Chapter 9

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My mother came home just after midnight acting like a teenager who'd broken curfew. I watched with hooded eyes as she snuck past the upstairs living room where Nancy and I had crashed while watching movies. She didn't even pause to check on us, and I was afraid to ask why.

Turning my head from the hall to the couch, I watched silently as Nancy's chest rose and fell. After a moment holding my breath, I looked back to the hallway and exhaled. Something was going on with my mom. Why else would she avoid me? If I didn't question her now, she would be gone by morning.

I threw off my blanket and followed her lavender scent to her bedroom door, knocking with a single rap before letting myself think through what I was doing. Exhausted or not, I needed her to bind my abilities before I wound up torching something.

"Mom?"

Muffled speech sounded through the door. Thinking it was a cue to enter, I let myself in. Still in her jacket and looking as though she hadn't slept in days, my mother was staring down at the cell phone she'd just closed and tears that didn't fall glistened in her eyes.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

She looked up, startled, and tried to mask her reaction behind a smile. A moment passed and then she looked down, clutching her phone in both hands. "Nothing. It's just been a long day."

"How was your meeting?" I crossed to the middle of the room and sat on the oak trunk at the foot of her bed, the one piece of furniture that didn't have a sleek, shiny finish.

"It was fine. What did you do?"

"Me?" I pulled my legs underneath me, pausing until she draped her jacket on the back of her rocker and sat. No way was I telling her about the garden. Instead, I said, "Slept, then Nancy came over. She's in the living room, by the way. I was waiting for you but got bored, so we threw movies on and ordered pizza. You know, since we have no groceries?"

"I'm sorry, I'll grab some—"

I lifted my hand and flicked my wrist. "Oh, and since you left without binding me, my bedroom walls are black." I turned my palm to her, keeping my hand in the air as she opened her mouth. "Before you get mad, I was sleeping when it happened, so it's not my fault."

She leaned forward in the rocking chair and rested her elbows on her knees. "Do you like the walls being black?"

"I like not having my abilities. I mean, even if I wanted it, redecorating my room isn't going to make me accept them. In fact, just the opposite, considering I was asleep and had zero control over it."

"I was hoping you would choose to embrace them." She sighed and leaned back again. The curtains hanging in front of the open balcony door ruffled behind her in the midnight breeze. My mother looked outside for a moment and then slowly turned back to me. "Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes." I cocked my head, studying her. "Unless you have a reason why I shouldn't? Other than what you've already told me."

She twisted her hands together and smiled with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "No. Just remember, this is the last time."

"Why?" As I watched her, I recognized for the first time—maybe because it was so familiar to me after four years—the burden of secrets weighing on her. Whatever they were, holding them in slumped my mother's shoulders and dimmed the natural spark in her eyes.

"I've told you why, Nora." She stood and walked over to me to reach out and pull me up by my hands. Once I faced her, she said, "I'm only doing this because I love you. I'm trying to understand your choice, but I know you can do things you haven't dreamt of yet."

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