Edges of the World

Chapter 43

Leia had not moved since the battle ended.

She felt nauseous.

Leia's awareness of her limbs had been replaced with nothing but a tingling sense of heavy weights.

Kriff.

She didn't even know how many people she had murdered.

How was she supposed to pay her proper respects for the severity of her deeds if she didn't know basic information like that!

She needed to know each of their names.

If they had families she should contact them, tell them how sorry she was for their loss, apologize for the pain and devastation she had brought to the loved ones they would leave behind.

There was of course no way to ever truly make it right, but she needed, she needed....

"Leia? Hey, Leia, where are you? You make it through the battle ok?" Luke's voice cut into her thoughts, distorted through the comms.

I'm physically fine, if that is what you are asking. Otherwise? I'm not so sure.

"Where are you? Do you need help?" Luke asked.

No I, I'm fine. You want me to come to the cockpit?

"Yes, please. I told the navicomputer to return to the path you'd calculated before, but I'd feel a lot better if you checked things over."

Alright, I'm on my way.

Her hands shook as she raised them to undo the protective restraints keeping her strapped in to the gunnery seat. Getting the clasp off in her state of exhaustion truly was a struggle. Finally however she got it released, and she slumped forward, sliding off the chair slowly, cautiously letting her feet feel for the ground before letting her weight fall onto them.

Her legs protested the action, suddenly giving out under her, and she grabbed the seat she'd just vacated, clinging to it simply to stay upright.

Ok.

So her body was far more worn out than she'd first estimated.

Kriff, she was going to be sick.

She managed to drag herself back into the ship's main passageway.

She wasn't quite sure how she managed to do it, there was a ladder between the gunnery and the rest of the ship, but she did it.

Getting from there to the cockpit was far easier, the walls were all nice and solid, and it was easy to find support when her body did not quite agree with her about staying upright.

When she reached the cockpit, she used the passenger seats to drag herself towards the co-pilot seat, collapsing into it with an exhausted grunt.

Grinning from ear to ear, Luke turned towards her, not a care in the galaxy. "That was some shooting!"

Leia closed her eyes. She found the bright flash of an exploding TIE playing out behind her lids. She opened her eyes with a start, and focused on Luke.

"I uh... hey, how does the Empire recruit their pilots?"

"Huh?"

"Who were those people we were shooting at?"

"Oh. Leia, it's really best not to dwell on that."

"I take it I really won't like the answer to my question then?"

Luke shifted in his seat, his eyes glancing about, resting on her face for just seconds at a time before he'd look away. "Probably not. No."

She slumped back in her seat, unsure what to do. She had always thought that when the day came that she would have to take a life, her father or Aunt 'Soka would be there to give her advice and guide her through the proper way to deal with the consequences.