train stations

xii.

Even in her anxious silence, Melanie stayed with her. She knew that it was because this strange woman (her angel) knew she couldn't bear to be alone right now. She couldn't bear to listen to only the roaring of the train alone. She had been alone for so long.

"You're really having a tough time with something aren't you?"

She looked at her, like a doe.

"That's okay," Melanie said. "It's okay to feel broken sometimes. If you're not comfortable talking about it, I won't make you. You just look like you need some freedom."

Freedom is exactly what I need.

"What do you mean?" she asked the angel.

Finally, she let herself look into Melanie's dark eyes. Like she had been tempted to drown in the bitterness of the coffee, she wanted to drown in her eyes of dark honey. Beyond the green of the earth and blue of the sky, she would find the darkness of space, but even that was missing what her eyes held. Eternity and safety and everything, instead of emptiness. They weren't truly dark—just full of so many colors that she couldn't make sense of it all until she allowed them to swallow her entirely.

She couldn't hear anything other than her soft voice.

"You look like you need to escape something," she said. "You look like you're trapped—or you've trapped something inside you that shouldn't be trapped."

"I'm not sure..."

"You don't have to talk about it," she smiled. "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just want to let you know you have a friend, for at least this train ride, if you'd rather me stay a stranger afterwards."

No—

"No, it's fine," she said. "Maybe I am trapped—or something."

"Or something?"

She looked at the trees racing by. "Maybe I am trapped and something."

"And something," Melanie said. "Now that's a problem."

"Yeah," she chuckled weakly. "That is a problem."

"You look like you need to dance or sing or paint—"

"Or scream."

"Well," she smiled, "so then scream."