Terror and Lies || A Drarry fanfiction

Chapter 10 ' You don't understand , Parkinson '

( Draco's side of what happened in potions class )
' What was that ?' Pansy asked as she entered the Slytherin common room . Draco had been sent back early from potions class .
' I don't know ' Draco said as he sat casually reading a book at the fire .
' You were being friendly to Harry ' Pansy said . ' You saved him from Snape . The Draco I know would enjoy watching Snape torment Harry ' Pansy continued .
' I don't know why I did it , Pansy ' Draco answered . ' I didn't mean to do any of that . It just happened ' Draco seemed fine on the outside but on the inside he was panicking . What was he thinking ? He was stupid to do that . He didn't even know why he did it . He was confused .
' You were accidentally nice to Harry ?' Pansy asked , chuckling .
Draco didn't say anything . ' Draco you know you can tell me anything . I wouldn't tell anyone ' Pansy said sitting next to Draco .
' I can't trust you . Why should I tell you anything when you won't tell me anything ' Draco said , putting down his book and standing up .
Pansy sighed . ' If I tell you the truth will you promise to talk to me ?' Pansy asked calmly .
Draco thought about it for a moment .
' Sure ' Draco said , shrugging . Pansy didn't reply , she just looked at Draco as if she was waiting for something . ' I promise ' He added forcefully .
' Well I was wrong . I thought I knew who the Dark One was but I was wrong ' Pansy said quietly , out of ear to the others .
' What do you mean you were wrong ?' Draco asked .
' I made an assumption of who it was and your parents made me promise not to tell you so I thought I was right ' Pansy answered . ' After you left Voldemort asked me who it was to see if I was right and he told me I was wrong ' She continued .
' Well , who did you think it was ?' Draco asked curiously .
' I thought maybe it was someone from the Order . Maybe Sirius Black ' Pansy shrugged .
' Why would you think it was someone from the Order ? And even if it was why wouldn't they want me to know ?' Draco asked .
' I don't know . But atleast we can cross Sirius Black and Remus Lupin from our list ' Pansy said positively .
Draco stayed quiet for a moment , thinking confusedly to himself .
' Well I told you the truth , now you need to talk ' Pansy said , clearing the silence .
' About what ?' Draco asked .
' Whatever's bothering you ' Pabsy shrugged . ' Don't say there's nothing wrong because I know there is . You can trust me Draco ' Pansy said comfortingly . Draco stayed quiet , trying to think of something he could say . He couldn't say the truth , there was no truth . None that he would admit . He needed to make something up . Anything , but his mind was blank he couldn't think of anything. Pansy say next to him waiting for him to say something but Draco could only sit there in silence not knowing what to say .
' I have to go ' Were the words that came out of his mouth when he opened it to say something . He got up and ran for the door . He didn't have to go , he didn't even know where to go . He ran through the corridors deciding to go to the lake for some fresh air .

It was cold . Colder than cold , maybe Draco should've remembered to bring a jumper with him before running out . He didn't want to be here , sitting in the cold in silence . The silence gave him time to think and he really didn't want to think . His thoughts frightened him . His mind was like a door , behind of which there were a million frightening thoughts and everyday they got closer and closer to opening the door and flooding his mind .

