Believe || langst

chapter 3

I wake up. It feels a little bit early to go to school. I look at the time on my phone. Its 2:00 am.

I try to go back to sleep but I can't. Right now I just can't stop thinking of awful thoughts. I need to sleep.

No one cares about you. Kill yourself. End it.  Cut.  Cut deep.

I think maybe just one cut. It usually calms me down and maybe then I can go back to sleep after I do it. It makes me feel calm cause I think I deserve the pain.

I go to my bathroom. In the cabinet by the sink is were I hide the blade from an old pencil sharpener that I use to cut my self. I look behind the toilet paper and find a little container that stores it.

I pull up my sleeve and look at my arms. My arms are littered with cuts. Some are deep and other ain't. There is also scars.

I take the blade to my wrist.

I slit my wrist about ten times. The blood flows down my arm and drips into the sink. I do four more cut. Those were deeper than the others I just did. I kinda feel dizzy

I clean up my arms and the sink so there is no blood around.
After that I try going back to sleep

Beep beep beep

My alarm went off. I barely got any sleep and I have to go to school.  Today is going to be hard because when I'm sleepy I can't pay attention
In class

I get up and put in some clothes. I look into the mirror. I have dark circles under my eyes. I cover them with some foundation that i have when this happens. Now they ain't notice able.

I get my bag and leave to the bus stop.

As I arrive I see hunk waiting. "Hey lance! Did you ask your mom that we could come over tomorrow?" "She said we could! Sorry that I didn't text you last night I was busy." "Its alright but we can tell everyone today!"

The bus comes and we both get on.

The bus arrives at school and me and hunk go to are classes knowing that we will meet at lunch. I then go to my first class of the day.

I can't pay attention to the class. I almost fell asleep once. I just hope none of the teachers call on me to answer a question because I probably have no clue what it will be.

I'm surprised that I haven't fell asleep yet but its lunch time now. Maybe my crazy friends will wake me up a little.

I go get my lunch and head to our table.  When I get there everyone was there even Keith who is usually last here. "Hey lance!" "Hi shiro." After saying hi I go sit down and start to eat my lunch.

I wonder if hunk has ask shiro and Keith about coming over tomorrow."Hunk have you ask shiro and Keith yet about coming over?" Hunk looks at over at me. "no I haven't yet but I can ask shiro because he is in my next class. You can ask Keith were he is in your class." "Sounds like a plan then! You can tell me what he said on the bus."

We all have finished are lunch and is now heading back to are classes.
Like always me and Keith walk to class together. "Hey mullet! Were having a movie night tomorrow so you wanna come?" "sure, I have nothing else to do." We arrive at class I will try not to fall asleep in this class.
I know when I get home I'm taking a nap.

Finally! The school day is over. I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep in any class.

Me and hunk get on the bus. "So what did shiro say?" "He said he will come! What did Keith say?" "He said he will come to. We will have the whole gang then!"

Hunk gets drop off at his his and the next stop is mine.

The bus stops at my house and I get off the bus. I walk in and sit my bag down.  Momma come to see me when I walk in. "Did you have a nice day at school today?" "Yea I did. Thanks for ask momma."

After talking with momma a bit I go to my room. Dinner won't be done for another hour or so. I'm going to take a nap while we wait for dinner to be done. Then I go to my bed and lay down. After a few minutes I fall asleep.

Knock  knock  knock

When I here the knocking I wake up.

Knock knock

After those knocks I here a muffled get up! Dinner is ready lance!
I get up and walk and open the door. Grace was at my door. "Finally you wake! Come on in hungry!" She grabs my hand and we go eat.

After dinner is over I go give momma and the other two a kiss goodnight then I head to my room.

I go take a shower and put some pajamas on then go to bed.

Why I'm looking through Instagram I remember something. I need to clean my room or momma won't let no one come. In way to sleepy to clean it tho. I will clean it in the morning. I should have time then.

I can't wait for tomorrow. Everyone is coming and staying the night tomorrow. I hope that we all will have a good time.

After a few minutes of laying in bed thinking about things I finally fall asleep.