⌠♚⌡▰▱ ℰмρїяℯ ››☠‹‹ ＷＡＲＳ▐⌦ Watty Awards

Nothin' Else T'Kill-Primetime Tonight! Media conference! *Teaser

Hey everyone! I'm WAY behind on uploading, and school's almost starting, so I am SWAMPED. However, I hope this humorous interview with our beloved (murderous) cast of Empire Wars! On the side is a slideshow approximating how they would look (although, personally, I must've been crazy to cast Cameron Bright as Onyx, replacement suggestions, anyone?), and note that the hair/eye colors aren't exactly perfect!

This is dedicated to all my beloved fans of Empire Wars <3

Oh, and Kiers only gets one photo because it's partially his fault that Aya _______! That will be revealed in the next chapter! xD

Please comment and let me know what you thought of it! Vote? <3

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Celeste "Aetila" Sarastro: Hey everyone! It's your host CAS, and welcome to Atlantis Today, where we are airing live our interview with none other than the Pride of our Galaxy! Also, later today on the show, we're going to be having a once-in-a-lifetime special guest, yup, you guessed it, his majesty, THE lifeblood of Estonni, Emperor Sswyvy!

Audience: [/screams and cheers like maniacs]

CAS: Awesome! Please give a warm welcome to; the cunning, the clever, THE death guru, your very own! He hates being called "prince", and HE'S, LORD KIERS RE ATLANTIS!

Kiers: [/expressionless amazement, while the crowd gets scared with his morbid insomnia-affected eyes]

CAS: Hello Lord Kiers! We've specially adjusted the chair higher for you! [/beams]

Kiers: [/glares and laboriously climbs onto six-foot elevated chair] Hi [/grumbles]

CAS: So, we hear you and your friends come from a town called "Lonesville" in the Knoxic Galaxy, tell us; what's it like there?

Kiers: Miserable. [/frank tone]

CAS: How?

Kiers: I nearly get shot every night, people get raped in random alleyways, the sun is getting a bit too strong for my marijuana supply, and it's intercepting my endeavors as a "biologist" specifically in the fields of " 'remedial' botany'" and as a "marketing and distributions authority" and "business entrepreneur." [/bored expression] However, that's not NEARLY as bad as the fact that they also don't have internet in most parts, so I can't illegally torrent horror films-yes, they are FILMS. Not MOVIES. Torture and mutilation are FILM subjects-or books! [/barely holding temper] Winston also won't let me use his laptop! [/scowls]

CAS: That's . . . um . . . very interesting, my lord. Moving along; rumor has it that you don't get along very well with your siblings, Lord Jeremiah and Lady Aya, is that true? If so, if you had the last bullet in the universe, who would you shoot?

Kiers: Hmm, that's hard . . . >.>

Actually, I would go to Onyx and have him divide the bullet, so I can terminate both of them.

CAS: Very . . . clever. [/sweatdrops] Um, out of curiosity, what is your favorite publication?

Kiers: Definitely "Chainsaw Massacre 3: Purgatory Genocide"; it's absolutely awesome. The main character, Iraidn's name is taking from the "iron maiden", and she can build one in ten minutes flat; how utterly epic is that? Her best friend, the Zombie King, also has rotting flesh steamrolled all over him, although he essentially is an indestructible skeleton! I find it fascinating how they force their victims to catch knives and run barefoot over a field of microshocking electrical open wires to get their blood circulating, and perfectly time when all of it culminates in base of the skull, then they decapitate the victim and drink through the dug-out eyes!