How to Make a Sandwich FOR MORONS

Set-up and Bread Layout

It is understood that the reason you cannot make a sandwich is the same reason you can't walk, so have someone help you find the ingredients and lay them out from left to right on the kitchen counter like so:

1. Bread Loaf with twisty-tie facing forward

2. Peanut butter jar

3. Jelly Jar

4. Pile of napkins on top of one another

5. Plate

Also on the table, there will be a knife placed in front of the jar of peanut butter.

Once your friend has helped you in setting up for your task, you can begin by laying out the bread on the "plate", like so:

1. Locate the figure which has been twisted up around at the front of the plastic wrap encasing solid, brown, rectangular material within, a.k.a. "the bread loaf", which is the object on the far left of all the objects.

2. Carefully grab the two extruded tips of the latter figure, also known as a "twisty-tie", one tip in each hand, and twist the tips around each other in a certain direction. If it becomes difficult to twist the twisty-tie, try grabbing each tip in the previous fashion, rotating in the opposite direction than rotated before.

3. When the twisty-tie suddenly comes into the shape of a "U", bend the "U" shaped twisty-tie into a straight figure, and set it on the left of the plastic case for the bread loaf.

4. Reach into the now open plastic case and lightly grab a single " bread slice", or slab of spongy tan matter with a thin, brown, harder matter (a.k.a. crust) that runs along the edge of the broad face of the slab.

5. Place the bread slice on the smooth, mostly flat plate that was also placed on the table on the far-right. The spongy tan matter should face upward.

6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 once again, placing the second bread slice adjacent to the first and onto the plate.

7. Stand up all the bread slices in the plastic enclosure into their original vertical orientations, excluding those that are already on the plate.

8. With one hand, grab around the outside of the plastic wrapping in front of the bread loaf so that no air can travel through the point at which you grab.

9. With your other hand, locate the twisty-tie once again, and bend it into a "U" shape. Place the twisty-tie so that it mostly surrounds the plastic right behind where you grabbed.

10. Carefully rotate the two extremities of the twisty-tie around each other in five complete rotations in the fashion you untwisted it previously, while the other hand continues to grip the plastic in front of the twisty-tie. After sealing the bread loaf by twisting the twisty-tie, release the hand gripping the front of the plastic wrap. Return the bread to its original position on the table.