Cold Fire [SAMPLE]

[30]

CHAPTER THIRTY

I can’t help but notice how convenient my situation is – the moment I lose one mother, I gain another. But of course, it’s not that simple.

Caden knocks on the door and I stand just behind him and Sarah, squeezing my wrist so hard that I can imagine my hand must be turning blue. For some reason, I can’t keep still, and I find myself bending and stretching my knees over and over again, as well as flinging looks over my shoulder at the stationary car.

Almost everything in me is screaming at me to leave, to get away before the door opens and it’s too late to back out. But a part of my mind understands the importance of meeting my real mother, and it’s that single part that keeps my body in place and my mouth shut.

No time like the present, I remind myself. But it doesn’t help.

Suddenly, I hear a noise coming from the other side of the door and my movements dissolve away, leaving me tense and waiting. The sound of a lock being undone floats over to me, taunting me as the seconds seem to expand and grow, slowing everything down until I swear I’ve been standing in wait for a lifetime.

And then the door swings inwards and I see her.

The first thing I notice is her light brown hair that reaches to her shoulders. Then my eyes make out her tan skin, brown eyes and the dozen or so wrinkles of her forehead, and around her mouth and eyes. She looks to be around fifty, but the resemblance between her and Sarah is still striking. I can see Sarah in the shape of my mother’s nose, the intelligent spark in her eyes, the slight point of the chin.

I don’t know if seeing how familiar she looks makes me feel better or worse.

“Sarah,” my mother says, looking surprised. “I wasn’t expecting you.” Then she seems to notice Caden and I and she frowns.

Sarah quickly picks up on her mother’s state of confusion. Sending her a meaningful look, she says, “Remember I told you last night that we might have visitors today?”

A few seconds pass in which my mother doesn’t seem to understand the look Sarah’s giving her, but it quickly passes and I catch the moment my mother remembers whatever it was that transpired. The shock on her face is unmistakable as she turns her head, eyes latching onto mine for the first time. But when she opens her mouth to say something, the words that come out aren’t what I expected. “Why don’t you guys come in? You must be freezing.”

Caden looks back at me, his eyes seeming to say, Here we go, before stepping into the house. I go to follow him and Sarah, but my feet get stuck at the threshold, my body unwilling to cross over into a place should be familiar but isn’t – a place that I should be living in with my real mum, going through every day as a normal girl who attends school and does homework and has friends and boyfriends and arguments with her parents. A girl whose biggest worries are her upcoming exams or whether or not she should wear a dress or a skirt to her friend’s party.

My real mum stands by the door, waiting for me to come in even after everyone else has ventured into another part of the house. I look up from my feet and meet her eyes.

She smiles, and in it I can see all her emotions – sadness, fear, relief, nervousness, happiness – and I realise that they’re much like my own. “Come in, Melissa. It’s okay.”

And I do, feeling strangely comforted by her smile and her words. I never would’ve thought that someone could say so much with so little, and this initial encounter has fuelled me with reassurance – reassurance that everything will be okay and that I’ll get through this, that we all will.