Unsustainable [VKOOK]

Love is not Over

"I was in love with Yoongi."

Jimin's eyes widen impossibly at the revelation, his plump lips slightly parting in shock, but he doesn't say anything, too stunned to do so. Thus, Hoseok keeps speaking with an unsure voice, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. Tears haven't stopped running down his cheeks, even if the loud sobs he was still uttering minutes ago have finally disappeared, turning into light sniffles. It's as if the feelings he kept for himself during decades can't be contained anymore, showing themselves through tears and words.

"I-It all began in high school... I had never met him before, as he was studying in another city... One day, I visited Taehyung after he came back for holidays. He was so beautiful... I mean, it wasn't only about his appearance - he was beautiful inwardly too. But of course, you know that... Anyway, the first time we met, we talked a lot about psychology, which was a subject I had gotten interested in a few months ago, and he told me he had just finished his psychology thesis. I think he's the one who inspired me to work in that field... It was just so captivating to speak with him, I felt like he knew so much and that I didn't know anything, and not only when we spoke about psychology. We had some kind of connection, something between us that was different from anything I had ever encountered with other people. But Taehyung told me that he had a girlfriend, and that he would marry her in a year. I had wanted to ask him out, even though I doubted I had any chance with him. But after this, I told myself that I didn't want to involve someone other than the two of us, as his wife definitely wouldn't have appreciated that. So I ended up keeping it a secret, even if my feelings never disappeared until... until three years ago. I've never wanted to tell anyone, because I felt like one way or another, this secret would arrive to Yoongi's ears if I spoke. Also, I didn't want to burden you all... So, yeah... I'm sorry for hiding that from you, Minnie. I should have told you... At least, it would have made me feel better."

A long silence follows his tirade, Jimin's pudgy fingers all warm around his skinny digits, and they squeeze Hoseok's hand after a while, making the said man relax a little bit. It doesn't seem like his friend resents him, at least...

"You've kept this for yourself... during eighteen years?" Jimin asks, his voice almost a murmur, and Hoseok nods even though he knows the shorter male wasn't actually waiting for an answer. "Oh God, Seokkie... It must have been so tough, you were all alone with your problems... We could have helped you..." Jimin is trying hard to understand, yet he can't believe that his friend has hidden such an important thing from them for so long.

"I know... I'm sorry, really sorry, Jimin." He replies, lifting his free hand in order to wipe the tears still dripping down his face, but Jimin gently swats it away and replaces it by his own fingers. Hoseok sighs at the kind gesture, closing his eyes and feeling that these ones are finally beginning to run out of salty droplets.

Jimin keeps fondling him for a few minutes, eventually gently brushing all over his face with the back of his fingers as there aren't any tears to wipe anymore. He feels guilty, so guilty at the thought he let his friend live in sorrow for decades and didn't notice anything. Now, all he wants is to make it up for him, and to take care of Hoseok so that the latter can finally feel appeased after everything he went through. That's why he applies a long, tender kiss on his cheek, and much to his surprise Hoseok turns his head towards him the moment he leans back, their noses brushing in the process.

"Wh-what are you doing?

-I just... I need you..." Hoseok's tone is hushed, as if they weren't alone in the apartment and that they should keep their voices down so that no one would hear.

"Is that reasonable? I mean, Taehyung and Jungkook-" Jimin tries to protest, for the same reasons he explained to Hoseok an hour ago: their situation is already complicated, and he doesn't want to make it even more complex by becoming Hoseok's boyfriend, or sex-friend, or whatever what they're on the verge to do would imply. Yet Hoseok cuts him, already knowing what he's going to say: