i just want to get out

See the world.

Choromatsu felt like he was suffocating.

His breath slowly leaving him.

He felt like he was dying.

This is it.

Choromatsu is going to die here.

He's was going to die right now.

He was too young to die, there was so much he wanted to do in life. Find a job, get married, go on a self-discovery trip, better (or worsen) his idol obsession. Wait no. It wasn't an idol obsession! He just really liked them and thought they were pretty. Or their personas were. Their music didn't even have to be good, but it was a bonus if it was. Like Nyaa-Chan. Ah yes, her voice, her face, the cat image she's going for- Well. Maybe he did have a slight obsession. But he wasn't a creep or anything!

Ah, this sucks.

This sucks.

He doesn't want to die. But looks like he doesn't have a choice.

Exhaustion was taking over his body, darkness consuming his vision and his thoughts going a mile a second, thinking of nothing yet everything at the same time.

So this is the end huh-

Then the door opened, "Choromatsuuu~"

On second thought, maybe it would be better if he could die of boredom.

Choromatsu was sitting one of their rooms on the floor, his face resting on flat on the table with papers surrounding him and a mechanical pencil. His face was right above a paper that stuck onto his cheek as he finally lifted his head, giving the intruder an annoyed glare, "What do you want, Osomatsu-niisan?" He barked.

Osomatsu entered the room and sat right next to Choromatsu, putting an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer, the latter trying his best to resist and pull away, "So mean Choromatsu~ I was just looking for Ichimatsu so we could play pachinko together!"

"That's a lie," Choromatsu deadpanned, making the older stiffen but then immediately laugh it off, "You know me too well, its not fair," Choromatsu raised an eyebrow with the most unimpressed face, "You literally called out my name. You obviously weren't looking for Ichimatsu."

Choromatsu finally managed to shove Osomatsu away from him, making Osomatsu go around the table to plop down and sit right in front of the younger, "Woops, guess I messed up huh?" Choromatsu just sighed as he looked back at the scattered papers and collected them, putting them a neat pile. There was just silence as the older watched the green-clad brother's actions almost intrigued, or just very carefully. It didn't go unnoticed by the one being stared at, it was really ticking him off, "So, what did you want? And get right to the point, I'm not in the mood to hear your dumb chatter."

There was more silence, Osomatsu staring right at Choromatsu with a blank expression before blinking and seemed careful to ask, "Are you...How are you feeling?"

The question didn't catch Choromatsu off guard, if anything, he was expecting it. There wasn't any satisfying answer, so Choromatsu replied with, "You already know. What kind of stupid question is that?" It was aggressive but had a hint of sorrow.

Choromatsu really hated these silences. Ever since then, there has always been uncomfortable silences between them now. Before it was hard to get Osomatsu to shut up and stop teasing him, but now he didn't so much and despite how much Choromatsu hated to admit it, he hated it. He hated how he was treated now, how Osomatsu and the rest of their brothers act around him now.

Choromatsu wasn't fragile, he was managing. That's what he tells himself anyway. But everyone can see right through him and he hates it.

Choromatsu got the papers he put in a stack and started fiddling with them, only looking down at them and avoiding eye contact with the oldest, "You know I hate it when you act like this around me. It's not like you. But I'm fine. You can go back to whatever you were doing-"