I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 1: This is What it Feels Like to Date a Male Capricorn

In this first chapter of I Don't Like This World, I Only Like You, we are introduced to the hilarious Joey and her sweet, taciturn husband Mr. F. As mentioned previously, the book is written in such a way that allows the readers to get glimpses of Joey and Mr. F's daily lives. This chapter is presently split into two parts, so as to allow for easier reading and translating.

001

Last year, when Mr. F was on a business trip to Japan, I discovered a thread online titled "Sisters, how do you guys normally tease your boyfriends through text messages?". The answers in the thread were hilarious to say the least.

Coincidentally, I had just changed my mobile number that day. As such, I sent Mr. F an anonymous message: "Hey Big Boss, do you need any special services?"

He didn't reply.

I persevered in my efforts, sending him yet another text message: "Little lonely wild cat has a fiery and burning passion, and will be delivered to your doorstep. Satisfaction guaranteed."

After a while, he called me. On picking up the phone, the first sentence he said was, "Are you very bored at home?"

I was extremely shocked, "How did you know it was me?"

He said, "Only you would be bored enough to pull such a stunt." He paused momentarily, thinking before continuing, "I'll be returning the day after tomorrow."

"So soon? Aren't you only scheduled to return next week?"

"Sudden change in plans."

Sometime afterward, his colleague came over to our house for dinner. The conversation naturally turned to the recent Japan trip, and the colleague said, "Mr. F didn't even attend the celebratory dinner. The moment his work ended he rushed to the airport without a moment's delay, claiming that there was nobody at home and he had to return to take care of the cat."

He surveyed our surroundings, and asked out of curiosity, "Speaking of which... where's the cat?"

I flushed immediately. Mr. F placed a piece of fish in my bowl, and replied calmly without a change in expression, "It's easily scared and is afraid of strangers."

I wanted to bury my face in the bowl.

002

Mr F. was always an extremely stern and proud person in front of outsiders. As such, people often referred to him as Ice Man. Conversely, I was the exact opposite. As an experienced lunatic, I had a burning passion for acting, and Mr. F always tells me off by claiming that it was a pity that I haven't pursued an acting career.

Once, while we were eating out, I suddenly stopped and told him seriously, "Brother-in-law, how can we face our sister after what we have done?"

Initially, he would, along with the waiter, stare at me with a thunderstruck expression. However, he gradually got used to it over the years, and even managed a calm reply yesterday – "I'm sure your sister give us her blessings from Heaven."