A Pirate for the Dead Goddess (Legends of Rahasia Book 2)

Chapter Nine

"What do you see, Ali?" Farzaneh pushes Ali's slick hair behind her ears, drenched in sweat. "What do you see in the shadows?"

"Captain Fisher." She whispers, huddling in on herself. Tongue slurred from drink. "Twitching in the water. Dead. Murdered. His lips are so bruised. Body so swollen." She looks at me, but her eyes aren't really there. "The Akuan killed him. The Akuan, just a child..."

She gasps, as though drowning. Farzaneh crinkles her brow, trying to channel more calm into her. Ali inhales. Exhales. Still afraid, eyes seeing nothing past the dark. "Tell me more. Did you love him?"

"Yes. No. No, he told me I can't love." She laughs, voice rasping, choked out of her by the visions. Her voice alters, mimicking someone else. Mimicking the dead Captain Fisher's. "A courtesan, what kind of courtesan doesn't enjoy lovemaking? But you say you love me. You say. Why are you so unnatural, Ali?" She whimpers, holding her hands over her head, keening back and forth like a child. "Unnatural. Unnatural. I hate you."

"What do you mean, about the lovemaking?" Farzaneh cradles Ali's head in her lap.

I lean down, carefully taking the flask from Ali's corpse-grip fingers, tucking it in one of her pockets. "She's asexual. She wrestled with it, being a courtesan. She thought Captain Fisher would fix her somehow. Instead, she just got caught in a bad relationship."

"That's why she makes all those bawdy jokes. Just trying to prove something to herself." Farzaneh's eyes glow brighter. Ali's breathing slows. Fari's allowed her to sleep, to sleep away the pain of the dark's nightmares. "How did you know that, Lucky? You don't read minds."

"No," I brush myself off, turning to see Xander and Jun holding each other. Jun's massaging Xander's shoulders. The giant's shaking, fearful of the dark. "I just listen to my crew. I listen to their stories. Even if they don't want me to."

Fari looks to me, eyes narrowed, judging. "So, you eavesdrop."

"They don't trust me enough to talk to me."

"You don't trust them by eavesdropping."

I cross my arms, indignant. "Well, I've had to quell quite a few mutinies in my time."

Farzaneh rearranges Ali to sleep in a more comfortable position. Then she goes back to the center of the ship with me. We sit back down, back-to-back. "As I said before, Lucky. You're a good pirate, but a terrible sailor."

"Gee, thanks." I turn back to the horizon, eyes heavy with sleep.

"Here, eat these." Farzaneh hands me a brown sack of bitter beans, disgusting tasting. They smell good though, almost fiery-sweet. "Coffee beans. Will keep us awake through the night."

We chew on the disgusting husks together, keeping watch and occasionally tackling any crew member that tries to bolt for it.

Then, as I think Fari's already fallen asleep, her voice drifts in next to my ear. Strange, as the night took over, everything just dulled into a faint buzzing sound. Like drinking too much and being stuck with the hangover. "What do you think you'll see tonight?"

I chuckle at that. It's funny, that she asks me this. I don't even know why I find it funny. Hurts too much to feel much else, I guess. "I see my nightmares all the time. The bone doctor, promising me to be reborn. Instead, he sliced my guts open without any liquor. Nearly killed me, if Ali hadn't beaten him to his senses to do the job right..." I trail off with a sigh. "There's also the countless people I killed. Stealing their ships' goods, their livelihood just like the world took mine. I'm not a good person, Farzaneh. Only a bad person would roll the dice."

"Well, I know what I see." She points ahead, traces what appears to be a person's silhouette in the air. "I see Gila. Just like when I, no, my other half killed her."

I widen my eyes at that, the way she's kept so quiet. Staring off into the darkness for long periods, and I thought it was just the dark that captivated her. Not the shadows in it. "You haven't said anything all this time."

"Your breathing is loud enough to distract me." I snort at that. She snickers with me. "You remind me I'm living. Gila's a part of me, but she's gone." She turns then, popping another bitter coffee bean into her mouth. "And we're here." She trails off then, watching Xander, the giant curled up like a baby in Jun's tinier arms. "It must be why those two are staying sane. They've got one another."

It's true. The whole time, Jun whispers to Xander to not fear the darkness, massages the brand on his neck, telling him the fire and pain is over now. And Xander, well, I can't hear what he says. Maybe he reassures Jun that the Kona's crew is her new family, even if the Dragon Veil gang isn't there for her anymore. Maybe he says...

I love you.

"What do you see now, Lucky?"

I look out towards the shadows. I see eyes, glass-green. Skin sun-brown. Rust-dark hair curling off shoulders, a red cloak worn through no matter how hot. Enchanted chains on her wrists. The mark of an exile from a coven.

I see you.

My fingers itch to reach for the dice. For some reason, the hallucination makes me want to end it. To jump overboard. To wrap myself in her arms. To risk being ridiculed. To risk being told I'm not good enough for Farzaneh. I... I don't know what I would do if she laughed at me. If she said I wasn't man enough. If I wasn't good enough. If I was cruel. Gods know I'm a shit sailor, as she says, even if I'm a good pirate.

Your father abandoned you. Your mother and uncle slaughtered. Fingers broken. A bone doctor patched you together after ripping you apart. And Farzaneh, you shielded her from everything. Show her. Show her what it means to experience cruelty like you have. The dice, or maybe it's Lune's haunting waters. The image of Farzaneh, her ethereal self, dancing in the darkness. Roll the dice.

Inhale. Exhale.

Inhale. Exhale.

The dice don't control you. You do.

"Nothing." I tell her, wrapping my fish-scale jacket tighter around myself. Handing her one of the moth-eaten horse blankets we stole off an Idriolan merchant ship. "Nothing at all."

***

Hey Pirates,

Lucky: What is this bewitching drink you've given me, Farzaneh?

Farzaneh: (eyes glowing and chanting a few words under her breath) It is called... coffee.