Unsustainable [VKOOK]

House of Cards

Jungkook sighs as he remains sitting alone in his car, parked in front of the place that is supposed to be home. He's been staying like that for a few minutes already, but he still doesn't feel brave enough to get out and enter the building. Truth is, he doesn't really want to go back there.

He's been doing that for long weeks now, maybe even months, as he knows what is waiting for him inside of these walls: either a heavy, awkward silence, either cries and shouts as the two of them get in a fight and argue until the end of the night. It's so tiring, he doesn't feel like he's got the strength to do it anymore. The problems he's facing with his husband are like a huge stone on his shoulders, crushing him a little bit more every second of his life. If he waits a bit longer, his spine is going to break from the pressure.

The only moments he can breathe are when he's at work, teaching French to his students without having to bear with Taehyung's presence. University is like a shelter for him, where his husband's shouts and reproaches can't reach him anymore. Thus, he spends more and more time there, coming back home later every night. To be honest, he's sometimes done with his work early, but he finds excuses not to leave.

The raven-haired male knows it can't keep going like this. He's pretty sure his husband knows it too, but they're both burying their heads in the sand, delaying the inevitable as much as possible. It's stupid, Jungkook thinks, because it will only make the break-up even more painful, but it's hard to stop denying and to face such a big problem as a divorce. Who will keep the apartment? Who will get the couch? The television? All these things they bought together? Where will they live afterwards? With whom? Jungkook is tired only from thinking about it. But they'll have to do it eventually, it's not like they can put the pieces back together. They will never be like before ever again, Jungkook is sure about it.

Finally, he gathers his courage before getting out of the vehicle, slowly walking towards the door only to gain a few more seconds. Once he's in there, he feels his shoulders slumping even more, and he walks the stairs leading to their apartment with heavy steps. Much to his disappointment the well-known door appears within his sight too quickly, but he forces himself to open it and walks inside, the whole flat being pitched-black.

He heaves a sigh of relief when he understands Taehyung already went to bed. It's almost midnight, after all... Jungkook is always the last to close the university's door, so that he almost never spends the evening with his husband anymore, let alone eats dinner with him. But it's better this way, he thinks. It's not like any of them really wants it anyway.

Jungkook takes the time to eat at least a little, but to be fair he's not that hungry. Thus, he's quick to go to bed, or rather to the sofa, as the living room has become his bedroom by now. It's been weeks already, and it makes his back hurt more and more due to the hardness of the couch, but he prefers this than entering the bed and having to bear with all that space between his husband and himself. It used to be different, before. They slept so close to each other, and it was so agreeable, so warm... Now the bed feels cold, and so does Jungkook's heart.

He falls asleep on the couch after that exhausting day, wondering if he'll ever feel alive again.

–-

Taehyung wakes up alone, his eyes widening when he sees the numbers on the clock before he reminds himself that today is Saturday. He gets up from the bed, drowsily walking towards the kitchen, and he stops for a second when he realises his husband is here. They usually avoid having breakfast together, but it seems like they failed today.

"Hey." The latter greets him, suddenly very interested in the steaming bowl of coffee in front of him.

"Hey..." Taehyung replies, heart beating in nervousness. He now remembers what they're up to today: they're hosting their common friends, Jimin and Hoseok, which means that they'll have to pretend they're happy for a few hours. Taehyung has never been really good at pretending, and he knows Hoseok is suspecting something, but he doesn't really feel like telling him what happens between Jungkook and him at the moment. He didn't really want to invite them in the first place, as he knows this flat isn't what you can call the most welcoming place in the world, but Jungkook insisted to have them here for his birthday. Taehyung didn't want any more arguments, so that he agreed without protesting.