My Thoughts And Other Randomness

Short Ronni Thing

   Keep in mind... My best friend, my soul mate, my person, the girl I loved... Killed herself 2 months ago.. She put up a damn good fight after her sister was killed in their wreck.. But she couldn't take the pain. The guilt. The nightmares. The seeing her sister.. She couldn't take it. 2 months after she died,Danni went back to drinking and drugs. I guess she found that as her escape.. I lost her sister roughly 4 months ago. And then lost Danni 2 months after that..

  Since Danni's death... Life has been hell. Danni made it all better. Her smile was so bright and beautiful.. I got lost in her dark, chocolate eyes with freckles underneath. I loved her smirk. She had this.. Devilish yet angelish thing to her. She could be the greatest person you ever met,until you fucked up. Then, you might have wanted to get the hell out of town.
   She was taller then me. Braver. More confident. If it wasn't for her approaching me the night we met,I probably wouldn't have said a word to her. Although she was so eye catching.. And all she was wearing?  A pair of jeans.. Converse.. Her hoodie,that I later stole, and a white hat she wore backwards. But her smile, her smooth voice, her short black hair, her contagious laughter.. That made me so appealed about her.
   When she just happened to look my way with a slight smile that night,I swore my heart stopped, and I forgot how to breathe. It wasn't until she started walking my way, did I snap out of it. When she said hello, my world was complete. I didn't know what it was about her, but she was so... Gorgeous.
   'Back to reality.' I told myself as I felt a warm,salty tear fall. I wiped my tear,and looked down at the pictures of her,of us. I felt my heart shatter even more,and I didn't even think that was possible.. Now I know it is.

      ~~~~

  I saw Danni. She was waiting for me, with a huge,loving smile. I couldn't help but to run to her, and almost knock her down with a hug. After her being gone a month on that stupid trip, I missed her so much. She hugged me tight, and I buried my face in her shoulder. I enabled the sweet scent I had missed. She didn't let go until I did. I pulled away with tears,"I've missed you." Danni smiled slightly and wipe away my tears gently,"I've missed you too."
  I hugged her again,and let go. She held out her hand,"C'mon. It's date night." I took it of course,and followed.
   After the date,after catching up,after tons of laughs and smiles.. We were at her truck. She looked at me with that smile,and my heart melted. She wrapped her arms around my waist-

   ~~~~

  When I woke up,I half expect Danni to be there. But seeing she wasn't, it broke me. I didn't know if I could keep doing this. I looked at her empty side of the bed, and saw her hoodie I kept there. Tears threatened to spill,and I grabbed it,hugging it close.
  "Why did you leave? IT'S NOT FAIR!" I said,the tears winning and fell. I buried my head in her hoodie. I thought I was still dreaming when I heard Danni say my name. I looked up,and saw her. "I'm sorry,but I couldn't deal with losing my sister. Not when it was my fault." She said. I knew I had to be dreaming at this point.
  "But you left me! I thought you loved me!" I yelled in anger and hurt,and threw the hoodie at where she stood,and she disappeared. Tears fell more,"I was the one to find you.. I tried. I tried so hard to save you... But who would save me.." I whispered quietly.
   Remembering coming home,the door locked.. It made me worry. The door was never locked when Danni was home. I unlocked the door,and called out Danni's name. And only silence answered. My heart raced,and my mind wondered. I called her again.. Nothing. I went through the house,and when I got to the kitchen and saw a letter with my name,my heart dropped. I quickly realized Danni's handwriting.. And I picked it up.

Rose,
  I want to you remember me, and all the good times. The happy times... I don't want you to remember the pain. The fights, or all the times we got mad and walk out on each other. Remember the night we met? I do. Remember when I officially asked you out? I do. I remember it all as if it just happened. I want you to take what's in the bottom in the envoplope.. And remember I love you. But I couldn't live with killing my sister.. I love you..
  Forever & Always,
     Danni.
~~~~
   I stared to run through the house. I got to the bathroom door,it was closed and locked. "DANIELE PEYTON REBEL!" I yelled with tears,I banged and banged with no answer. I hit the door just the right way with my body and it flung open with a loud bang. My heart stopped when I saw her,lifeless on the floor. Her glow was gone. I'd never hear her voice again. Her laugh. I'd never feel her warmth again.. I tried so hard to wake her up. I ignored the cuts down her wrist, and screamed her name. I screamed for help,I called 911.. And they pronounced her dead on sight. I fought with them of how she couldn't be gone. They had to force me to leave. When Danni left,she took my everything with her..
~~~~

Everything hit me at once. It knocked me to my knees. I picked up her hoodie,and hugged it tight. "I cant deal with this,Danni.." I whispered,my voice breaking.
  Looking up seeing her again,I stood. "Why? How am I supposed to do this?" She was silent. 'I'm going crazy..' I thought to myself. 
   "I thought the same thing those times I saw my sister." Danni spoke. My attention snapped to her,"I.. You can talk?"
  She smiled,the same smile she use to have when I would ask something stupid. "I'm dead. Not mute."
   My heart stopped,"I want to be with you so bad.."
  She frowned,"Its not your time,babygirl." Hearing her say that,the tears hit again.
  She dissapeared. And I was left alone.

~~~~

Seeing Danni went on for about another month or two. But I had gotten to where I couldn't deal with it anymore. I stood in the bathroom,and looked at myself in the mirror.
   It didn't bother me when she appeared,"Rose.."
  I shook my head,"No. You,you don't get to talk me out of it." Danni looked pained by that,and I had made myself believe she was all in my head. I looked at the mirror as she disappeared again. I took the blade in my hand.. I went down my right wrist, and then the second.
   After minutes passed,I felt dizzy. Everything was getting fuzzy. There was this ringing,and then I felt my body hit the ground. It only hurt for a moment before I was met with deafening whiteness and silence. Everything went black, and suddenly Danni was there. With her sister. They had sad smiles. I ran and attacked Danni with a hug,and she tightly hugged back. "I've miss you.." I said. She smiled sadly again,"I've missed you too." Danni said.

  And suddenly... The people we loved losted all three of us. But we were together again,and happy.

~~~~

Don't ask. Some parts are from a dream I had. Others are simply my mind imagining.