i just want to get out

Taken Away

bang.

Hopeless.

Bang.

It was hopeless.

Bang!

Why did he think he could have something as small and luxurious as that?

Bang!

He should've know, no matter what.

BANG!

He'll always be trapped.

-

It's been a while since Choromatsu found his little secret discovery. He tried his best to restrain himself from spending too long in the room or too many times, mostly going there when the house felt too suffocating or he needed some motivation.

It sounds kind of dumb now that he thought about it, getting motivated by air from a small hole in the wall. There wasn't much he could see either, it was the room at the back of the house, so the hole was right across the wall of the other house. Hardly any light ever went through except a little glow that indicated the sun was out.

Despite that, it helped make Choromatsu feel like he still had some control in his life, some hope and that not everything is as shit as he thought. Well, as shit as it is

Now he continued to write in his 'room' - which was really just an extra room he stays most of the time. At first he thought about how stupid it was, but now it actually did help in a way. Maybe not fully, there was no way it will ever satisfy as a good outlet, but an outlet nonetheless. Besides, most of what he wrote he'll violently tear it into pieces, maybe throw it up like confetti or just aggressively throw them on the floor. It sounded like something someone with a lose screw would do, but it was just a way to take out his frustration!

He opted to stay in this room and bore himself with writing, reading, thinking, absolutely nothing, and all those good boring things that'll kill you faster with boredness, which is what he's been hoping for but so far no luck.

Lately, he didn't feel like hanging out with brothers, which are here except for Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu. There was something about being with them that set him off and put him in an even more 'bitchy' mood (again, kindly quoted from Todomatsu).

It was just the way they acted towards him, the way he knows they sneak some glances at him while trying to do their 'normal' thing as if Choromatsu didn't notice. Geez, just stare right into his soul why don't you! Maybe then they'll actually see this entire situation is a little bit more than fucked up and does no good to Choromatsu as they claim it does!

Without realizing him, he scribbled all over the paper while pressing on the pencil hard, making it's point break and leave nasty dark lines.

It's at times like these where he just needed a breather. Although it was an awful time considering he'smore likely to be caught. He wonders if the same excuse he used with Ichimatsu will work.

Choromatsu was heading towards the door despite his doubts considering its at times like these where his brothers' thoughts of giving him his space where Choromatsu takes some sort of advantage.

As he got closer he heard...banging? Well no. It sounded a lot like-

No.

NO!

Choromatsu sped walked to the room as quick as possible but didn't try to seem too urgent to arise suspicion. He knew that sound anywhere, it was drilled into his brain when he lost his freedom. The sound of.

When he got to the door, it's as if all his blood drained from him, like the floor disappeared right under him and he was floating, just barely. It took all of Choromatsu's mental and physical strength along with logic he didn't care about that he knows is needed to not run over to where Osomatsu was, standing on a chair in the corner, and shove him down. To not scream and demand him to stop, that he's taken everything away already, why did we want to take this little piece of some sort of bliss from him too? To just not do anything but watch and try not to seem like a dog who was taken away from his owner and will never be able to see them again. To not cry.

His thoughts were running a mile per second, they wouldn't shut off. How did Osomatsu even know? Did Ichimatsu tell him? But why? It let his stupid cats come and go as they please so it didn't negatively affect him at all! So why?! Unless Osomatsu found out himself but how? Choromatsu didn't even know it existed and wouldn't ever have if it wasn't for ESP Kitty!

"W-what..." His voice was failing him. It was low, shakey, breathless. God he's such an open book and he hates it. But had to know, so he tried his best to look himself, like he wasn't literally dying inside, and sound like himself, like he wasn't going to cry. "What are doing?"

That's. A little better. He tried to sound annoyed, which he was slightly achieving. It was something at least. Osomatsu stopped hammering and turned towards Choromatsu, nails sticking out if his mouth. He put his hammer down and got off the chair, proceeding to take the nails out his mouth too. "Oh! Choro-Chan!" He said chipperly, as if there wasn't a problem in the world, as if he wasn't breaking his third brother. He slightly turned his head toward the wall and then back at Choromatsu with his glued on smile, "Just fixing something! I saw something run inside the room and disappeared into the wall! It was probably a rat so I'm making sure they won't be able to come back in cause that's just gross." He put his hands on his hips.

His answer gave him slight ease, but it was still crushing and he doubted what he said. Lately he just couldn't trust the oldest. Its not like he's ever truely did, but now it seemed worse. Like he had to be cautious.

"So, what are you here for? And are you alright? You look pale as a ghost!" He asked, as if he didn't know. Maybe he truely didn't, but a part of him told him otherwise.

"O-oh I um.." He was hesitating again, fidgeting, looking everywhere but at the oldest. He's was fucking easy to read! "The-" Deep breaths Choromatsu, deep breaths and relax, just say what he normally would, "The noise was bothering my concentration, idiot! How was I supposed to enjoy my light novel with all this banging?!" Alright. He was doing okay, just keep going, don't lose it. Not yet. "And geez, I sure wonder why I'm pale-"

"Choromatsu."

He stiffined. He did it again. Cut him off and change the subject. And as always, he'll just go along with it. "W-what...?"

Osomatsu looked at Choromatsu with a blank stare. The gaze made the latter stiffen even more than he thought he could, making him more nervous and sweat.

"You...you're wearing your glasses again. What's the occasion?"

There was something relieving that that's what he decided to say, although no matter how much Osomatsu reads him so openly, how he's trying to change the 'mood', Choromatsu had to leave. He had to leave before the feeling finally set in.

"What, I can't wear my glasses now either?" It came out with more attitude than he intended, but he couldn't care anymore, why should he care if it came out rude anyway?

Before he could let Osomatsu respond, Choromatsu turned to leave, not letting him get a word out, refusing to, "Just keep it down or try to keep it down I don't know! Dont let it bother me," in the finish his voice broke, he couldn't do it anymore. His eyes stung and he left to his room.

Inside the room he couldn't. He just couldn't. Why was something so small, so insignificant, making him feel this way? Making him cry and tighten his chest? Make him feel like there wasn't anymore air, like he just couldn't breathe? Making him feel like he first did a couple months ago. That he tried so hard to change and get a better light. He just felt so- so-

bang.