shattered | dear evan hansen

twenty-three

tw: mentions of suicide attempt

Jared searched the halls for Evan. He was worried and knew something was going on, but he wasn't exactly sure what.

Eventually he spotted Evan at his locker.

"Evan! Hey, I've been looking everywhere for you."

Evan ignored him and tried to walk away but Jared grabbed his wrist quickly, stopping him.

"I have to go to class." Evan said firmly, but quietly.

"Well I need to talk to you."

"No, you don't."

Evan tried to pull away but Jared tightened his grip.

"Let go Jared."

Jared ignored him. "What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Evan snapped.

"Evan, I'm really worried about you."

"Leave me alone."

His voice sounded shaky, almost like he was crying. Jared wasn't sure though because he was looking down, hiding his face.

"Evan-"

Before Jared could say anything else Connor approached them.

"Well aren't you two cute together."

Evan moved so Jared was in front of him, hiding him. He bit his lip and tried not cry but it didn't work.

"What's your problem Connor?"

"Ask him." He nodded at Evan and walked past them.

"Evan?"

Evan shook his head and sank to the floor against the lockers. Jared sat next to him.

"What's wrong?" Jared whispered.

"Everything." Evan hugged his knees to his chest, hiding his tear streaked face.

"Hey you can tell me. I'm not going to judge you or anything."

"Yeah you will, just like you did last year."

"What are you talking about?"

Evan sighed.

"You made fun of me, last year. Remember?"

Jared didn't remember that, at all. He had no idea what Evan was talking about. He hadn't even talked to Evan before he found his number.

"I don't remember that..."

"Well you did!" Evan stood up. "It was after I-" He stopped.

Jared stood up slowly. "After you what?" He asked quietly.

Evan looked distant. "I can't tell you. I'm not supposed to."

"Evan, what did you do?" Jared asked more sternly. He was really confused and worried and it was time he started getting answers.

"I t-tried to overdose." Evan whispered. It sounded forced almost, like he wanted to tell him but he couldn't.

Jared immediately hugged him tightly and Evan started crying again.

"They told me to do it, I didn't want to but they told me I had to."

"Who told you?"

"Everyone."

Jared just assumed he meant the kids at school. Most of them were jerks anyways so it made sense. "It's okay Evan."

"That's why Connor doesn't like me. We used to be friends and now he hates me."

Jared let go and looked at him. His hair was a tangled mess and his eyes were red and puffy. "Evan, why don't you go wash your face real quick and I'm gonna-"

"Don't do it." Evan cut him of quickly. "Don't talk to Connor."

"I promise it'll be okay, I just need to ask him something."

"No."

"Fine. I won't."

Evan nodded and walked off to the bathroom. Jared quickly went to go find Connor before Evan got back. He found him sitting by one of the trash cans with his earbuds in, waiting for the bell to ring. He stood up when he saw Jared.

"Why aren't you friends with Evan anymore?" Jared asked immediately.

"What?"

"You heard me. How come you stopped being his friend."

Connor sighed. "We were really good friends for a while but then he just got...weird. He started accusing me of doing stuff that I hadn't done and getting mad at me for it. He would start yelling at me out of nowhere and then later pretend everything was fine. His mom said he just had some kind of mental illness or something, I don't remember. All I know is he's crazy."

That's when Jared got angry. He grabbed Connor by the collar of his shirt (despite the hight differences) and  pushed him against the wall.

"Don't ever call him crazy again. Understand?" He whispered.

Connor nodded, clearly nervous but trying to hide it. Jared let go and went back to the spot where Evan had left him and waited.

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hello, i finally stopped procrastinating