Friend, Please: Phan

6

Phil's POV

I woke up early to finish my mum's  drawing, but found her already awake, taking the bed coverings and small decorations out of our guest bedroom.

"Good morning Phil, we're moving everything out of the guest bedroom today," she said, putting picture frames in a box. "We're getting the floor measured tomorrow for new carpeting."

My mum and I had been planning to redesign the guest room for ages but never got around to it. I walked back into my room deciding not to work on my drawing until I was sure she wouldn't walk in on me. I went to lay back down but was interrupted by my phone vibrating on my night stand. I looked back at my hand, remembering what I had done the night before, and ran to my phone.

???: Hi...

Phil: Hi! You saw the number on your hand?

???: Yeah... why'd you do that?

Phil: I saw your cuts on my arm. I got scared for you.

???: Oh

The conversation seemed to end there and I sighed, trying to think of how I could keep it going. Luckily, she did that for me.

???: What's your name?

Phil: Phil Lester

Phil: What's yours?

???: I'm Daniel Howell, but everyone just calls me Dan.

Dan. Daniel. DANIEL IS A BOYS NAME. I reread the text to be sure. Daniel. I didn't know what to say next. Sure, I'd never dated anyone before, but I didn't think of a possibility that I was gay. I felt a pit in my stomach. I remembered that I needed to text him back and quickly typed out a response.

Phil: That's a really nice name

Dan: Thanks, yours is too

I was still freaking out about the fact that I was apparently gay, but I pushed that aside as it wasn't my priority. I needed to know how I could help them.

Phil: If you don't mind me asking, why are you cutting?

As soon as I sent it I realized there was probably a less insensitive way to say that and wanted to take it back. Dan didn't answer for a minute and I was sure I screwed up, so I sent him another text.

Phil: I'm sorry that was too invasive. You don't have to answer.

Dan: No, it's ok

Dan: Bullies, parents, ex friends, there really isn't anything good about my life.

Phil: What's wrong with your parents?

Dan: They're not good people...

Not wanting to upset him, I decided to change the subject.

Phil: Ok. Would you like to talk about something happier?

Dan: Yes please

Phil: Ok, what's your favorite band?

Dan: Probably Muse

Phil: Same! I also love Fall Out Boy and Panic! at the Disco.

Dan: Me too

Phil: No wonder we're soulmates!😁

Dan: Lol yeah

"Phil! Can you help me move the furniture?" I heard my mum yell from the other room.

"Yea, I'll be there in a minute," I shouted back.

Phil: I have to go help my mom move some furniture, we're getting the guest bedroom redone. Talk later?

Dan: Ok, bye Phil

Phil: Bye💙

I closed the app and created a contact for Dan, putting a pink heart next to his name to signify him being my soulmate. I still felt uncomfortable with the fact he was male, but I didn't want my confusion with my sexuality to prevent me from helping him get better. I decided against telling my mother straight away as I knew she would be upset that I hurt myself to get to him. 

Daniel Howell. My soulmate. A boy.