I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 15 Stop and Smell The Roses

001

My mother-in-law is someone who possesses a great sense of humour; as Mr. F has commented on numerous occasions about the striking similarities between me and his mum, I asked him whether it was because both his mum and I liked to tease him.

In the past, Mr. F had a 'rumoured girlfriend' who happened to be the daughter of his neighbours. As my mother-in-law's greatest joy was to make a fool out of her very own son, she would frequently ask Mr. F hilarious questions, such as "Why don't you go play with my daughter-in-law?"

Initially, Mr. F would attempt to protest his unhappiness, "Don't spread such nonsense."

"Isn't she my daughter-in-law? Or are you telling me you have someone else?"

"That's not true!"

"Well, since you don't have anyone else, she's the only one left to be my daughter-in-law."

"......"

Once, she brought Mr. F out to purchase some clothes for him. As she was deciding between two different colours, she commented, "I'll just the blue one then, since my daughter-in-law ought to like the colour blue."

Mr. F replied in exasperation, "Who's your daughter-in-law? I didn't know you had one."

Subsequently, when I visited Mr. F's home to play, my mother-in-law smelt the scent of a 'secret affair'; from that day onwards, the annual parent-teacher meeting became the event that frightened Mr. F the most. When my mother-in-law saw my mum, she'd be extremely enthusiastic, "I'm going to go have a chat with my in-law."

"Don't!!!"

"Son, you're not going to be able to get the girl at this rate."

Even the perennially busy Mr. F's father found some time to talk to Mr. F, "I'm not entirely opposed to you entering into a relationship at such a young age, but you ought to know where to draw the line."

Mr. F wanted to howl in rage – I'm not in a relationship!! I know where to draw the line!! The one who doesn't know how to draw the line is your wife, not me!!!

002

When my mother-in-law and I discussed the topic of children, I said, "If I ever give birth to a child in the future, I don't need him to be extremely rich or successful. I just hope that he'd be a happy person."

My mother-in-law replied, "Yup. When I was pregnant with F, I thought the same way too. I didn't wish for anything else, and had only one single wish."

"What?"

"My child must be handsome."

"......."

She showed me Mr. F's baby photos, and said, "I always wondered whether I had mistakenly brought the wrong baby home from the hospital."

"Why?"

"How could someone as vibrant as me give birth to someone so dull and introverted?"

"Perhaps...he takes after his father."

"Subsequently, when he attended school, my suspicions grew even stronger."

"Why?"

"How could my son be so good in his studies?"

"......"

She continued flipping through the photographs, and muttered to herself, "But he's such a handsome boy...No one else would be capable of giving birth to him except me."

"......"

003

Mr. F told me that when he was still a child, his biggest wish was to escape his mother's "demonic claws". When I asked him why, Mr. F recalled with extreme grief, "My mother's desire to remain in control is the strongest I have seen in my entire life. Ever since I was young, she would interfere in all my matters, ranging from big matters – such as the school I was enrolling in – to small matters – such as the socks I would be wearing the next day. She would even decide, on a daily basis, the outfit I was to wear that day, from innerwear to outerwear, from head to toe. If I failed to follow her instructions, she would fly into a rage. It's crazily scary – I wonder how my dad manages to endure her antics."