Pansy approached Draco . Draco turned around surprised to see Pansy standing there . ' What are you doing here ?' Draco asked , freezing .
' I understand you ' Pansy said , stepping closer . Draco looked at her confused .
' I don't think you do ' Draco replied .
' You don't have to hide it from me . I can see it ' She said .
' Hide what ?' Draco asked confused .
' You know what . You don't need to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about . I might've been wrong about The Dark One but I'm not wrong about this ' Pansy said .
' Stop playing games , Parkinson . What are you talking about ?' Draco asked simply .
' Fine , I'll say it . I know you like Harry ' Pansy said . Draco turned away from Pansy .
' You know I hate him , Parkinson ' Draco muttered .
' No . I know you don't hate him . I know you've never hated him ' Pansy said , getting annoyed that Draco wouldn't admit it . Draco shook his head .
' I don't ' He said . ' I don't like him ' He added .
' Draco , I understand and I'm ok with it . I won't tell anyone ' She said , walking around so she would face Draco .
' I dont . I can't ' Draco said shaking his head , but he didn't seem to be talking to her . He was saying it to himself , trying to convince himself she was lying .
Pansy stood silently for a minute just watching Draco .
' You don't see it ?' Pansy asked , smiling .
' You don't understand , Parkinson ' Draco said . ' I do not like him . Not like that ' Draco wouldn't admit it .
' Or maybe you're the one who doesn't understand , Draco ' Pansy said . ' You don't realise , or maybe you just won't admit it to yourself ' Pansy said . Her words were frightening to Draco . Everything he had tried to ignore Pansy was confirming them , she was making him realise and admit that those feelings existed . Draco tried to block her out , stop her from releasing those feelings that he had tried to push to the back of his mind . But she was saying the right things .
' No ' Draco said shaking his head . ' Stop talking ! I don't want to hear it' Draco said , feeling weak .
' You don't want to hear it , but you need to hear it . You love him ' Pansy said , now standing in front of Draco .
Draco didn't say anything , just took a deep breath . He was giving up .
' You won't admit it and I understand why . Your parents would never tolerate it and Harry hates you . You try to push those feelings away to stop them from hurting you , but you can't deny that they're there , Draco ' Pansy knew exactly how Draco was feeling .
' What am I supposed to do ?' Draco asked , his voice breaking . He felt vulnerable . ' I can't be like this ! You have to do something ' Draco said , tears coming to his eyes .
' I can try do something , but nothing will happen unless you try too ' Pansy said , smiling a apologetic smile .
' I meant to stop me from feeling like this ' Draco said , knowing Pansy thought he wanted her to set him and Harry up .
' Draco you can't ' Pansy said . ' Even if there is a way , it's too dangerous and you shouldn't take the cowardice way out of this ' Pansy was being serious for once .
' You found out . Everyone else is going to find out . You have to do something , please ' Draco said "please" to Pansy . He must really need her help .
' Let's go inside before dinners over and people come out here ' Pansy said . ' We'll sneak into the dungeons first to clear you up and then we'll head to dinner and I'll try to think of a plan ' Pansy said helpfully .

' He hates me ' Draco said as they sneaked into the dungeons .
' He doesn't hate you ' Pansy replied .
' Have you not been paying attention these past few years ? He hates me and it's all my fault ' Draco said , a tear dropped onto his cheek but he quickly wiped it away .
' He does not hate you , Draco . He might not like you but he definitely doesn't hate you ' Pansy said .
' Yes , he does . I see the way he looks at me ' Draco said sadly . He really let his guard down tonight . Malfoys don't let their guard down .
' I've seen the way he looks at you too . He only makes it look like he hates you when your looking at each other , but when your back is turned he doesn't hate you ' Pansy said .
' Especially in fourth year ' Pansy added quietly to herself .
' What about fourth year ?' Draco asked , trying to calm down .
' You don't remember ? In potions he spent every class staring at you . Granger almost killed him . Even his friends thought he liked you ' Pansy said , loving to gossip .
Draco stayed quiet . His mind was racing with different thoughts . He knew he wouldn't be able to pull this off . He could barely handle the pressure of being a Malfoy and now he had the added repsonsibilty of being a death eater , and now he was going to have to deal with being in love with Harry too . He knew he was going to brake , he couldn't handle it .
But he could try .

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This is going to be the last chapter for a couple of days . I'm going away tomorrow and no phones are allowed . I'll be back on Friday night so I might be able to post a chapter then if I write it quickly . On Saturday morning I'm going to England and won't be back until Tuesday , so I'll definitely have another chapter by Wednesday next week .
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