if he's want to see me.

I got there and parked the car, walking up to the line, I stood there until I saw the door open and their tour manager come out. He looked at me and smiled, waving me over to him.

"Ronnie didn't say anything about you coming tonight." He had a huge smile on his face.

"That's because I didn't tell him." He laughed and gently put his hand on my arm.

"Well come on, I'll take you to him." I told him thank you and followed behind him as he lead me to the dressing room. "He's right in there. I'll leave you alone. It was awesome to see you again." With that he was gone.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. "Come in." It was now or never. I opened the door and saw him standing with his back to me, looking out the window. I walked in and softly closed the door behind me, not knowing really what to say.

"Ronnie." At the sound of my voice, he turned around and a slight smile covered his face.

"Riley. What are you doing here?"

"I... I had to see you. We haven't talked at all... I didn't know..." He shook his head and looked away.

"We haven't talked because you left. Rememeber?"

"I know. I just... I need to know what you want. Do you still want me?" He just stood there and looked at me, not saying a word, not moving, almost impersonal.

"This isn't the time or place for this conversation, Riley. You shouldn't have come." I felt my stomach drop and knew it was over. He would never want me as long as I was having this baby.

"That's it then. I shouldn't have come? That's all you can say?"

"What do you want me to say, Riley?"

"How about I'm sorry I was a complete jerk? I'm sorry I'm making you deal with this alone? I love you and I want you to come home. Or, I'm sorry I'm making you choose? Any of those would work." He smirked and shook his head. "I don't understand you. You sat there and told me you'd love me forever, no matter what happened. Do you remember that?" He nodded. "I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry it's not what you wanted or on your timeline. But you act like you weren't there, like I got myself pregnant. I need to know if you still want to be married to me or not. I can't live like this anymore, I need to know what you want. Because I want you, Ronnie. Forever. I love you."