You are my Shannon

We need you!

Gibbs pov

it been a week since Tony called Ziva, Kate, she's hurt by it she's trying to block out the world and I have no idea how to help, well I do Dinozzo needs to get his stupid memory back.

Yesterday I gave him a head-slap, it made me remember when I lost my memory but it didn't work.

I honesty don't think Tony will remember, but I know he has to for Ziva and Peanut. She looks terrible, she has dark circles and bags under her eyes, she's too pale almost like a ghost. She's taking this really hard, she's only eating for the baby but as little as possible, she hasn't spoken to anyone, all she does is lay on her bed staring out the window with her back to everyone, if anyone walks over to face her she closes her eye's to hide herself, she's really struggling and only Tony can fix it, but I only have one idea left and to be honest I don't think this will work.

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Abby's pov

I went to see Ziva everyday but she ignores me, that's the one I hate about her, she bottles everything up inside and tried to deal with it herself blocking out the world until she has resolved it, I know she's hurting but she doesn't have to do it alone. what I'd Tony never remembers? It's not like she's not have gunna have anyone, or have the baby alone the rest of the family will be there to help, why can't she see that?

Today is Friday and I've come to see Ziva in my lunch break

"Hey Zi"

"..."

" you don't have to do it alone you know, we're all here for you"

"but your not Tony" She's replies as quietly add possible, but she spoke for the first time since the naming mishap with Tony

"no, but we are your family and we're gunna get through this together"

" that's sweet I guess, but I have lost my family so has Peanut. I wanted to being them into a loving family a loving home. I know your gunna say 'but we're family' and I know you all are but I mean my little family me, Tony and Peanut, it's not the same. I wanted everything I always to make them have a happy childhood with and ima and abba that would crawl to the ends of the earth for them to feel loved and safe. But it's all gone Abby"

"Ziva it's not that bad"

" I know your only trying to help but you have no idea what it's like. You've had a loving family and siblings, I've lost all that Ari, Tali, Ima and abba, you have no idea what it's like to finally feel loved in a perfect little family ima, abba, children, a dog! I don't mean to hurt you or anything but please stop trying to understand you'll only just yourself in the end. I love you Abby and our family but it's different to DNA family. I love everyone in our family it's just before all this is whay I wanted ever since my ima died"

"Oh Ziva, I'm so sorry"

" no Abby, I really appreciate everything you've done and I apologise for ignoring you, but if you don't mind if really like to be alone, please"

" Of course Ziva, I'll see you tomorrow"

"okaai bye Abby"

well that was unexpected, Tony better remember soon.

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Ziva's pov

I feel bad for Abby she's only trying to help but it just gets a bit much sometimes, all I want is some space so I can think and for Tony to remember.

I've started getting bad morning sickness, I wish was here to help me well he can't help me bit he comforts me and makes me feel better and safe. I haven't told him about the twins yet, I don't know if I should I mean it's a lot for him to take in, me, us together and a baby I don't want to make him worse.

Nobody knows but everyday I've went to his room, I nevet go in I always look at him through the window and ask the nurses or doctors if he's okaai and if he'll remember, I'd would be good to get an answer that isn't 'I don't know'.

I don't think I've needed anyone more in my life than I need Tony right now.

I go to Tony's room like I have done everyday but he's not they're and I start panicking what if somethings wrong? What if he died? Maybe he fell?  Great with all my I start to struggle breating and a couple of nurse's come running over

"miss are you alright?"

" Tony??"   the nurses don't reply they just give each other episodes looks

"Where's Tony??"

"miss you need to calm down"

"no I need to know if Tony's okaai"

"what's all the fuss about?"

" Tony your okaai"  seeing him okaai helps me calm down, but the fact that the nurses didn't tell me he was okaai made me furious. I clenched my fists and then Gibbs comes running over and holds me back before I hit them.

"ziva calm down"

"I'm calm. Why wouldn't I be calm? it's like I panicked when the father of Peanut disperses and the nurses made out like he was dead AGAIN!"

"Ziva stress is bad for Peanut, calm"

I calm down and turn to face Gibbs

" good??"

"good"   I wasn't convincing my eyes started watering and it quickly turned into full on crying.  Gibbs pulled me into his chest and held me there while Tony was just standing there. I new the only person who could calm me down would be Tony or I would continue until my eyes ran out of tears.

My eyes are tightly shut and I'm still crying, I feel Gibbs move slightly and loosen his holds on me and another person hold me tighter.. It was Tony,  I've waited for what felt like forever for him to hold me, for me to inhale his scent. He pulled me tight into his chest and stroked my hair, and I calmed down after a few minutes. But he continues to hold me there and I don't move, I stay because I don't know whether he's ever going to hold me again.

He loosens his grip so he's holding me loosely and looks into my eyes

" hey I'm sorry I don't remember and that I've caused, seeing you crying brow my heart and made me want to cry it's like even though I don't remember your still in my heart. And if it's okaai with you I'd really like to be there for you the baby, but I don't know about what I feel about you yet I don't even know yoy" that wasn't expected he wants the baby but not me?

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Tony's pov

I move one of my hands from her bank to her side, I really want to feel the baby but I don't know if she'll let me.

"it's okaai Tony" she says in the sweetest voice, she grabs my hand from her side to her stomach, it's like she can read my mind

"I can't read your mind Tony, but I can read your eyes. and I would love more than anything for you to be here for us, but I mean us Tony, you can't just be there for Peanut whenever you feel like it, your there for pregnancy, birth, when peanut is first born, birthdays, Christmas few times a week or every other weekend. We both know what it's like for our father's not to be there and I won't have it for them. It's all in or not at all" She's says and then a nurse comes and takes Ziva back to her room. I wonder where Gibbs went? What about Peanut? I don't know what to do all these thoughts running through my head as I walk back into my room but I fall and hit my and blanc out.

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what do you think of the drama??

Please comment and vote. Thankyou all so much for reading and voting ~ jazzie ♡