In the Middle of the Bed (A Saira Collings Story)

August 8, 2012 (Forest's Story)

This is going to be harder than I thought to write out. This death hit me harder than all the others combined. Except for maybe my family.

To be truthful, this death actually started months before the final breath was taken.

In college, I had a boyfriend named Luke. And one time he tried to rape me.

I'll spare you the details. The only points you need to know is that I got away, and he chased me. Being drunk, he had swerved off the road and crashed, killing himself.

With my backstory, you can probably guess where that lead me.

Forest found me, bleeding from multiple cuts on my legs and arms. I had looked up at him, tears staining my cheeks and eyes.

He had saved me that time. And he had promised not to tell Myra or Chenelle. Which was going to be hard for him, since he told Chenelle everything.

A few weeks later, the three of them had convinced me to go to a bonfire party that some college kids were having.

Eveb though I hated the sight of fire-given my experiences with it-I went to appease the others. Forest kept glancing at me throughout the entire car ride, but I ignored him and kept driving.

When we got there, the party was under way beneath a shining black sky dotted with stars. I hung back near the car while the other three went off to talk to people they knew.

Hours passed by the fire. People were dancing all around. I kept to the edges, never straying near the flames.

Then, I got a tingle down my spine. I glanced over to my left, and saw Mikey, one of Luke's friends, pinning Chenelle against a tree.

I'm moving before my brain registers my legs pumping. I sprint across the clearing, pushing through dancing people, frantic to get to my friend.

When I get to where Mikey and Chenelle were, I only see Chenelle. I look around wildly, and see Forest marching off into the woods with Mikey in tow.

I barely kneel by my friend when the gunshot rips through the air.

It tears through the dancing people like a knife, shattering the music.

Someone starts screaming. Soon, everyone is stampeding out of the field, trying to get away from the origin of the horrible sound.

Calmly, I leave Chenelle where she crouches with wild eyes, and walk towards where Forest and Mikey entered the woods.

I find them by a small stream.

Mikey is facing upward, a blank look on his face. His eyes are open and sightless. Red blood spills out of a hole in his chest.

Forest stands beside the body, looking down at the lifeless face. The gun I had bought him for his twenty-second birthday hangs loosely in his left hand.

I step on a stick, and Forest looks over at me. The utter pain and horror in his eyes has me pausing for a second.

I've seen that look before, reflected in the mirror every morning.

I hold out my hand, and my friend, after a second, puts his hand in mine. His skin is warm, too warm.

I lead him back to the big field, picking up Chenelle along the way. I drive all of us home, keeping my eyes on the road and not Forest looking out the window with a broken expression on his face.

A few months later, Forest comes into my room in the dorms. I gave him a key after he had broken down my door months ago.

With a purely serious expression on his face, he told me to gather all the pills I could and to meet him at Adromeda's Bar. Then, he left without another word.

My mind puzzled about it as I gathered all the pills I could. My heart was screaming at me to stop, but every time I tried, all of my scars gave painful twinges.

I drove to Adromeda's Bar, which was one of my old hangouts when I was younger. I had introduced the group to it the year before; it became our normal hangout spot.

I met Forest out back, where a small fenced-in yard was shaded by a huge oak tree.

Now that I was looking, I saw a spirit walking around Forest. It was Mikey. He glared daggers at me, though a small smile curled his lips.

Forest watched my every move as I climbed over the fence.

"Give me the bottle, Sare," he says. I stop before him, and fold my arms over my hoodie. The deadness of his voice sends shivers running down my spine, but I hold firm to the plan I had concocted on the drive here.

"Not until you tell me why you want to die," I say back in the same dead voice.

Forest glares silently at me, then seems to make a decision.

He sighs, and I see the tension leave his shoulders. "It's Mikey. He won't leave me alone. He won't stop giving me nightmares. It's driving me crazy."

"And that's enough reason to die?" I ask, anger tinging my words. Forest looks at me, and I see a bottomless anger in hos eyes that I've never noticed before.

"You tell me, Saira. Were you bleeding in that tub based solely off of Luke's death, or was it dreams as well? Those other scars, are those only people as well?"

Anger lights within me, and I snap,"You have no idea about my past, Forest. You don't know where all my scars come from. And you never will."

"No," Forest says quietly, causing me to pause. "I won't."

Fast as light, Forest grabs the bottle of pills from my hoodie pocket. Before I can even make a sound, he opens it and gulps all of them down.

We stand there and stare at each other. Forest speaks then, words that I will never forget until the day I die. And maybe not even then.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself because of me." A choked sound escapes my throat as Forest drops to the ground.

I don't kneel beside him as I say,"I can't."

I stand there and watch as my closest friend dies. I don't call the cops, or an ambulance, or anyone. I hardly breathe. I hardly think.

Then, like a robot, I climb back over the fence. I walk to my car, and drive back to campus.

I shut myself in my room for months. I don't answer anyone. I hardly eat.

I gained about sixty scars from that single death.

Forest's shard of glass is red. His scar runs from my left shoulder to my right hip. A perfect mirror reflection of Carson's scar. My brother and the only boy who was something close and more.