Three: Carrots & Sticks

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"So what do you do, Sang?" Kota asked after the waitress had taken our order and dropped off our drinks. I had water, while the other three had cokes, and I was kind of jealous. Pizza needed an icy cold coke, drunk with a straw. Water was just...wrong. When the waitress passed by the table again, I asked her for a coke, and was a little disconcerted when both Nate and Kota grinned widely at me.

"Uhh...I work at a grocery store, I'm a cashier," I said, fiddling with my napkin. "How about you guys?" I asked before they could press me for more information about it. I really didn't want to get into the whole dropping out of school thing. Not here, not now. Not with them.

"I'm taking classes this summer," Kota said, looking uncomfortable, "but Nate teaches martial arts."

It was almost like he was dodging the question as much as I was.

"Oh?" I said, assessing Nate. I could see it.

"Mmhmm," he said vaguely, with a small smile and even smaller nod.

"He's really good," Jess spoke up, holding her chin up proudly. "I'm in his class on Saturdays, self-defense for teen girls. Oh! You should come to that!" She grabbed my arm and I flinched away from the unexpected contact. She let go immediately, looking upset, and I felt bad.

"Hey, Jess, I'm just not used to all the touching. It's not personal, in fact I'm sure if we hang around together more, eventually I won't even notice." It seemed to be the right thing to say. She nodded enthusiastically and started telling me all about the class and I half-listened as I thought about what I said to her. Did I want to hang out with her more? Or with Kota and Nate?

All three of them were nice, and really friendly, but they were... a little pushy? Kinda presumptuous? A little too eager? I guess I didn't mind, it was nice that they seemed to want to be friends, but I was a little disconcerted by the insta-best friend vibe I was getting. Who meets someone for the first time and wants to immediately spend the day with them? Who touches strangers this much? Or am I just so outside of normal society that I might as well be the alien I accused Kota of being? I rubbed my arm where I could still feel the pressure of her fingers grabbing me, and tried to pay attention.

I think I felt more comfortable with Nate than the other two because he seemed to be flirting with me with all that wild animal stuff, and so his pushiness made sense: he was trying to capture and keep my attention because he wanted something from me, and so he was pushing the boundaries to speed that all along. But Kota - and Jess certainly - wasn't interested in me that way so their forwardness didn't make sense to me. No one works this hard to be friends with me. Did they hope to gain something from me? Maybe they mistook me for someone important or thought I had some kind of social cachet?

"...so do you think you'll want to come?" Jess asked, clearly anxious about my answer.

"Saturday mornings at the Rec Center?" I confirmed, looking to Nate who was watching me with a serious expression, his brow bunched up in concentration. He nodded at me, but it seemed almost reluctant, and I realized he must not want me in the class. "Umm, I'll have to see if I can. I work a lot and my stepmom is sick, so..." Hey! The monster finally did something useful for me! She got me out of social interaction with a sweet girl who seemed to genuinely like me, and two hot guys, one of whom seemed interested in me. Fan-fucking-tastic. I'm not usually one to swear even in my head, but this seemed like an appropriate moment to do so.

Jess looked so disappointed. "Oh. Well, okay. We can hang out to watch movies anyway."

"Sure," I agreed, checking Kota and Nate's reactions in my peripheral vision. They both relaxed slightly so I knew this was okay. The waitress was heading towards our table with a giant pizza, and as hungry as I was, I was starting to develop a bit of a headache from navigating this minefield, so I used the distraction as an opportunity to take a break from all the awkwardness. "I'm going to go wash my hands," I said, getting up from my seat. Luckily we were sitting at a table and not one of those half-circle booths where I'd probably have to have one or more of them move out of my way.

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